Mommy help


1buzzer
on May 26, 2016 @ 09:10 pm

Hi I have 3 boys who are very far apart in age. My youngest is 14 months and I am very concerned he isn't talking and making eye contact he will go out of his way to avoid eye contact. He otherwise is very healthy never had any concerns. So seeing as this is such hey just google it era of course that's what I do. Autism. Although the idea is very frightening to me I keep thinking of how life itself is so hard going through it with autism that is going to be so hard for my little guy who is so beautiful he laughs all the time and has a great sense of humour he just screams terrible high screeching sounds that actually make your ears bleed. I have spoken to the dr who seems to be one of those lets just see if things change. I have had 2 other boys and they were talking more and the screeching it is awful has anyone dealt with anything like this?
 


9 Replies


Anonymous
..... on May 26, 2016 @ 10:07 pm

You obviously have concerns so my thought is that your doctor should have suggested for you to seek advice from any number of agencies that are there to help people adjust,understand,cope,and even become part of a group that are experiencing what you are. Good luck to you
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prettyrainbow
. on May 27, 2016 @ 12:58 am

It's normal to be frightened but coming here asking for advice was a great step in the right direction. I'm a special needs teacher and the advice I can give you is to get a second opinion as soon as possible. From what you describe, your child does seem to have some symptoms that are common with the autism spectrum, but since it is such a large umbrella of a disorder, you can't be entirely sure before you get a proper diagnosis. It could also be something else entirely, but it's best to be sure.

The dilemma here is that doctors/specialists usually prefer to wait until the child is 18-24 months before starting to diagnose for autism. However, the earlier you begin treatment, the better the possibility you'll have in being able to reduce the severity of symptoms, which is crucial. If you can get that second opinion, it could open up doors to getting him the help he needs now, and potentially get him on the very long waiting list much sooner.

I've provided a link for you to look over. What I would suggest you do is to start keeping an observation journal of his development and any behaviours he does or doesn't exhibit. Write down the date, and the circumstances surrounding the situation. Be as specific as possible. When you see your pediatrician, have him/her read over the journal to get a better picture of what your child is dealing with. Since the doctor isn't in your home to see the symptoms in action 24/7, the notes could be of immense help in diagnosing him properly and quickly.

Here is the link I spoke about earlier. I really hope it helps:

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/autism/autism-symptoms-and-early-signs.htm

I hope you keep us updated on the prognosis. I will do my best to help out with any tips you may need. The best of luck to you!

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prettyrainbow
. on May 27, 2016 @ 01:08 am

On an added note, you should also ask your pediatrician to test your child's eyesight and hearing, as well, to rule out any problems in those areas. I just thought of a student who was deaf and wasn't giving eye contact because he didn't know he was being spoken to.

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1buzzer
Thanks on May 27, 2016 @ 10:16 am

Thanks pretty rainbow the Dr did try to push of anything I said and made me feel embarrassed for having the thought something wasn't right as hard as it is for me to come to terms with any type of diagnosis it seems they are in denial I am going to try to book another appointment and see what comes of it I live in a small town which limits the other Dr option I will take a look at the link thanks for ur support
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prettyrainbow
. on May 29, 2016 @ 02:51 am

No problem! It's a shame the doctor made you feel this way, especially for such a serious concern. I'm glad you're keeping your options opened and wish you the best of luck in finding the right pediatrician who will take the required time to have your child tested. No one and nothing is a match to a mother's instinct, so if something in your gut is telling you that your child needs help, then listen to it and do what needs to be done to get through this. It can be a heck of a journey, but you'll be rewarded eventually. Don't give up!

In terms of the screeching issue, have you tried teaching your son baby sign language? It can help in getting him to communicate certain needs to you. As he gets older, you can/should use visuals like happy and sad faces to praise or remind him on how to behave. The reasons behind his screeching are many. Like I said, keeping a detailed journal with what happened before the action occurred can shine a light on any patterns that keep reoccurring. Is he seeking attention? Is he bored and is just using his voice as a form of stimulation? Is he trying to avoid something or someone? Is he in pain? Children with ASD can also have heightened sensory disorders as well - loud noises bother them as do different textures, scents, etc...). Are you noticing any of this throughout the day? Observe what those patterns are and train yourself to differentiate the types of screeches or screams. When he's in pain or in need of something is it more high pitched?

If he's just trying to get your attention by screaming, then you'll want to ignore the behaviour, however difficult it may seem at first, and only address him when he is calm. Then show him an alternate way of getting your attention, like with sign language. Wait until he stops the behaviour then use the sign to show him "QUIET". Keep waiting and signing until he stops the screeching and finally reward the good behaviour with an excited expression, a squeaky toy or clapping. It's going to take time and patience, but if you're consistent, it will get easier. Hang in there!


