This is how it starts: you sit down with a menu, then stare in complete confusion at the words on the page before you. An improbably sophisticated waiter (at least to your North American eyes) quickly notices the furrowed eyebrows you’re giving the menu and immediately replaces it with one full of adjectives and nouns you can understand – in plain English. Ah! Yes. Now: time to order.

Scanning the menu under ‘entrée’ you can’t help but notice that it seems to be a list of appetizers. (Since when is a tomato salad considered a full meal?) Fear not – an entrée is translated as the ‘starter’ in France. So put away those thoughts that starvation is the key to a Parisian-slim figure.

If you’re out for lunch, undoubtedly there will be a large variety of salads. While I can’t possibly pick one perfect salad out of every single leafy creation in France, I will offer a few unforgettable suggestions.

The ‘Cesar’

This salad will not be composed exactly the same in every restaurant, café or home in Paris, but in all its variations it is just as delicious as the original. This particular version came with avocado, green beans, tomatoes (both fresh and sun-dried), cucumber, chicken and smoked duck (a classic French ingredient). Like most salads offered in Paris - and all mentioned in this article - the dressing is one out of several variations of vinaigrettes; this one is a lemon mustard vinaigrette.

The ‘Chèvre Chaud’

The general idea behind the ‘Chévre Chaud’ is as follows: take the most incredible pieces of French bread, top with several warm chunks of the freshest goat cheese (so fresh in fact, that the goat is still lactating to make up for its loss). Pile over crisp greens, and in this case, potatoes (another random ingredient found roaming all over salads in Paris). It’s a classic that could only go wrong for the lactose intolerant.

The ‘Légumes’

What other name to give a salad made entirely of green vegetation, than the French equivalent to ‘vegetables’ - ‘légumes’. This incredibly healthy salad is so common that it can be found in nearly every restaurant – with their unique tweaks, naturellement. The generous layering of low-calorie green beans, cholesterol-lowering lima beans, and life-saving cucumbers made me order a large glass of red wine to save my system from having a mental breakdown thinking it had warped into another person’s body.

The tally at three salads and several glasses of wine for lunch, you’re now ready for dinner.  No meal in Paris is complete without ordering something you’re truly frightened of, so strap on the Depends and get ready to take a few risks.

For the sake of sharing this adventure with you, I ordered escargots. I must confess, I am a person who can’t even carve a roasted chicken because it resembles, well, itself. Imagine my apprehensive 'delight' when I took the gamble to pry these snails out of their cozy homes and devour them? They are often served on a plate of course salt and flooded in parsley butter. In all honesty, they were actually quite tasty once you got past the whole ‘snail’ thing. Some other risks to consider: duck heart and foie gras (duck liver).

Silver Cod

Since we’re enjoying only the healthiest of dishes, Silver Cod felt like the right choice for the main course. Again, this an unselfish sacrifice for you, since I am not keen on fish except when snorkeling (in which case I prefer them to be alive. And herbivorous). The fact that I thoroughly enjoyed this dish, made perfect by its classic French simplicity (a light honey and champagne glaze with thin wafers provided the only flavors necessary for this mild white fish), is atonement for its live form that I normally detest. Traditionally a Chinese dish, this proves that the French are more than capable of perfecting the art of fusion cuisine.

Beurre Échiré

As with every meal, a basket of fresh and squishy warm bread is provided.  At the upscale restaurants you’ll get the chance to try the best butter in France – Échiré. A bottle of French red wine is optional but encouraged for all wine lovers.

I may only describe for you some of my personal favourites on this gastronomic adventure, since it would take an imposing encyclopedia to do the long list of salads, entrées and desserts of French cuisine justice.  Are you sufficiently inspired to do the same if the opportunity arises?

by Marayna Dickinson
all photos by Marayna Dickinson