Wedding gifts??

on Oct 17, 2011 @ 08:50 am

I need some
help with this one ladies. First off I haven't bin to a wedding in 18 years and
have no clue what to give. This is the back ground on the couple. This is the
Grooms second marriage the Brides first, they've bin living together for over
two years and have a 18 month old son together. She owned her own home before
they got together and so did he, so they have more then enough items for
they're home. They both have great jobs, so they're not in need of a thing. I
thought about just giving them money in a nice card, but I have no idea how
much would be the right amount to give. They only just made up they're minds to
do this a few weeks ago, we just got the invite last night and the wedding is
on the 5th of Nov!! We were told only about 30 people will be there, so it’s
just going to be small. Both my husband and I had to laugh when we read the
invite because it tells us what time the wedding is and were the dinner that
fallows is, but not where they're getting married at. So you know they made
these invites up really fast. My husband works with the groom, but they're good
friend out side of work as well. I've known the groom for as long as my husband
has, but I've only met his wife to be a few times. We were invited to his first
wedding, but we weren't able to attend that one. So what I need from you ladies
is some thoughts on what would be appropriate to give a couple like this and
should I pick something up for the baby as well?


9 Replies

Can really depend on Oct 17, 2011 @ 10:01 am

You have asked a lot of good questions here, so I'll try to respond one by one:

1. What to get the couple who already has everything?

I think you have 2 choices:

(a) give them cash - a general rule of thumb is to cover the cost of your attendance at the wedding. So if you figure that your meal would be worth $50 per person, you would want to give $50 per person or more. If there's an open bar, calculate a little extra for that. You don't have to follow this guideline, but it's a common one.

(b) get together with other invitees and splash on something bigger. Do they need anything major, like appliances or a new barbeque? What about new luggage for their honeymoon? A hefty gift card from a home improvement store if they're planning any renovations?

DON'T get them a random small appliance or housewares. If your budget is a little smaller and/or you don't have other guests to team up with for a mega gift, find out if they have a gift registry and buy from that list - that will guarantee they'll get something they actually want.

2. Should you buy something for baby?

I would generally say "no". This is their wedding, and it should be about them unless they've specifically asked for baby stuff. If Junior is already 18 months old, they have most of the major purchases covered already anyway (crib, high chair, etc).

Good luck and keep us posted! It's always helpful to have plenty of ideas for wedding gifts and I know many other readers will chime in with their suggestions too.

on Oct 17, 2011 @ 10:33 am

I agree with @mamaluv I don't think it is necessary to buy anything for the baby. Unless it is something small, a cute little 'add-on' type gift.

Seeing that this wedding is so small and rushed, I don't think they can expect too much from you. Especially since there is no registry, that tells me that they are really just excited to get married, they aren't looking for the typical 'big wedding' type of gift. I think it would be totally appropriate to get them something more personal than an appliance etc. since you know them quite well and for a while now.

I like the idea of a gift card from @mamaluv, I think it is appropriate to give cash as well. My family is Italian so I attend a lot of Italian weddings where you almost always give cash because it's also a way to send off the couple, give them a little seed money. Seeing as they don't really need it though, I like the idea of a more personal item, maybe something that means something to the couple?

Thanks ladies on Oct 17, 2011 @ 10:57 am

We have this place in our local mall that does engraving on just about
anything. I was thinking of getting a nice picture frame engraved with
they're names and the wedding date.

They have really nice quality things like sterling silver frames, mugs,
flasks along with other things for men, woman and even babies booty's. Do you guy's think a pic frame would be nice.


Classes- on Oct 17, 2011 @ 11:12 am

I think that's a very cute idea!

I was also looking at Martha Stewart's website for some wedding gift inspiration and she suggests buying the couple classes- she suggested cooking classes but seeing as they are a couple that have lived together etc. they may not need them, still they would fun! What about something fun that they can do together- like dance classes?

That would be a nice gift on Oct 17, 2011 @ 11:51 am

Alex, but not for this couple. I just can't see them doing anything like
that. I also don't think they'd ever be able to fine enough time to do
anything like that. He works out of town so much, I think it would be to
hard for them to do any kind of a class together. Besides he's not the
kind of guy that would go for anything like that even if they did have
the time. But I'll keep this in mind for the next wedding we get invited
So you really think the pic frame would be good, or should I
still put some money in a card along with the gift. I know having the
engraving isn't cheap because I had a flask engraved at this place for
my husbands 50th bday there. From what I can remember with the frame and
all the engraving it would probably come close to what mamluv suggested
to give in money maybe even more.
Like I said they really rushed the
invitations and it doesn't even say if its a cash bar, it just says the
time of the wedding, where the reception is and that the reception
immediately fallows the wedding. It almost sounds like they getting
married at the restaurant where the reception is. They just might be
because I'm sure they couldn't find a church this fast when most people
have to book at least a year ahead of time and the owner of this
restaurant is a very good friend of the grooms.
I don't know about
you but I hate it when I'm rushed and this makes me feel rushed. I like
to put a lot of thought into things especially things like this. Next
time I see him I'm going to have to give him a smack.LOL

Picture is Perfect! on Oct 19, 2011 @ 09:45 am

I agree this wedding seems super rushed! But, it being his second wedding and after living together and having a child together maybe they feel like the traditional route isn't necessary for them?

In any case, because they didn't give you much time or any pointers, I really think that you shouldn't be killing yourself trying to get them something.

If the engraved frame is fairly pricey, then I wouldn't worry about giving something extra. Your gift is personal, from the heart and appropriate!

(Though Martha Stewart may not approve- if you feel like you are too busy, go ahead and give cash! They rushed things and you're a lady on the go!)

Wedding Gifts on Nov 08, 2011 @ 07:14 pm

Personally most of the weddings I have ever gone to I have always given cash, as that is customary where I am from, and of course depending on the venue that would determine how much it would be - as the previous poster said if you are giving cash you always want to cover at least the cost of your plate which depending on the venue can range from $50-$100

This one is a little tricky because of the timeline - but I think I would go with the cash maybe a little small sentimental gift (does not have to be expensive - but should have some sentimental value)

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Gift on Dec 19, 2011 @ 09:32 am

Hey! So i saw this REALLY cute idea on the Pinterest website. What it was, was a nice wicker basket with maybe 5 or 6 manila (sp?) envelopes stacked in it. Each one was labelled with a month, and inside contained a pre-paid ''date night". For example, a Gift Card for a restaurant, or movie gift certificates or tickets to a play, etc. I just thought it was SUCH a unique idea!!! And who wouldnt love GC's to places?! hehe

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