on Jul 27, 2016 @ 03:48 am|
We, as a society, body shame others and ourselves. Others body shame us.
Too fat, too thin, too androgynous, too much makeup, flat chested, big breasted, women with too defined muscles, too short, too tall, spare tire, she has such a pretty face and she'd be pretty if only she wasn't fat, women shouldn't have short hair - it's not womanly enough, don't breastfeed in public because it's gross, she doesn't breastfeed so she's a bad mom, dressing too young for your age, dressing too dowdy, she needs a nose job, she had a nose job so she's plastic, she doesn't shave under her arms, you're nothing unless you're a size 2, she's beautiful so she must be vapid and dumb, she's a brainiac so she's not sexy, your skin isn't dark enough, your skin is too dark, her clothes are too tight, don't wear a bikini if you're not stick thin, stretch marks are ugly, she wears a hijab or burqa so she must be a slave to her husband, she's so skinny she must be anorexic, etc etc etc.
Instead, let's be kind to each other and to ourselves! No more body shaming or hating on other women OR OURSELVES. Instead let's embrace our uniqueness and love our bodies, even the parts we consider to be flawed.
For me, I am tough on myself because my stomach is no longer flat after having two (huge) kids, and it will never be flat again. I have stretch marks from pregnancy. Instead I'm thankful I was able to get pregnant when other women long to have children and they can't. My legs are hairier than the average woman. I remove hair from my thighs and my husband lovingly pokes fun that I grow hair even on my knees! Instead of being embarrassed, I'm thankful I have legs and that I can use them.
I've decided that I'm not going to allow those things to bother me anymore. This body has allowed me to grow two great (and large) kids. The stretch marks on my breasts from getting really big really fast & then becoming less firm and perky is a natural result of aging and of being able to breastfeed my children, give them nourishment and have such a wonderful bonding experience that others cannot experience. My hairy thighs are genetic (thanks French grandma!) and I'm not going to feel ashamed about them anymore. I'm still going to remove the hair but I'm doing it for me, not to meet today's beauty standards. I'm grateful for the multiple scars on my body. They are a result of removing suspicious moles that could have been cancerous and thankfully were not. I've embraced my inner snow white because I don't want to get skin cancer by tanning. I'm not going to feel bad about having pale skin. I'm not going to spend hours fighting my thick, naturally wavy hair and frying it to achieve pin straight hair. I've realized my natural waves actually look quite pretty if I stop using hair straightening products.
Tell me how you feel about body / women shaming. Have you been guilty shaming others? Have you been shamed? What do you hate about yourself that you can let go of and embrace instead? How can you be kinder to yourself and your body?
Tell me your thoughts ladies!
|. on Jul 27, 2016 @ 12:26 pm|
Wow, great way to think about things. Love your positive perspective! There are lots of videos that Dove puts on YouTube that you would probably love, they touch on this same subject and try to promote women loving their bodies and themselves as a whole instead of tearing themselves apart.
I don't feel like I shame others, but I think I am my own worst critic. I often look at others and wish I had what they have, or look at other women and wish I had their body instead of my own. I definitely am too hard on myself and should try to start thinking more positive about myself and about my body. I often stand on the scale or look in the mirror and criticize myself, especially my body, and tell myself that I'm not doing good enough, but I really shouldn't do that. I started eating much healthier and exercising more in the beginning of May, and have lost 10 lbs so far. Instead of tearing myself down and telling myself I need to do better, I should celebrate my accomplishments. Not only the changes to the looks of my body, but how much healthier, and stronger I feel now.
|@atsirk on Jul 27, 2016 @ 12:53 pm|
Thanks for sharing! I really enjoyed reading your post.
I like the Dove commercials, especially about the androgynous model that everyone thinks is a boy. They're really inspiring and empowering. Like you, I'm my own worst critic and constantly look at other women and envy their bodies. But in truth, they likely do the same thing! I hate stepping on the scale. I would much rather con entrate on how my body feels and how my clothes fit than those stupid numbers!!!
Kudos to you for the 10lb loss. It sounds as though you worked hard to attain that healthier approach and that you feel so much better and stronger! Way to go!
|... on Jul 27, 2016 @ 06:28 pm|
I don't really feel ashamed of my body although I know I am slightly overweight. But I feel good in my skin and I feel sexy most of the time.
What really worries me if how my daughter is growing with all these stereotypes and how women are suppose to look. It's very hard.
|@yoanella on Jul 27, 2016 @ 11:33 pm|
I so agree with you on this! Our daughters face so much more pressure as teens than ever before. It scares me how many girls develop eating disorders because they want to achieve a certain look. It makes me sad.
|Amen on Jul 28, 2016 @ 12:32 pm|
Wow! What an inspiring, uplifting post.
I too use to be my own worst critic, fuelled by comments from others. However, since becoming a mom I've really come in my own and feel the most happy and comfortable I've ever felt, inside and out. No I don't look like the so call ideal or even like what I use to in the past. But I am glad because I've changed and grown so much and that is reflected in me.
|... on Jul 28, 2016 @ 04:52 pm|
Sometimes it's very hard not to feel bad about yourself, especially when you were used to be very skinny in the past. You don't recognize yourself with your new body anymore. It takes a lot of courage and time. Thanks for this post.
|. on Jul 28, 2016 @ 06:05 pm|
Growing older gave me an appreciation for my body that I wasn't even aware of in my younger years. I think this came about because of maturity and all that my body has had to endure and surpass throughout the years. Although I don't have the muscles of a warrior, I've earned the right to feel like one and if someone out there looks at my body and sees something that doesn't please them, well that's too bad. Every bump and curve is mine and I may not be the cookie cutter model the media and fashion industry want me to be, but I would not change it for anything in the world. I'll continue to celebrate exactly who I am. I also know that I have the ability to change and evolve, so when and if the time is right, I can lose the extra pounds or dye my hair if it pleases me. I'll never do it to please others because they don't own me.
Amazing post! It's great to be reminded of this positive message, especially in today's world. Thank you for sharing your perspective and inspiring us to do the same!