First Child vs. Second or More

on May 25, 2016 @ 11:54 am

Sometimes I feel so guilty that with my first child I documented every aspect of her life with photos, letters, calendars, journals, a baby book, handprints, baby's "firsts", special outfits, bills and coins from the year she was born, artwork, schoolwork and parties, etc. My youngest child got the short end of the stick. Did I get too busy or lazy??? I have a bag of fabric from favorite outfits that I intended to make into a quilt, tons of digital photos but not professional photos done every two months during the first few years of his life like I did with his sister. I do have a baby book for him but it's only got a few pages full. Has anyone else done this with second or more children? Is it just because life is a lot busier with more than one child? Thoughts?

6 Replies

. on May 25, 2016 @ 12:22 pm

I am the youngest child and I sometimes feel a bit sad that there aren't so many pictures of me as there are of my older sister (first born). Something for sure is that if I ever have kids of my own some day, I want to document everything for them, because the moments are still special kids do realise this when they are older. My mom is the second child of her family and she has 0 baby pictures. Absolutely nothing, she has no idea what she looked like as a baby.

Don't Feel Guilty on May 25, 2016 @ 05:18 pm

I must have seen this scenario a million times. I'm the youngest child and I don't feel at all bad that my brother has more photos and etc than me.
The reason is because when we grown up older, I'm the one that got everything because I'm the youngest. haha He has to give up a lot for me because I"m the the younger one. :)

I think with first born, it's your first child (only at the time) so most people are more excited and wants to give the first child everything. It doesn't mean that you don't love or care for your second child equally. It's just with 2 or more kids, money could be a bit tighter as well. It's pretty common that the older one gets everything when they are born and the second child gets hand me downs. It's okay, don't feel guilty. They youngest will always be the baby now matter how old they are. I love being the youngest. :) It all equals out at the end of the day.

What's important is that you show them that you love both of them equally as they are growing up. That way they will grow loving each other. :)

. on May 25, 2016 @ 08:40 pm

I agree with jujusamples response :) as long as you love all of your children equally, that's what matters most. It's best to not overthink the situation!

... on May 25, 2016 @ 08:45 pm

No need for guilt or regret. I'm fairly positive that most of us went all out for our first. I did. It does not mean we love the others any less. It's simply that the first will always be special because with that birth we became a mom. In most families I know you will see more items saved, pics, etc. Just enjoy and love them all, without guilt.

I've tried on May 26, 2016 @ 12:33 am

I've surely tried to keep up on all the documentation a
But not nearly as much as I'd like to.

. on May 26, 2016 @ 12:49 am

Thanks ladies. I certainly love both of my kids equally - and there is a 12 year age difference between them so it's like having two only children or two first born children in some ways. My first born is 20 and my baby is 8. I find life is just sooooo much busier now than when it was just me and my daughter (I was a solo parent with her; I had her when I was just 18). I have TONS of digital pics of my son whereas my daughter's pics were printed and put in albums. I did one scrapbook for my son but I just don't have the time to do it these days. My daughter's baby book is filled to the brim and my son's is barely filled out! With my first baby things were so brand new I wanted to capture every single moment on film. I am embarrassed to admit that I have never thrown a birthday party for my son. Let me rephrase because that's not exactly true. He's had birthday parties with family and family friends every year but never a kids only birthday party. His birthday is on New Year's Day and no one is ever available. I can't do it before NYD because everyone is busy with Christmas and kids are out of school until the second week in January and by that time everyone wants to relax after a busy holiday season as well as recover financially from overspending. This year I promised myself I would organize a kids party after kids returned to school but again, busy schedules and lack of funds from Christmas got in the way. I feel like the worst mother ever! He's always had a great birthday party with our friends and family but it's just not the same. I think I'm going to throw him a huge party this summer to make up for all the missed parties. It will be his half birthday party! Does anyone have kids with Christmas or NYE/ NYD birthdays? Or on any holiday? What do you do?

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