When will things ever feel normal again?


charbella2
on Feb 03, 2016 @ 11:42 pm

I lost my mother to a brain tumour a few years ago. She was so healthy and one day she woke up with a headache and was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer and we were told she wouldn't make it past 6 months. She had a stroke during surgery to try and remove the tumour to buy her time and she became paralyzed. I moved home to care for her after just graduating college. It was so hard seeing her that way and seeing how my dad treated her. He would mess up her meds and just seemed like he didn't want to fight for her. I saw a new side to him and I felt like I lost my dad too because he become so different. My mom lived 8 months then died at home. She was my everything and such an amazing woman. I miss her so much and I wish my daughter could have met her. Nothing is the same. I had the family everyone wants to just a dad that lies, drinks and smokes. I can't bring my daughter to his house. Does it ever get easier? Just thinking of my mom makes me cry.
 


5 Replies


Milushka
Even though it's hard, things will get better. on Feb 03, 2016 @ 11:52 pm

I'm sorry to hear about your story... and I know it's very hard to lose a loved one. During these times life gets very hard on you, and for me, I usually want to just stop feeling. But then you remember those people who wouldn't want you to be upset or stop life in general if they were to be gone. I'm sure your mother loved you a lot, and even though it's very hard to do so, I'm pretty sure your mom would only want the best for you and for you to be happy. I'm not saying to cut out all of the sadness, but celebrate your mother's life everyday, as she's a part of you. Death in general never becomes "okay", and this has to be accepted, but life is beautiful, yours and those who have passed.


On the topic of your father, maybe talk to him? If he doesn't wish to change for the better after a long while, you may have to consider in the lack of a better term, cut ties with him. If he's not benefiting you, or doesn't wish to, it's up to you to decide whether or not to keep him in your life.

Good luck with everything, dear!
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prettyrainbow
. on Feb 03, 2016 @ 11:59 pm

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You've definitely have had a lot of weight to bear on your young shoulders and it must have been heart shattering not only to see your mom suffering, but to see this new and negative side to your dad. I think he was probably trying to reject what the illness was doing to the family and not necessarily your mother. We all have our ways of dealing with the grief of seeing our loved ones suffering. Don't give up on him. He lost a big part of his life in the cruelest way possible and so quickly too. When our loved ones are at rock bottom is when we need to love them most. Remember that his new behavior is a cry for help. I would suggest you and your siblings, if you have any, talk to him and let him know how you feel about everything that has happened and offer the support he needs to go back to being able to function the way he once did. Talking to a professional can also help. There could also be signs of depression, which would be common after something like this happens. It's an uphill climb, but with a strong support system, anything is possible. All the best to you and your family. I hope you all have better days ahead.
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charbella2
. on Feb 04, 2016 @ 10:44 am

Thanks do the support ladies. I appreciate it. I will just take one day at a time and try and remember all the good times with my mom.
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prettyrainbow
. on Feb 04, 2016 @ 11:22 am

Keep celebrating the life your mom lived and carry on her traditions. It's the best way to heal and come to terms with what she went through. Your mom will always be with you in spirit and she'll shine through your actions towards others, in this case with the way you handle the situation with your dad. How would she have gone about it? Would she have shown compassion towards him during his hardships? He may not have handled his part in this well, but you have the possibility to do better for the sake of your mom. I'm sure you'll make her proud!
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wonderwhatif
No experience on Feb 04, 2016 @ 01:28 pm

I have no experience with this and absolutely dread the day I will have, but they do say time heals all wounds.

Just want you to know that I'm sending you healing thoughts and I'm so sorry for your loss. Lots of love and hugs <3
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