Are you a Liar?

on May 20, 2010 @ 10:45 am

Today we had a service call scheduled.  We're having our driveway paved (it's gravel at the moment), and of course we need to be home for that.

I live in the US, and unemployment is still a huge problem.  So it shocked us that it took several months to even get a contractor down here to give us a quote.  It shocked us again when he called today saying that one of his guys hurt himself and so the whole project is delayed.

I smell burning pants!  I also smell Febreze-scented Mr Clean (I always go the extra mile for a service call, because I assume they will need to use the restroom at some point, and I scrub the house from top to bottom).  Well, at least that takes the pressure off the weekend's chore list!

My question is - are you a liar?  Maybe you fib if someone asks a favour or pretend someone's at the door to get out of a phone call.  Maybe you've gotten yourself into a stupid situation and try to lie your way around it.  And maybe you've even lied to get out of work.  Or do you believe that honesty is ALWAYS the best policy?

Don't be shy! That's what the "anonymous" button is for ;)

15 Replies

No lies, but small fibs on May 20, 2010 @ 11:41 am

I definitely believe that honesty is the best policy 99.9% of the time. I also believe that if you tell a big lie, you will get yourself tangled in a web, mix up your stories, and people will find out! I've had several friends in the past who I've caught in lies about silly things that there is just no need to lie about!! I think it was a confidence thing but it drove us apart in the end. My philosophy is: if you don't want people to know something, you have 2 options: don't do/say it in the first place or just flat out tell them you don't feel comfortable sharing!

However, I am okay with telling small fibs on occasion. Small things like "I have to cancel our dinner plans tonight because I'm swamped at work" when in reality you are exhausted and want to spend the night on the couch. Sometimes it's just easier to fib so the other person can't pressure you to change your mind.

That sounds basically like what the contractor may have done to you Mamaluv. Maybe he double booked himself, and if he gives a reason you can't argue with, his life is just a tiny bit easier.

But I am a firm believer that if you're friend's hair looks hideous and she asks your opinion - tell the truth and spare the poor girl's embarrassment!!

No lies but fibs? on May 22, 2010 @ 03:17 pm

I'm sorry, this made me laugh my arse off. A lie is a lie. You calling it a 'fib' doesn't make it any less of a lie LOL And I'll be the first to admit, I have done it in the past and it's likely I'll do it in the future. Does that make me a bad person? I don't think so. Because as a rule, my lies are not directed at hurting somebody.

For example: I've lied to save myself from having my religiously fanatical neighbors burn my house down (I was living overseas), I lied to get an extra day of vacation from work because I had just gotten over typhoid and needed an extra day of rest, I lied and told everybody my then bf and I - my husband now - were married and made a fake marriage license and submitted it to the local registry (the only other choice was us being harassed and not being able to live together), my mother in law - who treats me very well and very respectfully - gave me an article of clothing that I knew I wouldn't wear but I told her it was beautiful and that I loved it (what's to be gained from hurting a person's feelings in that situation?), my husband and I lied to his parents and didn't tell them we were living together for almost 3 years before getting married because it would have upset them very much (we actually just didn't tell them and made them think that we lived in separate places) etc etc etc. I could have chosen not to lie in these situations, but it would have made my life a whole lot more difficult, as well as dangerous. In the end, was anybody hurt by these lies? No. That's my personal justification.

Do I lie? Hell yes. Everybody does. But I draw the line as to what I will lie about and in which situations. I could choose to call them fibs, but I don't. A lie is a lie, no matter how you package it or why you do it :-)

Lying in a relationshippp on May 22, 2010 @ 03:34 pm

OK so i tried lying to my bf when we started going out to get even with him when ever he pissed me off. i never got caught but eventually i realized i didn't want to be in a relationship based on lies it was either he accepted me for who i was or he could find someone else. So i came clean about all my lies, it was one of the hardest things i had to do because one little lie turned into a huge lie that i had to continuously lie about so i wouldn't get caught. i realized it would have been so much easier if i just didn't lie to begin with but i learnt that the hard way.. Now i am a firm believe that honesty is the best policy

lies and fibs on May 26, 2010 @ 03:08 pm

You are right Satojoko, of course a fib is a lie. I suppose I could have titled my post "no lies, but small lies", but that just didn't sound as catchy! :)

I don't think the terminology used really makes a difference, but the word "fib" implies something less serious, it refers to an insignificant lie, thus why I used it - because I would never lie about something really important, just like I said! Honesty is the best policy - most of the time!

Does anyone have a funny story to share about getting tangled up in a lie???

A story of when I might have lied... but thankfully did not on May 26, 2010 @ 03:26 pm

An absolutely hilarious thing happened to me, where there was really no option but to admit the truth. There was no lying to get out of that jam! But instead of rehashing it here, I direct you to the link in my original thread starter (about lying to get out of work). Enjoy :)


Good One! on May 26, 2010 @ 03:38 pm

I just read the story now Mamaluv, that's hilarious!! Good thing you came clean or your boss would have thought you were losing it!

Ah, ok..... on May 26, 2010 @ 03:57 pm

Sorry cathy3087. It sounded to me like you actually thought a fib wasn't a 'real lie' LOL Misunderstanding :-) But it still made me laugh hahaha

I'd term a serious lie something that hurts another person/living thing/the planet, I guess. Lord knows we all do it :-)

:) on May 26, 2010 @ 04:22 pm

Check out this article -- for all the parents out there, turns out it may be a good thing if your toddlers lie to you!

Ali de Bold
Not a liar on May 26, 2010 @ 04:29 pm

I'm big on telling the truth. I hate being lied to above all so I try to always be honest. That also means it really irritates me if people lie to me. I can often tell if someone is, but its tough to call people on it.

I just think it wastes time and it's a disrespectful.

I used to be the same way..... on May 26, 2010 @ 10:31 pm

Actually, I still am. But when I suddenly was living in a different culture, I found that it didn't work. Asians lie to save face. They lie to not upset their parents. They lie due to insane societal restrictions. They lie to save their lives.

The same rules don't apply in every culture.

While in Canada, things are different. I tell my mother exactly what I'm thinking. I don't have to lie for fear of being assaulted or even killed because my neighbors don't agree with me living with somebody, I don't have to lie to save my own, or my husband's, skin. So I don't. But in South East Asia/Asia, quite honestly, people have no idea how to react when you tell them the truth. And it usually turns ugly. Violence, anger, and even murder. Even over simple misunderstandings. If you tell the truth and make somebody lose face, you could wake up with your house burnt down around your ears or with a bullet in the back of your head while strolling to your favorite coffee shop. All because somebody thinks you made them 'lose face'. It's a HUGE deal there. No thanks. In that case, I WILL lie. And I'll do a damn good job of it, too haha

If you talk to other expats who have lived in Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Taiwan, etc for a longer period of time, they will tell you the same thing. Telling the truth, no matter how much you want to because lying doesn't jibe with your ethics, can get you killed. I tell it when I can while living there. The rest of the time, I do what I have to to survive another day :-)

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