Keeping my patience through the 2s...


LosingMyMarbles13
on Jul 07, 2013 @ 08:33 pm


My youngest daughter is driving me nuts. My oldest has always been an easy girl, but now I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. Potty training has been a joke, she's good with everyone but me. All day she'll go at daycare but the moment we come home she's wetting her pants. Even after I put her on the potty. She's whining about everything, and I try to keep my patience but a lot of the time I'm putting her in her room and walking away because I just don't know what to do. I'll try to interact with her but she sometimes just wants me to leave her alone. I just want to cry while typing this. Her dad is military so I don't get a break much. I get two nights a month if I'm lucky that she'll sleep over at her grandparent's. Hiring a babysitter isn't easy either since I'm on a tight budget.

Anyone have any suggests about keeping calm through these trying times or what I can do with her to make sure she's happy but not getting spoiled?
 


3 Replies


xhiao1994
this little trick works for me. on Jul 10, 2013 @ 10:19 am

i dont have a daughter yet, but i am proud to say that i have a lil nephew that i myself trained!
you are much like of my sister and like other mother, really thinks practical... but the trick it to think magical. yes! magical. no worries, you dont need magic wand on this trick.

i was 18 then when i trained my nephew. the solution is to lie to them. i mean, not really lie to them bad, but... lets say, white lie :)

if there is a tooth fairy, there is also a POTTY fairy.

trained my nephew in way where in i tell her that if she pee/poop on the right place, the fairy will be happy and then give her treats when she does. she actually believes it.

but for other mom's who trained real early, the kids wont understand that so good luck to you. i hope my tricky trick helps.
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mamaluv
I feel your pain! on Jul 10, 2013 @ 10:41 am

@LosingMyMarbles (and I love your screen name, by the way, because I feel the same way most days!), I have been there! I have 3 kids and my first child was a very easygoing kid. My 2nd is very energetic and loves to push boundaries. My 3rd is still deciding which example to follow.

Many times I've put myself in time-out, knowing that remaining in the situation would result in me losing my cool. Many times I've cried tears of frustration, tears of feeling like I'm doing a bad job of parenting.

But I'm lucky because my husband is around most of the time. He travels quite a lot for business, but nothing like a military commitment must be like. I am far away from family and many of my friends here have families of their own, so finding a sitter (and paying for one!) can be a challenge.

In my experience there are tricks that work, tricks that work for a short period of time, tricks that work on one kid but not another, and tricks that don't work whatsoever. I've received advice from moms & grandmas, watched SuperNanny and Dr Phil, read books, googled, etc etc, but ultimately it's just a phase that most of us have to work through and do our best.

In my case, our struggle was that #2 wouldn't stay in bed at night. He's a little older now, and while the night stuff is now resolved, he likes to assert his opinion in other ways.

My encouragement to you is:

1) you are trying your best. No one is a perfect mother. No one can keep calm through every situation. Anyone who wants to tell you otherwise is full of sh*t. Kids are little people, not trainable pets. They have opinions, and some of them are more assertive than others.

2) "this too shall pass". I promise that the issues you're facing today will go away. They will probably be replaced by new issues, but I find that at least changing the topic of the issue gives me hope.

3) acting sweet at daycare and then acting up at home is NORMAL. Kids feel safe in their home environment, and sometimes the pent-up stress of behaving nicely at school leads to what I call "emotional diarrhea" at home. It would be more concerning to me if your child acted a certain way in EVERY situation, pointing toward perhaps a behavioral or medical issue. The fact that she can act a certain way at daycare proves that she CAN. She just doesn't want to do this full time. And really, even adults are pleasant at work but grouchy at home.

4) there are a lot of moms here on ChickAdvisor. We've all been there, and we all feel your pain! Feel free to come and vent anytime you need to.

*hugs*
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Ali de Bold
Same age on Jul 10, 2013 @ 09:32 pm

My boy is just entering the 2s. He's a really great kid but is now testing his boundaries and the nanny says he behaves differently when we are around (more likely to act up or get whiny) than when it's just the two of them. I have found that he has his best behaviour when he feels he is getting enough attention from me. If I'm distracted on my phone or computer he is more likely to whine or do something he knows he's not supposed to do. Every kid is different though and I don't think there is any one size fits all solution. What I like to do when he is behaving like that is to try to change his mood. I will tickle him and make him laugh or distract him with an activity. At this age the brain is still rapidly developing and the logic element isn't really there yet. A friend of mine forwarded an article here I found really helpful. It explains who toddlers throw tantrums and that it is actually very normal. I highly encourage you give it a read. Good luck with your little one!


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