Vasectomy or Tubal Ligation

on Apr 10, 2012 @ 09:42 am

There comes a time in our life's when we know we don't want any more children. I was wonder what you would do. Would your husband have a vasectomy, or would he say no way you do it?
There was no way my husband was going under the knife the big baby, so I had to have my tubs tied. How ever both of my brother's were good boys and saved they're wife's from having the surgery. It took a lot of convincing, but they both did finally do it. I find it a bit funny that all three of us did it and our partners didn't, but that's just the kind of people we are. Were also all Gemini's, but that's another story.

So what would you do, or have you already done it? 

14 Replies

Fair's fair on Apr 10, 2012 @ 10:55 am

First off, my hubby is the one who took it for the team. My expectation all along had been that if I was going to bear the children on the front end, he should step up and take care of things on the back end. I think a lot of people would agree with me there. He wasn't excited about the prospect but never gave me grief about it either.

During my last delivery, it went to an emergency C-section (had delivered normally the other times), so while I was open there on the operating table the doctors asked me if I wanted them to quickly do the tubal. I wish now that I had said yes because I was already cut open and in retrospect it seems needless that my hubby had to go under the knife, BUT it was the wrong time to ask me and I wasn't in the right state of mind to make the decision. We had talked about stopping after 3 kids but were not at a final decision at that point so it was too soon.

So having said that, I think IF the opportunity presents itself and IF mom and dad are sure about their choice, there's no reason why the woman shouldn't go ahead and have her tubes tied. However, if it's an elective procedure I would say it's better the man have a vasectomy. The chances of reversal surgery are better (as far as I've heard) and it's less invasive than the tubal ligation. Boys, it's time to man up (pun intended)! :)

Wow mamaluv!! on Apr 10, 2012 @ 11:24 am

When I asked my Dr to do me while I was having my last baby he said no.
He told me he wouldn't do it until the baby was at least four months old
just in case he died on us. He said he use to, but babies died and more
often then not the parents want another one after wards, but it was to
late. So he stopped doing it on the table back in the seventies. I agree
with you that more men should step up after every thing we go through
especially if we have c-sections. My c-section went wrong and I ended up with a
bad infection, so it was a really bad time for me. I believe you are right about it being easier for a man
to have a reversal done. My tubes were burnt not just cut and tied, so
there's no way I could have a reversal done even if I want it, witch I
don't. We also don't have to pay for any of this out of pocket in
Canada. We do pay its just from the amount of taxes we pay for every
thing else. I guess it really just depends on where you live and your
personal feeling on the subject. I do think more men are stepping up now
a days compared to years ago, witch is a good thing.


My husband on Apr 10, 2012 @ 06:11 pm

C-sections sound like no fun! Before I did my obstetrics rotation, I actually kept saying I'd PREFER a c-section just because I was terrified of pushing, tearing, etc. But after seeing a few vaginal births and a c-section first hand, I realized no situation is really ideal. haha So I guess whatever will be will be. Anyways, so sorry you both had those experiences!

My husband has already told me that when the time comes many years from now and we decide not to have children, he'll take care of it for us. He doesn't want me to have unnecessary surgery. I think I'm fortunate in that his dad did the same thing so he was taught well! That said, just like mamaluv was saying, if I'm already there then perhaps I'd go for a tubal ligation.

Loving Hubby on Apr 10, 2012 @ 06:19 pm

My husband had no problem getting the "snip" he said that I did all the hard work...twice that I had been thru enough, it was his turn. he was in and out of the hospital in a few hrs, spent a few days on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on his crotch! lol Hes such a good guy!! I know ALOT of guys refuse, they think it takes away there man hood! silly boys!! lol

Ali de Bold
Nice guys on Apr 11, 2012 @ 08:11 am

I really admire men who step up and do this. It makes sense for the woman to do it if it's during a cesarean or something, but going through pregnancy and child birth is a lot so it's nice if he can 'take one for the team'.

You guy's are lucky on Apr 11, 2012 @ 09:05 am

My guy is one of those that thinks it will take away from his man hood,
silly I know. Its not like anyone will know unless he tells them. Some
guy's can just be so silly when it comes to things like this. Although I
really did find my surgery to be that big of a deal. I was home the
same day and fine the next, but I also went through hell with my
c-section, so this was nothing to me. I have a pretty high pain
tolerance, so that could be another reason why it didn't bother me so
much. I just knew after all the hell both of my boys put me through, one
of us was getting done and if he wasn't I was!!LOL


we already discussed this... on Apr 11, 2012 @ 11:19 am

My hubby and I were actually talking about this not to long ago. we have just started having kids but I wanted to know what he thought about it, he actually volenteered to have it done. I however do not because his sister cannot have kids she has no uterous therefore the only way for her to have any is to adopt or have one via surragate however they will not let you be a surragate untill you are sure you are done having kids. I figure if im done anyways and I can do somthing like that for them why not? I love being a mom how can I not try to help someone that cant.

You are a great Sister-in-law! on Apr 11, 2012 @ 11:40 am

Wow, Kaitlin, you are an amazing SIL! After several women close to me suffered some miscarriages I considered offering myself as a surrogate too, but then both of them were able to have healthy pregnancies shortly afterward so I was off the hook. I was nervous that I'd have problems with bonding (that is, I would feel a very strong connection to Baby) and it'd be difficult for me to distance myself later (from a mother figure to "just" an Auntie) so it's probably for the best.

the Big V all the way!!! on Apr 16, 2012 @ 09:37 am

My husband was the type to say nope not doing it, however after our second son was born he said ok I'm doing it! Well we booked the appointment went to the doctors to talk about it...the doc said 10 mins you'll be in and out (unless you have scar tissue or something else wrong with the area and need to be put asleep)!!! The big V day came and let me tell you 10 mins is all it is!! I got to watch the whole procedure and it's not as horrible as every male out there thinks it is!! My husband talked to me the whole time and from start to finish it was the 10 mins!! Have it done Friday go home and cozy up to some peas for a day or two and you'll be back to work on Monday!! I'm very thankful to my husband for stepping up for this part of our lives!

I agree with the V on Apr 16, 2012 @ 12:23 pm

My husband also went in for a vasectomy after our second was born. It wasn't even a question for him who would go get "fixed". I mean, for me, it's quite a major surgery; for him, while painful, it's a quick 10 minute in office procedure.

What struck both of us was how many men he knows were aghast at the notion of him actually "sacrificing his manhood". I mean, who would do that? He's an awesome guy though and was totally disgusted by how many times he heard "Why doesn't she just go get her tubes tied?".. Uh, because a vasectomy is a quick in office procedure, you sit on some frozen peas for the weekend and all is well.

I must say he was one of the ones who took a bit longer and required an extra stitch and he did end up getting an infection about a week later. Some antibiotics cleared that up though.


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