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1buzzer
Not much of an update... update on Jun 06, 2016 @ 05:01 pm

Thanks for the tips I spoke with sprouting speeches where I live they told me a 4-6 month wait just for an assessment I am so sad about this he is missing so much. I have tried some signing but he won't look at me I think even if my hair was on fire. He is starting to do the yelling whenever he sees fit which has been while going through a checkout line a few times and I price match a lot. Or at the bank or when we were out at restaurant. It's awful people look at me like I am some terrible parent I am trying so hard at that moment to stay calm and I just feel frustrated for lack of a better word even angry. I'm so worried about what the future has in store for my beautiful angel.....heartbreaking
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prettyrainbow
. on Jun 07, 2016 @ 01:14 am

I can only imagine what you're going through as a mother, but please know that there is hope and with lots of dedication, you can eventually see improvement. Did they accept him for the assessment? 4-6 months can seem like a long time, but there are some children who only get assessed after years, so it seems like you're heading in the right direction. Do they also test for speech delays or sensory/processing disorders? It would be good to rule out whatever your child doesn't have in order to focus in the right area.

Here's a link to a helpful video that shows you ASL signs, specifically to be used with children with autism or other verbal processing disorders. You want to make sure you're using the sign for the appropriate behaviour/situation and you may also need to train your child by putting your own hands over his to teach him how it's done. Please don't get discouraged if you don't see results instantly. Every child is different. Some children may learn very quickly, while others need a little more time and patience. However, one thing is for certain - research has shown that children with autism who have learned sign language end up having better verbal skills later on. Repetition and consistency is key!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWtWdQKQR6k

In order to improve visual motor skills, the brain needs to process movement. If you notice your child isn't giving you eye contact, you can't just use your voice, especially from across the room. His gaze needs to be directed, so when you want him to look at you, get his attention first by standing close to him. Then with a light clap, snap of your fingers or even gently turning his face towards yours, direct his focus with your fingers moving from his eyes towards your own. Use one to two word directions like, "Look" or "Eye contact", as you're showing him where his eyes should be focusing. Again, keep repeating until he gets it and praise him with an excited expression and the sign for "Happy", "Good" or "Thank You" when he does look at you. Be consistent, both with the signing and eye contact.

"PEC cards" and visuals are also extremely helpful and can be really useful in communicating as your child gets older. They can be used to communicate directions, feelings, even the sequence of tasks he needs to complete.

From your description about where he's been yelling, the locations all seem to have a pattern - crowded places or places where he is noticing unfamiliar surroundings, which may have too much stimulation for him to process at once. That's why signing can be so important as it will eventually ease his frustration by giving him a voice and reduce the stress. You may also need to give your child a break. For example, if you're in a crowded restaurant for a long period of time, it may be too much for him to handle, so take him to a more quiet spot or outside from time to time. You may also want to inquire about a weighted sensory vest or blanket if the yelling becomes too overwhelming. They serve to calm down the child.

Here's another strategy you can use - There are two magic words to remember when addressing a child with autism, which also works well with any young child, but mainly those on the spectrum. The words are, "First" and "Then". They are to be used when you want to give the child directions or even a fair warning about what they can expect to experience. For instance, "First you eat, then you play with toys" or "First mommy pays and then we leave the store." Short and simple, but to the point. You can make it even more simple like, "First eat, then play" since your child is still very young.

These are all general guidelines I'm offering you. You can mention them to your pediatrician or eventual therapist and work out a specific plan for your child. Just rest assured that help is out there and it's about finding the right tools and strategies that will work with your child's needs. I also want to remind you that you ARE a great parent who is doing her very best with a challenging situation. Those who cannot understand are just not in your shoes, so just ignore them.

Big hugs and good wishes to you! <3

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1buzzer
Thank you for you fountain of knowledge I'm a newbie on Jun 08, 2016 @ 05:50 pm

Thanks to be honest the whole thing is quite confusing I have another Dr appointment soon and I got the application from the speech program in the mail today. I'm not to sure if or what else the Dr has planned but I am hoping to have some more answers soon I do realize 4-6 months is relatively short my oldest son had a speech issue with sounds sh ch th and so on and he waited for 3 years in Ottawa to be assessed. Thank you so much for help and I will dedinetly get to working on the signing have a good day
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prettyrainbow
. on Jun 08, 2016 @ 06:26 pm

I wish you the best of luck with what lies ahead. If you need any other advice you can message me and I'll try my best to help you. Have a good day as well!

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