Family calling my son "that kid"


Boychuk25
on Jul 11, 2016 @ 05:23 pm

I went to my husbands family function this weekend. Am I wrong here - but one one of his family
Members got annoyed with my son ... and refferd to him as "that kid"
This isn't the first time this family has spoken about him in this fashion. I find it very rude, hurtful and insulting. Am I wrong to feel this way?
 

11 Replies


wendyroy
wow on Jul 11, 2016 @ 05:28 pm

No, you are not being sensitive. I think DHs family member is very rude. did you say anything. I think I would have been tempted to say "are you talking about my son? his name is Tim...." If it were me I would ask hubby to have a chat with the offensvive relative, and if he can't, maybe you should. You can always start by saying that you were hurt by the comment...
Is it possible they don't know his name? Step families can have a lot of baggage, and it's best unpacked ant put away quickly.
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Boychuk25
. on Jul 11, 2016 @ 05:39 pm

Oh no they totally know his name.
I'm pretty sure this family isn't fussy for me. And if they are their hearts are very cold and they don't know how to make people feel welcomed.
I know if I said anything to them is be labelled as the bad guy (as usual)
This families dog bit my daughter years and years ago and I lost my mind and believe me, nobody apologized, nobody asked if she was okay. It was a huge bit and left a huge mark, there was blood. And I was the bad guy for getting upset.
Eeeeeek I just don't know how to handle my husbands family. Such a disappointment they are to me.
Reply

lferriman65
You are by far the better Person on Jul 11, 2016 @ 05:51 pm

I'm so sorry to hear that your *Son was referred to as
"that kid" by your in-laws!!
Shame on them ... You are not wrong to feel the way
that you do, & yes it was *Very Rude & insensitive of
them to refer to a little boy in that manner!!!
I hope that your able to work through this without any further insults from people that *should know better & behave more like an adult/'s should!!!
Take care of your self knowing that you are in the right, & have people that back you 100%!!!
Reply

jujusamples
. on Jul 11, 2016 @ 06:21 pm

I'm sorry to hear that you in-laws are so insensitive towards your family. You are not wrong for being upset. That being said, I take it as they are always like this towards your family?
How does your husband feel about it? It is possible for him to speak with them? Sometimes when it just doesn't work with family, it's best not to be around them too much. My cousin and I aren't always in best terms. It's not that it's anyone's fault, it's just we have differences that can't be changed.
I realize real quick that I can not change a person but could only change myself. I took the chance and see her as little as possible. It works out great for both parties, we have no more hard feelings and when we do see each other, there are no longer tensions.

Not sure if avoiding them is an option for your family, but it's worth to talk about that with your husband. It's not good for your son's emotional and mental health be treated that way and not know why they are treating him that way.
Reply

Boychuk25
. on Jul 11, 2016 @ 08:52 pm

Distance is definitely our best option. Thank goodness they actually don't live near by and we don't see them often. Which in my mind and heart makes it hurt that much more. Considering we are the ones that do the travelling when we do see them (2hours) away, you would think they could bite their toung and let frivolous things go. Sure kids annoy me too but they're kids and they're making memories. And when these stupid things happen it hurts my heart cause it's just creating a bad memory.
Well thanks everyone who answered - I'm glad to see that I'm not over reacting and it seems like it would of offended you chicks as well.
Reply

prettyrainbow
. on Jul 11, 2016 @ 11:51 pm

They should have known better than to use that term to address your child, especially if he was able to hear them, which for his sake, I hope he didn't. People can be insensitive to the needs of others and when it comes to children, they should really think twice. I suggest you come to an agreement with your husband for any future visits. You both need to be on the same page in terms of what to do or say if something like this happens again. It's always best to show that you're a united front so that you have the upper hand in the situation.

Depending on his age, if your son heard the rude remark, ask him to tell you how he felt in that moment. You can also discuss ways in which he can tell those family members about his feelings if they act that way towards him again during future visits. On the same note, you need to think of the reason the family was annoyed with your son in the first place. Although they had no right to say that to/about him, if there was any chance that your son was misbehaving while in their home, you need to address this with your child as well. He needs to learn that respect works both ways. If, on the other hand, your son was behaving properly, then let him know how proud you were of him and that the remark had nothing to do with him personally.

It takes a whole lot of patience to deal with family, sometimes. I hope things will improve from here on out. Good luck!


Reply

Boychuk25
. on Jul 12, 2016 @ 01:22 am

Thanks @ prettyrainbow
My son did misbehave. We surely discussed it and he apologized. Just from my point of view, calling any child - family or not "That kid" or "your kid" totally disrespectful. He surely did hear it. I really don't know what to think about the whole situation. Kids often misbehave and me as a mother of 4 could never ever ever react that way to someone else's child. if I were to talk to my husbands family members children or them in the same manor I know it would not be accepted. But then again, I just couldn't even think to do that.
As I mentioned above, my son did apologize but he didn't receive an apology for their outburst either.
Thanks again for your advice :)
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lferriman65
Hey Boychuk25 ... on Jul 12, 2016 @ 01:58 am

*It's a great feeling to know that when in need of moral support (or anything else), ... that *One Of Your Peers from #ChickAdvisor is just a *Click away!!*
Take good care Boychuk25!!
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Irememberu
Boychuick25 on Jul 12, 2016 @ 02:55 am

NO You are not wrong. I would just say Oh you mean Johnny?/ That is just plain rude and hurtful on their part. I hate when people say that I also hate when someone says you people.
Reply

MelRichard
. on Jul 13, 2016 @ 02:52 pm

I would be so upset - that's really ignorant! Are they like this with all of their grandchildren, or just your son?
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