Would you change your name if/when you get married?

on Mar 29, 2009 @ 10:15 pm

I meant to assume my husband's name when I got married 2 years ago. But I needed to apply for my marriage certificate and I kept procrastinating on it because I couldn't do it online. (I had to use a good old envelope with a real stamp and send the application form by snail mail. *gasp*) Anyway, I haven't gotten around to do it yet even though I have all the papers I need.

Any thoughts on this? I would love hear what makes some of you say yay/nay on this name change thing. :)

19 Replies

Ali de Bold
Depends on the name ;) on Mar 29, 2009 @ 11:45 pm

I respect both choices. What made the decision for me was:

* de Bold is such a cool last name.

* I didn't want our kids to have hyphenated names

I did the paperwork right away, but I'm the sort who likes to get things done rather than think about how I should do them.

IMO on Mar 30, 2009 @ 11:26 am

I don't think I'd ever change my last name (even though it's long and greek lol). I look at it like this...when you get married you are not becoming a different person and it would make me feel like a loss of self or a loss of identity.

i like being me on Mar 30, 2009 @ 12:54 pm

silvercity, I know how you feel. I really like being me and I like my name. Part of me wanted to change my name because I want our family to have the same name, esp. when we have kids. And like misschickie, I wouldn't want to hyphenate our kids names.

But now that I have a baby, I still want to change my name for the family...However! my baby takes up so much of my time and energy. I feel like I'm losing myself while being a mom. So keeping my own name feels more important than ever.

Anyway, for me, it's still a coin toss. I'm a big procrastinator on stuff like this...so I'm taking my time to think this through... :P

... on Mar 30, 2009 @ 02:08 pm

Besides doing it "for the family" is there another reason to change your name right now? I really don't see a point at this stage of the game....also why doesn't your husband change his last name to yours?? Why do you HAVE to change it to his?

so complex on Mar 30, 2009 @ 02:37 pm

I have always thought that when I get married, I will change my name to my husbands. I have never thought of it as a big deal. I mean, you don't change as a person just because your name changes on paper right?

It is such a complex issue though. I mean there is no reason to change your name just because its always been done that way ... just because something has always been done one way, doesn't mean its right, you know?

I think its always a complex issue no matter who the person is, and who their family is. I think when I get married I will change my name. But that decision also makes me a little sad, because I am one of three girls, and my dad was the only boy in his family. So my choice to change my name could effectively end my family name (assuming my sisters also change theirs). I think its a very tricky decision, and you're smart to make the choice thoughtfully.

I also agree with misschicke, it totally depends on the name (you know that segment on Leno with the people in the paper who SO shouldn't have hyphenated their names? lol). As a lighter sidenote in my case, I am going to be a teacher, and my boyfriends name is WAY easier for little kiddies to say than mine ha ha

Changing my name on Mar 30, 2009 @ 03:46 pm

I'm getting married in October and am going to change my name. My fiance wants me to do it and I've always assumed I would anyway. I guess we're both traditional in that sense.

In addition, the spelling of my maiden name has always been misspelled, even when I say it out loud&slowly or when I write it out for someone. It's always incorrect. My fiance's last name is only two letters long, so much harder to misspell.

I agree however that the task is a bit daunting and troublesome. Changing your name on your drivers license and passport is a given. But to change all my emails and business cards and credit cards, etc. That'll be a bit much.

to each their own on Mar 30, 2009 @ 04:10 pm

I'm not sure why, but I've always thought I would keep my last name. I grew up in a traditional family, and I'm certainly not one to fight the system just on principle so I'm not sure where this idea came from.. I think it's because I just really like my name! Plus I've spent 30 years with this name, it would be weird to change it now.

But then again, maybe I'll change my mind one day when I meet Mr. Right... stranger things have happened!

It's whatever you and your partner feel comfortable with, these days I think just about anything goes.

Hard to say... on Mar 30, 2009 @ 08:38 pm

I can't imagine having anyone else's last name right now. Perhaps this is because I am not looking to marry anyone anytime soon. My last name feels like part of my identity.

Eventually maybe if I do meet the right person, I would consider changing my last name. Who really knows?

I used to have a teacher (who was married) back in high school who didn't change her last name. When she was asked by students she would say that she didn't think it was right for women to have to change their last name; as if they belonged to their husbands.

I guess it really is all up to each individual person and how cool the last name is (your own or theirs) ;-p


.... on Mar 30, 2009 @ 10:24 pm

I can't fathom getting married, but stranger things have been known to happen :-) soooo if i ever do, I don't think i'll change my name. My name is a part of me, something I got from my dad, and is a part of what builds my identity - at least thats how i feel. Even if i wasn't so attached to my name and didn't attach my name to my heritage, roots and my family, I still wouldn't change my lastname. I wouldn't want to surrender that much of myself to someone else.


to each their own... on Mar 30, 2009 @ 10:39 pm

I agree with mckchick....I think to each their own when it comes to taking on, hyphenating or keeping your last name if you get married.

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