Turning 30 depression.


wonderwhatif
on Jan 15, 2016 @ 04:16 pm

Hey, I'm not trying to complain, I know many of you fabulous ladies are well past the big 30.

But I'm feeling a bit glum about it. I'm turning 30 on February first and it's pretty hard time for me. Originally I had planned to have a party and take a small vacation to see my parents, but then my cat needed his $8,000 surgery and it flew out the window.

I'm so grateful to have him alive, I don't feel like I can be disappointed, but at the same time I feel a little sad. I always spoil people on their birthday and whenever I have a birthday it's low key. I always said I would spoil myself on my 30th and now I'm not in a position to do so.

I know there are people in the world who don't even have homes (but I hate the game of who's got it worse, you'll never win that one.)

But I just feel this is a very difficult time for me as I am missing my family and have a huge fear of feeling forgotten or unimportant on my birthday. I know it's selfish, but I just want to be a little bit spoiled.

Since I developed Agoraphobia, many of my friends don't have the time to visit and I'm feeling a bit invisible, so I was wondering...

do any of you ladies have any tips or advice for shaking off the birthday blues? I'm so happy to reach 30 as I had a lot of health problems in my life, but I'm still struggling with health and not where I want to be and birthdays always become a time of reflection and loneliness for me.

I'd appreciate any advice!
 

14 Replies


martac
, on Jan 15, 2016 @ 05:04 pm

honey I just turned 40 and I know what you are going through. I had a slight midlife crisis as I all it at 38. I am single, I have no kids and I'm always being reminded of that by everyone I know. Trust me I wanted to run away. The way I dealt with it is I made a pro and con list of all the good things in my life and the good was much better than the bad. So I decided to suck it up and be happy with the little things in my life. No matter how little. Its all about your attitude. It's hard I know it's easier said than done but just try to be happy with the little things. 30 is the new 20. :)
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linda1958
not thinking straight is a sure sign of bad blues in my books on Jan 15, 2016 @ 05:38 pm

I know this from experience. im 57 now and am feeling my age somewhat, but am more concerned about my weight being over by about 30 big ones and also losing skin and muscle tone to inactivity. like me you feel safest at home so get some sun on your balcony or buy a saads lamps to use for 30 mins a day faithfully and exercise at least 30 minutes 3x a week, stretching, yoga, dancing and stairs all count. like me you made a disastrous financial decision at a time when you had limited financial means that has left you feeling desperate, but rueing about it will not change the past so id say a prayer and be thankful my pet was still alive...enjoy your beautiful cat...have some friends over for a potluck toenail painting party or just buy a series of comedy shows that you enjoy and watch them on your dvd player in the evenings instead of feeling lonely. at 30 you've still got two lifetimes to live and your best years are ahead of you so think pink, smile at the mailman, and thank him next time she delivers your mail and if you think you are acting out of character or feeling emotionally numb talk to your doctor about a mild form of antidepressant for the short term to help get you over your bump in the road. by the time you turn 40 you wont want to be marking milestones that are age related so relax and enjoy the next ten.
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coultlee
Birthday on Jan 15, 2016 @ 07:28 pm

I am 56 almost 57. I understand too. I don't h have many friends mostly from work and just a handful. Most I don't see. I have a close family a precious sister who lost her husband so see her more now. Enjoy your birthday when you can afford it you will have that time away. Your family will understand. I have met awesome people online so great full. Wishing we lived closer I would make sure your birthday was special
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prettyrainbow
30 on Jan 15, 2016 @ 08:06 pm

Hitting 30 is a huge step and I understand completely. I was pretty nervous and scared when I went through it. Not knowing what to expect as you grow older can make anyone anxious, but we have to remember that it's part of the beauty of life.

I'm glad you already got a pretty nice birthday gift, which is your cat being provided with the opportunity to have the surgery he needed. That is such a wonderful thing! Are there any other aspects of your life where good things have been happening? It helps to write them down because when we're anxious our brains tend to only focus on the negatives, but if we wrote the positives down and made them accessible to us on a daily basis, we could change our focus quite a bit.

I know how important it is to have family with you on such a special day. Part of my family lives in Europe and it's so lonely without them, but we always make sure to call or Skype so that they can be part of the day somehow. It doesn't take away the pain completely, but it's what we've got for the moment and we have to make the best of it.

I wish you the very best birthday a girl can have and many great years ahead of you! If no one spoils you, spoil yourself!! You could have your own private pizza party and dancing in the living room...anything that will make your day a little brighter. You deserve it!

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Tracyr
<3 on Jan 15, 2016 @ 08:55 pm

I felt that way when I turned 30 and then again when I turned 40, I know for me both times my husband was my biggest supporter, he made me feel less alone.So maybe all you need is a special dinner or outing with you hubby. Is there any way your family could come visit you or maybe you could Skype with them,Always remember you are a very sweet person and you have all of us Chicks supporting you
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KrissiC
. on Jan 15, 2016 @ 10:53 pm

I wish I lived closer to you! I'd come visit! Not trying to be creepy. Could you invite any friends over? Or is it possible for your parents to visit you? Or you could have a relaxing day at home...have a nice breakfast, long bath, do your hair and makeup fancy, watch a good movie, read a book, spend quality time with hubby? 30 is a wonderful year! I was a bit worried at first but decided instead, to tell myself 30 is a great year...I'm still young and have many more years ahead of me to enjoy and do things that I have always wanted to do. I know it's tough to shift your focus sometimes. Rainbows right, writing down our blessings I a great way to help ourselves out of a funk.

I wish you a wonderful night and I hope you have a great birthday.
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crystaljam
:( on Jan 16, 2016 @ 11:36 am

I hope your husband is able to help plan a nice night for you.

And I'm sure your family understands about your cats' surgery - pets are family too, and I'm sure he is also a great support and calming measure in your life as well.

I probably just went to a restaurant and bowling or something for my 30th.

Do you like playing board games? If so, board game night party at your place would be fun! Make it a potluck and everyone brings their favourite appetizers, and shares.

*hugs*
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wonderwhatif
Martac on Jan 16, 2016 @ 03:07 pm

Thanks for the kind words! I definitely feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one. I know it's silly to feel this way, so I'm gonna try and get through it :P
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wonderwhatif
linda1958 on Jan 16, 2016 @ 03:08 pm

Great advice! Part of the problem is indeed that I suffer from depression and need a change in antidepressants, but I'm on the doctor waiting list so it's a bit frustrating. Thanks for your advice. Trust me I am so grateful for my cat. He's such a sweetheart.
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wonderwhatif
coultlee on Jan 16, 2016 @ 03:12 pm

That's so sweet. I definitely know the feeling of being lonely in spades. In some ways I'm grateful I've had a difficult time, because it taught me compassion and empathy. *hugs* Thank you so much.

Send my thoughts to your sister, I can't imagine the pain of losing your husband.
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