BOOK CLUB: Ellen and Andy's relationship

on Jul 27, 2009 @ 12:03 pm

I can't help but think that their relationship may never be the same. At the end of the book, their marriage seems to get back to normal, but I feel like it would be hard for Andy to gain Ellen's trust back. No matter how much she tries to show that she's changed, Andy (like anyone else) may question her judgments I've never been in this situation, but I would certainly understand if Andy has some doubts about her which may inevitably ruin their marriage in the long run.

Do you think Ellen and Andy’s relationship was changed by this
experience? Do you think Ellen ever confesses what happened in Leo’s

16 Replies

Could go either way on Jul 28, 2009 @ 12:31 am

It really could go either way. I hope that Andy realizes his mistakes that caused Ellen to go away from him (neglecting her, taking her for granted, etc) and I hope that Ellen realizes what she could have lost if she lost Andy (uncomplicated unconditional love).

I don't think Ellen confesses to Andy because by the end of the book you get the feel that she needed to go through that to realize Andy and their relationship, and she really put it past her as she moved forward in life with Andy. I think once something is mentally "over" for you, it truly is over and you don't bring it up not only because it might jepordize your now, but also because it doesn't hold sufficient importance to bring up, its not worth bringing up.

andy and ellen on Jul 28, 2009 @ 01:35 am

I don't think ellen would ever confess to andy about kissing leo because she knows it would ruin her marriage. Considering it was just a kiss,I don't know if I would consider it cheating,probably almost cheating.She needed to realize for herself that leo and her would never work out, and with that she realized what she had in Andy.From the way the story ended, I would think that Andy doesn't even want to question what may have happened and I think it's for the better.Sometimes some things are better left unsaid.

Nope on Jul 28, 2009 @ 11:10 am

I don't think she will ever confess. I think she realizes that she will lose him if she does - it is hard enough to be in a marriage that is strained and throwing that in the mix may make things fall apart. I have never been in this situation, and each marriage is different, but they definitely have things to work through in order to move forward and strengthen their relationship.

I am sure we have all had our Leos. That one guy who you loved and who broke your heart. Perhaps this was the only way she could get him out of her system...

Agree! on Jul 28, 2009 @ 12:32 pm

I completely agree with you ladies, I don't think Ellen will ever confess and I don't think Andy wants to know. He knows that she chose to leave even though he gave her an ultimatum so I'm sure he doesn't want to know what else she chose to do, knowing what she had to lose.

Personally if I were Ellen, I think it would make me sick to look Andy in the eye after that knowing what I had done. Even though she chose not to go through with anything, I definitely think kissing is a betrayal of their marriage (or any relationship).

am I being too hard on her? on Jul 28, 2009 @ 12:44 pm

I agree with some of the other posts in the other discussions and I think that Andy taking her back (and the very "happy ever after" 1 year later ending) was the most unrealistic part of the story. Ellen did so many things wrong and I think that the kiss was the least of it. She kept so much from Andy, she shut him out, she took him for granted and more important than the kiss, she got emotionally involved with Leo. I know this sounds too idealistic, but if she was having doubts about her marriage (and the move) she should have talked to Andy about it instead of turning towards Leo. In real life, I don't think it would have been so easy - I also think Ellen never seemed to be really committed to Andy, so I suspect it wouldn't have been long until another moment where she felt disconnected to him and turned towards something/someone else...

I agree on Jul 28, 2009 @ 06:13 pm

I do not think confessing is in the cards for Ellen and I agree with curlysue10 in that I don't think Andy wants to know either. I did find the taking back of someone a year later part to be unrealistic but on the same token I have seen things like that in the lives of my friends where I can't understand it either so I guess it does happen. I agree with Nessie that we have all had our Leos but I do think that you have to be responsible for the choices we make and Ellen really risked a lot just to get something that 'could have been' out of her system.

I completely agree with torgrl.. on Jul 28, 2009 @ 08:05 pm

I may be a little pessimistic here, but I think Ellen still doesn't know exactly what she needs. As I mentioned before, Andy is a safety net - a safe catch for any girl looking to settle down. Ellen wants to move slower and this comes up several times when they refer to having children. At one point, she tells her friends and acquaintances that "children are in the near future" just to keep them happy. She's almost hesitant to step forward and take the leap with Andy because she still has doubts even if she doesn't admit them. Cheating is cheating - kissing is a physical form of cheating. I don't think their relationship will ever be the same, especially since she's knowingly keeping a secret from him which will come out eventually.

Change is good. on Jul 28, 2009 @ 10:17 pm

I think Ellen got what she needed out of this whole experience. Her and Andy seemed to have things worked out for what suited their marraige the best. To live in two places in once is what works for them. We have no reason to believe that they would be unhappy otherwise or to think that Ellen still doesn't know what she wants. The book left off with everyone happy.
There is probably not a need to mention the kiss because everyone has moved on and the past can finally be in the past now. I'm sure they realize that that is a part of growing up. You live and you learn. Now they can grow together stronger than ever before.

ellen on Jul 29, 2009 @ 12:19 am

I think that this whole situation is margot's fault.Because of margot ellen is torn between what is and what could have been.If she had told ellen about leo coming back from the beginning,then this whole leo scenario would have been over and done with long ago and she would not have questioned her life with andy.


She learned on Jul 29, 2009 @ 11:05 pm

I think Ellen learned her lesson and confessing? Not a chance! If anything I think it helped her end a chapter of her life, realise what makes her happy (in marriage and with her career) and helped her move forward! I think by Andy showing up in NYC, it proved that he forgave her and maybe even understood why she needed to do what she did.


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