well this is embaressing...

on Apr 06, 2009 @ 06:44 pm

Well..... okkk....... ummm.... me and my bf have been "trying" to have sex... we have tried like 4 timess!!!!! with lube and every thing!!!!! but it wont go in.... i've been stressing about it because he's blaming himself !! I dont know why we cant do it!!

3 Replies

help him out on Apr 07, 2009 @ 12:26 am

It is very important that he is hard, that's all he really needs to do and you need to make sure that you are relaxed because those muscles can be strong! It won't necessarily go right in either, just take it slow. You need to help guide him in to your body. First thing first, make sure you are ready to commit to each other in this way; it really will change things and you need to make sure you are both in a mature age to really enjoy this part of a relationship. Wear a condom!

Ali de Bold
Are you a virgin? on Apr 07, 2009 @ 12:57 pm

If this is your first time, that would explain the difficulty. Also, I second what Anonymous said about commitment and maturity. I realize this may make me come off as an old lady and a prude, but you really shouldn't have sex until you are at least 18. Even that can be too young in my opinion. I don't know how old you are, but from the nature of your question I'm guessing you are quite young.

I know the hormones are raging and boys may be pressuring, but getting pregnant or an STD, not to mention the emotional damage that can result from premature sex are not worth it. If you are young as I am guessing, keep sex out of it and focus on having fun and getting to know each other.

... on Apr 07, 2009 @ 12:57 pm

are you a virgin? If so, you should expect things to be tricky at first. I wouldn't beat myself up about it too much. Lube and all that is fine and good, but if you're all clenched up inside, he won't be able to fit in. If you do have experience, maybe you need to think about why you are so nervous about having sex with him. You may not think you are, but if you're truly ready to sleep with him there should be little reason for tightening up.

If you are of age (!) I would suggest a glass of wine beforehand to loosen up. It'll take away some anxiety and remove some of your inhibitions. The more aroused you are, the easier things will go. Being worried about past "failures" is guaranteed to make you close up.

If you are not of age to drink, you should consider doing other things for a while - become comfortable with each other and find out what each of you like. Excitement is the first step to opening up and your natural lube (sorry if that's too graphic!) is so much better than the chemical kinds. I always find that they sting, actually.

While condoms are absolutely crucial, they will make things trickier because of the barrier. A lubricated variety is a good place to start - you can always try the dry kind as you get more experienced.

Most of all, both of you need to stop blaming yourselves. When it's right, it will work. As soon as you stop stressing about it you'll find all obstacles sort themselves out. :)

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