Sibling question

on Jul 06, 2016 @ 07:47 am

I have an older brother and sister. I am in my mid 30's and my sister just turned 40.
I for some reason was not invited to her 40th birthday celebration. It actually really hurt me. My sister and I get along well but not as much as I'd like to.
I also have a sister in law who just turned 40 and also wasn't invited to celebrate with her. I understand there's a little gap in our ages but they surely like to turn to me when they need other forms of help. Like watching their children.

I want to have a close relationship with my sister. I've tried so hard but she doesn't seem interested. I know all her friends, they know me but for some reason she doesn't want me in her social circle.
Well that's how I feel. Friends are way more important to her than me and it actually hurts a lot.

I include her in everything. Please anyone have ideas how I can try and build a bigger bond with my sister?


7 Replies

. on Jul 06, 2016 @ 09:05 am

That seems so heart breaking I have a sister who is 2 years younger and we are close but can go weeks without seeing each other due to work, kids, etc. However I'm always included in any kind of celebration that she has. Have you ever sat down and spoke with her about these things, whenever I have an issue with my sister I immediately talk to her about it.
Maybe because your younger she thinks you wouldn't be interested? I think that talking about it with her is the best way to let her know how you feel and to get it all out in the open. I hope everything works out for you and your sister.

. on Jul 06, 2016 @ 10:24 am

Sadly she's not a person you can turn to with any issues like this. She will absorb everything you say now and later, it could be weeks,
Whatever but she will throw it in your face and cause a huge fight over it. How many times she's put me down and still I want a relationship with her!! At the end of the day, we are family and I forgive her for all the things she says hurtful to me but talking to her about why I'm not included is probably going to make it worse. I don't need a pity invite. I just want to be included.

. on Jul 06, 2016 @ 01:10 pm

That is really sad, is she like this with everyone? Your brother as well? Sister or not I wouldn't let anyone put me down. I can't imagine having this kind of relationship with a family member. Sad to say but maybe your better off, she doesn't sound like a very nice person. (no disrespect intended).

. on Jul 06, 2016 @ 01:36 pm

She has her moments with everyone. She gets along way more with my brother as they're closer in age. She's hurt me so bad before I stopped talking to her for almost a year. I just wish she would see we are sisters and that should beat any friendship she has with anyone else and perhaps try to include me in her social circle.
One thing I have taught myself about her is, it's best to keep conversation to a minimum and not tell her turning. But that's hard cause I want to have that relationship with her where I can call her and tell her everything without her being rude or throwing things at me down the road.

. on Jul 06, 2016 @ 02:10 pm

Have you guys had major problems in the past that she's still holding onto? My sister and I are extremely different, she's outgoing and loud (I mean this with love lol) and I'm a little antisocial and she will go out of her way to include me in things even if she knows I won't do it, at least she asks. Could you write her something, that way she can't cut you off verbally and you have a chance to get everything out the way you would want to.

sister on Jul 07, 2016 @ 02:13 am

I'm sorry for you. It's a hard call, but if it was me I'd not worry and accept it even though it's hard. I would never include her in anything going on in my life, wouldn't call her etc. In other words, I would lock her out of my life. Yes, it's harsh but that's me. We are all different. Try and not let it get you down.

:( on Jul 07, 2016 @ 08:56 am

I like the idea of writing her a letter. You can get your feelings all down on paper, and still have the time to edit it so you get to say exactly what you want exactly how you want to say it.
You may decide not to send may make you feel better just to put the words down. My only advice if you decide to do this... avoid accusatory terms like "You always"... or "You never" try to use things like "I feel like" or "I would like" instead. can't tell "tone" with the written word, so while you may not want to sound one way, it may be read as such.
Good luck!

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