When men get together in groups...

on Apr 23, 2015 @ 11:23 am

My bf plays a lot of hockey, and spends tons of time with groups of guys.

He made a comment to me recently about how common it is for guys to get together (like in the locker room, though I know it happens elsewhere) and just talk down about their wives/girlfriends/etc. 

My bf is such an honest and wonderful guy, I know he would just sit quiet and listen. But is anyone else bothered by this? I know there is this stereotype that "women always nag" and men get together to complain about it...

I feel like there's pressure as men and within the male groups to be "alpha males" and conform to the group (if others are also doing it) but still. Why does it need to be this way? Is it the norm? 

It really upsets me to think about the women at home, oblivious to the things said in the locker room/elsewhere...it makes me happy to have a respectful, honest dude.

14 Replies

women too... on Apr 23, 2015 @ 11:28 am

I guess I should note that I totally know women do this too.

And that also boggles my mind. I guess I've just always been one to keep things private. It's not just about my b, but I don't like the idea of gossiping about anyone behind their backs.

norm on Apr 23, 2015 @ 11:30 am

I think for the most part it is the norm. Just as if you get a group of women together they will talk about their husbands or partners. I think it's just human nature to gather and chat about what's important in their lives and to maybe connect with someone else over their significant others. I'm sure not all the talk is negative or even sexual in nature. I can't see too many guys going on about their wives sexual prowess, because that would be kind of encouraging the other guys to see that woman in a different light. And what guy wants his friends thinking sexual thoughts about his girl? So I personally wouldn't be concerned with it. The wives sitting at home are doing the same thing more often than not.

Just saw your second post on Apr 23, 2015 @ 11:33 am

Ultimately I think the people who are private are going to stay private and won't gossip. But there's really no putting an end to gossip. If you speak out against it, they'll still so it, just not when you're around. It's sad, but that's the society we live in.

Yes on Apr 23, 2015 @ 08:18 pm

It may just be his outlet for venting. Sometimes you just need to get something off your chest, instead of keeping it bottled up and causing resentment. I would say no harm, no foul. But if you're upset about it, talk to him

locker room on Apr 23, 2015 @ 09:14 pm

I play on a lot of co ed teams - I have for years - so I've been privy to a lot of this "locker room talk" and let me tell you: They seriously talk and do nothing of any interest.

It's more or less a place for them to go and be guys without fear of hurting their girlfriends feelings because let's face it, a lot of girlfriends are sensitive and don't always allow men to be their complete true selves. (The same is true for men.)

I swear, the main thing they talk about after a game is the size of the tits and ass of one of the players on the other team. Harmless stuff, but stuff a decent man would not say in front of you.
They also like to buy a lot of rounds and food for each other. This is guy thing. When the girlfriend is there they're under pressure not to do that because they're buying her beer and chicken nuggets, lol.

. on Feb 12, 2016 @ 03:04 pm

I think it's low for sure, and it absolutely bothers me for my boyfriend to do anything to get the approval of someone else. It just makes me see him is a different light and feel sick. I don't think anyone should be so desperate for friends or approval of people to talk down about their SO. I can't fathom how anyone would want approval or friendship from people like that in the first place.

. on Feb 12, 2016 @ 04:33 pm

My husband probably would never say anything except to a best friend. I don't mind him venting and saying how he feels. Sometimes he needs to get insight from his buddies.

Hmm.. on Feb 12, 2016 @ 05:04 pm

What I have to agree with what you other ladies have said "to try get approval from his friends". My boyfriend "that I know of" doesnt really vent to his friends about me our or relationship, we really just keep it to ourselves and talk things through. And really, what do you think his buddies are gonna sit there and say... are they gonna back you up and be on your side or his? lol I get that it could be a way to vent and say you know "oh just stressed out and whatever" but thats not usually the case.. I either here someone say " my girlfriends being such a b*tch, or I cant stand her right now, or all she does is complain" and I find it kind of disrespectful. I say the best way its worked for us is to just keep it to ourselves, like if we have a problem... we talk things through and move on...not jump on social media or get together with a group of friends and gossip away about it. It seems to make things worse too when you enlighten other people with problems in your relationship, especially if they are things that can be easily solved with some communication. :)

yes on Mar 01, 2016 @ 05:10 am

Good for both sexes to get together and unwind. I guess one could call it Unisex LOLLL

Women definitely do this too! on Mar 01, 2016 @ 04:52 pm

Women are so guilty of this. Maybe more so! As long as they're not saying super private things or being jerks towards their wives, who cares?! We all need an outlet.

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