DESPERATELY SEEKING ADVICE...


Cuppedcakes
on Mar 08, 2016 @ 04:49 pm

Hello chicks I'm a single Mum of two elementary grade level children, residing in Edmonton ,Alberta, Canada. Their father and I have been legally divorced for a few years now and currently have a custody agreement in place however it has worked in both of our favour to have previously if needed amend that agreement on our own terms. For example my daughter asked if she would be able to live with her father for this/last years school start (the father lives in Wabasca which is about a four hour drive from Edmonton) so instead of her living with me for the majority of the year she is with him and I've access weekends and holidays. Before that decision my ex and I had agreed to try split custody and my son had been living with him previously and it wasn't an ideal situation having the siblings separated so we agreed that our son would remain with him. Both children have expressed their desire to return home to Edmonton for this year. The problem is my ex is resisting and is now saying he feels it's in the children's best interests to remain with him and he wants the custody agreement to change. Whilst I don't disagree the order could be revisited I'm absolutely not conceding to granting him the role of full time carer nor am I willing to give up custody of our children for another year. I was naive to think we were managing the custody ourselves as clearly the only reason it worked is because I was willing to bend and now when it's meant to be him keeping his word and or bending he is not. He has told me if I'm not going to agree with me he will peruse the legal avenue of changing the custody order.
My question is this: what legally should I be doing to ensure that I either keep the custody as is or to make sure I'm not taken for a custody battle?
If possible and this is your area of expertise (Alberta family law) and or you know someone in the system etc and you or they would be willing to dispense some actual sound relevant legal advice please please please comment below. 
I'd be most grateful. 

XO
 

11 Replies


Cuppedcakes
I can't pay on Mar 08, 2016 @ 04:50 pm

but my gratitude would be priceless
Reply

Cuppedcakes
Please on Mar 08, 2016 @ 09:22 pm

amyone?
Reply

Angelwingsx2
Seeking Advice on Mar 08, 2016 @ 09:42 pm

If I were you Cuppedcakes I would go and get myself a lawyer.Seems to me that he knows what he is doing so you ..If you don't get your kids home soon,he will have them talked over to stay with
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prettyrainbow
. on Mar 09, 2016 @ 12:02 am

Definitely consult with a lawyer, but at the same time, try to keep this as amicable as possible for the sake of the children. As a teacher, I've had my share of experience seeing the effects that divorce has had on children and it's really heartbreaking. I can advise you this - Keeping the children safe and happy is the number one priority. If they are going to be safer and happier with one parent versus the other, then the obvious solution is for them to live with that parent. Also, listen to what the children are feeling and telling you. They obviously have a reason for saying they want to live in Edmonton and it should be discussed further with them, without swaying them to side with one parent or the other. Just let them pour out their feelings to you and really listen to their needs. Personally, I believe that they shouldn't be the ones having to travel back and forth, but rather, it should be the adults' responsibility to do so. Give them stability and you'll be thankful for making that decision in the long run. I know every parent wants their child close to them, but the hardest question to ask in this situation is if that's really best for the child. Put their needs first and it will all work out. Good luck!
Reply

Cuppedcakes
Much love on Mar 09, 2016 @ 02:31 pm

It is so comforting to have a forum like this I'm so grateful for you ladies.
I've made an appointment for a consultation with what the ads refer to as the best family law legal aid in Edmonton and will see what's what ASAP.
If possible I'd like to update and still very much welcome advice.
Thank you thank you thank you
Reply

wonderwhatif
. on Mar 09, 2016 @ 02:59 pm

Definitely get a lawyer! Try and talk it out, but make sure you know your legal rights and have a backup. If he tries to push, he needs to know that you are capable of standing your ground.

The good news is if it does go to court, with the kids wanting to stay with you and you being the mother, it should go on your side. But definitely get legal consult as you're going to want to do everything possible to keep your kids able to do the agreed schedule.
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Anonymous
Time for outside counsel on Mar 09, 2016 @ 03:00 pm

You don't necessarily have to turn this into a court and custody battle. That being said it is still possible to keep this amicable but with the emotions and stress envolved try seeking an unbiased and outside family councillor together to truely discuss and keep it all in the best interests of the children and not what you or he believes is best. Sometimes it is hard to keep that objective in perspective. I applaud the two of you for putting your kids needs first infront of your own and when approaching your ex about this I would be sure to emphasize that you just want to ensure that this continues to be the case and not what may make the living situation of one or the other easier. Good Luck and God Bless
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jcb75
I wish I had advice on Mar 09, 2016 @ 03:43 pm

I don't have anything new to offer, I agree with the chicks in here. I just wanted to add that I'm sending my good thoughts (and prayers, if you'll have them), and you have our full support. Even if you just need to talk.
Reply

Katherine78
Community legal clinic on Mar 09, 2016 @ 10:23 pm

Is there a free legal clinic you can access close to you? But definitely need some good,smart legal advice! You need someone on your side! Good luck!
Reply

wendyroy
. on Mar 09, 2016 @ 10:25 pm

i agree with the other chicks. Try to get some legal advice.
Reply

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