Does this bother anyone else?People showing up unannounced

on Jul 08, 2010 @ 01:10 pm

Most of my friends and family will call/email if they want to come over for a visit.I love having company and when they ask thats great I have time to tidy up ,make up some snacks,refreshments.Even if they call 10 minutes before stopping by I prefer that.But there are three people a friend of my boyfriend,one of my boyfriends  sisters and a friend of mine that just show up out of the blue.Now if it happened just now and then no problem but two of them make a habit of it at least 4-6 times a month sometimes more.They never show up late but it may be a early morning that I'm relaxing and just want to be lazy and stay in pjs a bit longer,or when were busy doing something.Its never the same times always random and it annoys me it has become my new pet peeve.My boyfriend has no problem with it.Am I being a grump on this issue?Does this bug anyone else?Just curious.

11 Replies

Ali de Bold
I see your point on Jul 08, 2010 @ 01:47 pm

I think that would bug me too. It's nice when people feel comfortable enough to do that. But I can see your point about wanting some notice to tidy up etc. Can you just not answer the door the times you need your space? Would they know you are home? I know that's not ideal but if I've had a really long day and don't feel like talking I don't take my calls. I give myself the time I need and then call them back. That could work the same with your surprise visitors.

Either that or the next time they show up too early, go greet them in your pajamas and stink breath. Breathe all over them. That'll teach them to call first! ;)

yes and no on Jul 08, 2010 @ 02:10 pm

I love it when people drop by unannounced - during reasonable visiting hours! However, if someone did it constantly then yes, that would irritate me a lot.

In the case of your boyfriend's sister and friend, you should ask him to deal with it. He will know the best way to gently ask them to call first. For your friend, it's your responsibility to deal with it.

Even if your BF doesn't share your pet peeve, you are entitled to it and he needs to back you up. Make it clear to everyone that you love to socialize with them, but just need a little advance notice, even if it's just 15 minutes to jump in the shower first.

re:I see your point on Jul 08, 2010 @ 02:24 pm

LOL!Ali!...I think I would scare them in my ratty ol pajamas and stinky breath maybe that is the answer haha.When I hear that knock on the door I instantly run into my bedroom to change.The main problem is my boyfriend is way more social then me and has no problem when this happens.The two that are the worst are his friend and sister so I feel awkward saying anything to them,although I'm sure they can tell I'm not overly excited and welcoming them with open arms these days.If it were my friends I would just say bluntly can you please call before coming over.My friend that has done this as well has not showed up for awhile so I haven't had the chance to say please call.I just dont want to be the bad guy with my boyfriends friend and sister.

it would bug me! on Jul 08, 2010 @ 02:43 pm

Why not try this: next time they come over unannounced, meet them in your pjs, bed hair and stinky breath, or messy rooms, and welcome them with open arms BUT laughingly tell them "I'm so sorry for the mess / pjs guys. I wish you'd called i could have freshened up for you!" ... be very smiley and sweet, but get your message across.

good luck :)

Did he show up again like you said, Bubba? on Jul 09, 2010 @ 12:06 am

Hahaha I believe I know one of the people you're talking about, Brenda, and I don't think opening the door all smelly and skanky would get through his head LOL As for your smiley man's family, yes, get him to deal with it, definitely. He may not mind when they drop in any time, but I know if my guy just let anybody come in at any time - even my mother god forbid - I wouldn't be too thrilled. And seeing as we both know each other's guys - and mother's - you know what I'm talking about :-) That's one thing I LURV about living in an apartment building. There are several doors and layers of security everybody has to go through to get to us!

I think we should start calling our men Ren and Stimpy LOL I think it suits them!

Hot Cuppa
Even 10 minutes is short notice :-) on Jul 14, 2010 @ 11:42 am

Does this bug anyone else, you ask? Actually, I would be cringing at those who give just a "10 minute" advance warning (which you have no problem with), so imagine what zero notice and a sudden 'knock on the door" would do to set my heart pounding!

If I were enjoying my morning and still in my pj's, I'd probably call through the door for them to come back in an hour or so.

While it's nice that they are comfortable enough to 'drop in', I think that it is unnecessary in this day and age (hello, cell phone) and, actually, inconsiderate, particularly early in the morning when it's a precious time to lounge around. I'm sure you work hard during the week and deserve time to yourself. You don't need to be someone else's source of entertainment at their beck and call.

To be fair, it could be cultural. Some of my friends have big families and think nothing of setting another plate at the table for unexpected guests. But what you are talking about is those who make a habit out of dropping by in search of something to do to fill their void.

I suggest that you ask them to call half an hour in advance so that you "have the coffee on!" or be honest with "this morning isn't convenient - but we'd love if you could visit us at tomorrow at 4pm"...

Good luck! :-)

To call before coming or not on Jul 14, 2010 @ 05:18 pm

yes and no it bothers me. I have many people that come by without notice...... very few give me notice now that I think about it. I do appreciate the time to tidy things up and make sure I am in something appropriate but I guess I am kind of a take it or leave it type of person. what ya see is what ya get and if you came to see the house and not me then you should give me notice lol

I've never actually had that on Jul 16, 2010 @ 01:02 am

I've actually never had anyone drop by unannounced. I've had people phone and say they're in the area and if they can drop by in 10 - 15 mins or 30 mins but no one knocks on my door out of nowhere. But then again I also live by myself in an apartment so they might not be able to get in and I might not be home.

If this were to happen I might be a little annoyed depending on what I had planned. If I was free anyway then it's not a big deal but I might have other things planned and now I have to rearrange things last minute. Or depending what I had I'd say too bad and go away :P

Driving around watching my house then dropped gets better. on Feb 07, 2011 @ 06:27 pm

Had this chick texting me and seeing what I was up to and unbeknowst to me was actually driving around my block watching my window decideding when to announce they were dropping by.It ended up being her and a few friends I didnt know well.They said they were out my way and thought they'd stop by.They were "high" on mj and giggling.They wanted a tour of my house,too.I was not very amused by this "drop in" but played it cool.Funny thing is the driver has never asked me to her house for anything and I'm pretty sure her and her g-friend wouldnt like it.At the time her and her g-friend were not getting along and she had been confiding in me.Her g-friend was not in the group the night they dropped in....

What to make of this?feel like giving her a dose of her own meds..


Ali de Bold
Why bother? on Feb 07, 2011 @ 09:35 pm

Honestly it sounds like these people are pretty immature. I wouldn't waste your time or energy there.

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