Being social


Anonymous
on Sep 13, 2016 @ 12:20 am

Hi chicks

Once upon a time, I had a lot of friends. But as I got older we all drifted apart. I'm totally okay with that as we all are totally different people along with a lot of other circumstances that makes me not care to be social with my past.
Anyhow, no that I'm in my late 30's I'm finding it real hard to make friends. I swear even my family doesn't want anything to do with me. I've tried a few different things to try and be social but I don't know if it's me ..., my name ... Or just people in general.
How the heck is a married woman with children supposed to make friends?
any suggestions? I don't think I'm a bad person, I think I'm nice. But my goodness, like I said even my family doesn't care to socialize with me, unless it's a holiday.
 

15 Replies


pooskin
Friends on Sep 13, 2016 @ 01:00 am

I know how u feel , i just moved and i thought its just me that something wrong with me i couldnt make friends , so i gave up , just short conversation with girls, but i felt like we so different.and finally i met a really nice girl that is my type of people i dont need to pretend to be someone else. She has the same ideas that i have about the life. And we became friends . You will find friends , just be patient.and my advice dont change yourself to get people attention. Real true friend will accept you as you are now. About your family i hope its not the case, may be they just too busy. Its like once we had kids we get so busy and barely see our relatives, its either birthday, wedding or funeral. I think its just a life
Reply

jujusamples
I Understand on Sep 13, 2016 @ 02:20 am

I totally understand how you feel, I think it's part of life. As we get older, we have more responsibilities, so much harder to go hang out.

You could try joining a club, or take a class of something you enjoy doing? The ChickAdvisor Showcase is a good example and I believe will be a good place to meet fellow Chicks. At least at events like that, you know you have something in common with everyone whom is there. :)
Reply

Marfree
. on Sep 13, 2016 @ 09:21 am

I feel your pain! I had a very active social life with a huge circle of friends. I got married, had children and they seemed to disappear. I chose when my kids were younger to focus on them and not be out socializing all the time, I just couldn't bring myself to be dropping them of at a sitter so I could go out socializing! I love that I spent so much time with them and never regret it for a minute! Now that they are growing up and their friends are more important than boring old Mom lol I find myself a little lonely sometimes. I don't like the drama that some women always seem to want to get involved in so most times I choose to just stay low key and keep people at bay! I find lots and lots of hobbies to keep myself busy and occupied. My hubby and I go on lots of trips and do a lot together so that helps a lot! I consider him my best friend and I guess that's all I need.
Reply

coultlee
. on Sep 13, 2016 @ 02:06 pm

i have pretty much been a loner as long as I can remember. I spend more time with my sister than anyone. Since her husband passed away we do more than we ever did. I went to my first concert Billy Currington last weekend was fantastic. I know how you feel it gets very lonely at times when you just want to go out somewhere or do something. Feel free to message me anytime I check this site everyday .
Reply

WhiteLatifah
i guess on Sep 13, 2016 @ 03:19 pm

i know its not easy making friends im almost 40 and moved to a new town and it sucks alittle to be honest.. and having MS is not helping but thats why im always here or on my youtube, then again i dont mind cause i ok
Reply

wendyroy
. on Sep 13, 2016 @ 04:36 pm

i find it easiest to make friends when doing things you enjoy doing daily. I have made a lot of friends while walking my dogs...run into other dog people, chat, and the next thing you know I have a new friend. Is there anything you enjoy doing? A sport, hobby, volunteer work, etc? You're a lot more likely to make friends in those situations as you already have something in common.

Also, do you feel comfortable putting yourself out there? I have 2 sons, one who Is like me, and makes friends very easily. My other son is more re of an introvert, waits for someone else to make the first move, so to speak. Also, he seems to be have trouble keeping a conversation going (or is not interested in doing so). The dog park is a good example. I always ask what their dogs name is, age, etc... It usually leads to a conversation after a few friendly nellquestions. My oldest son doesn't initiate a conversation, and will usually give one word answers, and he is the one who is seen as less social. I think it's shyness, and some disinterest, but it is interesting to see 2 people in the same situation with such a different outcome.

You mentioned you have kids...are they is sports? That's a great way of meeting other parents. Many of my friends are parents of kids my kids played hockey or football with.

You may want to initiate a fun night and invite people...a Murder Mystery night, or game night. Prepare some snacks, have fun, and plan to do it again...

Good luck. by the way, you mentioned your name....I'm not sure if I understood that, but I have a friend with a very difficult to pronounce ethnic name, so she just calls herself Sugar now.
Reply

Tracyr
. on Sep 13, 2016 @ 07:13 pm

I know exactly how you feel ,it is harder to make friends as we get older ,I find joining sites like this one is a great way to meet people and sometimes even joining a book club is a great way to meet new people
Reply

Vavavanessa
; on Sep 13, 2016 @ 08:09 pm

I'm totally in the same boat. I live in a small town, to make things worse (population 800). I feel like as I get older, I have less in common with people than ever. There are no places near where I live to meet new people. Definitely isolated. Thank goodness for social media.
Reply

crystaljam
Hmmm... on Sep 14, 2016 @ 11:03 am

We have a set of friends who have had two kids over the 9 years we have known them. Friday nights, they invite their friends over to play board games, order in food, catch up, etc. The kids are there (and now old enough to play on their own, or even play some of the simpler games we play), and they don't have to find a sitter.

It's an open door policy, and seemed to have worked for them and their friends :) I'm too pooped after a work week to go out, but a few hours chatting with them at their place can be pretty amazing some weeks.
Reply

KittyKat101
SOCIAL on Sep 14, 2016 @ 11:42 am

I found after I separated from my husband, most of my friends were his friends and I do not see them anymore. I meet a few women at the gym I go to but we just chat there. It would be nice to have a friend to go out to eat with or just to hang around. Most of my time is spent looking after my mother she is 90 years old.
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