i just don't want to be like her!!!!


reeshie19
on Apr 21, 2008 @ 11:29 am

besides the fact that she is caring and SO generous....my mother has some BAAAAAD things about her and it seems its being passed onto me.for example...im petty,she is petty,im easily irritated,and so is she,she is a nag pot and so am i.i am totally aware of this and i don't know what to do to stop it...when i look at my parents having a tiff...i see myself and my boyfriend...arrrrgh!she has become more miserable,due to menopause,so i have a feeling its all rubbing off on me.i don't wana be like that,i wanna b a happy chappy:(coz i actually am....he he
 

14 Replies


aleesa
ah...yes... on Apr 21, 2008 @ 12:01 pm

I know what you mean, I've found myself in simillar situations where i've felt as though the bad qualities in family genes had taken a hold of me. What I realized I had to do, was to try to be really conscious of what I do, to be more relaxed and chill, and really try to monitor my every move and control how i react, every reaction is a choice, and what I tried to do was to reslly think before I reacted a certain way, so that way I had time to change my reaction into aabetter one. It can be tiresome because its like your watching yourself all the time, but they say it takes 21 days to breaka habit. Also, try to do some realxing peaceful activities, do things for yourself ,take time for yourself, bubble bath, go out for a coffee, and when you feel really peaceful and realxed inside you usually tend to be more temperametal, nd things dont bother you as much. Hope this helps :)
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reeshie19
phew on Apr 21, 2008 @ 12:21 pm

someone in the same boat as me:)as you can see i am in desperate need of an answer coz i have been waiting for a reply:)hehe...yup u r ryt,thank u!i think i need to have more patience with myself,thats why i've never really taken the time to check before i react...i guess it will become of second nature once i get into the swing of things....this is going to be a tough task but thanks anyway x x x
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aleesa
u betcha on Apr 21, 2008 @ 12:54 pm

good luck hun! ;) All the best
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Ali de Bold
Good advice, Aleesa! on Apr 21, 2008 @ 01:43 pm

In addition to what aleesa said, try to think positive. Instead of "I won't be like my mother" think "I will be patient" "I will be positive".

Sounds lame, but switching your mind set to focus on the positive things you will do is more effective than just telling yourself what you won't do. Don't beat yourself up too much if you slip here and there. It is going to happen. Just focus on working towards the "new you".

The fact that you are aware you do these things is already a good sign because it means you can change it. Good on you!
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hunter_jc
Yeah i know what you mean. on Apr 21, 2008 @ 03:19 pm

I once found my dad copied my porn into his computer. So me and my dad are alike. But thats good. That means maybe one day i will have a happy family with daughter and son.
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Anonymous
Creepy! on Apr 21, 2008 @ 03:25 pm

Ewwww!
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hunter_jc
What i mean is on Apr 21, 2008 @ 04:13 pm

is that my dad has a happy family and i would too in the future. So being alike to the parent is nothing bad. Actually once, i went to this mall without telling anyone. When i got out of the store, i found my dad's car parked right next to mine.
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reeshie19
hahaha on Apr 21, 2008 @ 04:13 pm

i agree anonymous...TMI!
thanks ladies x x x
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Bubblybunny
I go through the same thing on Apr 21, 2008 @ 04:55 pm

Reeshie, you are not alone! When I was growing up, I told myself over and over again I will never ever behave like a certain someone in my family. I told myself b/c I'm aware of her bad qualities, then I will never act like her and never treat people the way she treats people. For the most part, I can see myself being different from her, trying to be everything she's not. However, once in awhile when I'm really angry, I find this "person" creeping into my life, taking control of my actions. I often don't even realize how badly I am behaving until I've already done it. I usaully realize it quickly and feel awful about it. Since I've already lost my temper, I can't change that...but I keep telling myself I will not do it again and I apologize immediately to whoever it was that caught the full whiff of my temper. Then, I tried to be extra nice to that person to make up for it.

For me, I think constantly reminding myself to be a better person is all I can do. Sometimes I am caught off guard and lose my temper but I think as MC said, as long as I'm aware and I try to change, then it's a good start.

I know I will never be like that person in my family. At the very least, that person never even realized how badly she behaved towards other people, she never apologized and she never tried to make things right. I know I'm a step ahead of her already. So I think while you think you are just like your mom, you are not. At least you know who you don't want to be and you can work towards that.
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Anonymous
Gross. on Apr 22, 2008 @ 01:15 pm

Too much information. Keep it to yourself. I agree with Reeshie19 and other anonymous on that one. I also agree with MissChickie's advice.
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