My son just turned 3 ......

on Apr 18, 2012 @ 07:41 pm

My son just turned 3 on Monday and the last month he has been so whinny and I don't know why anything we do or say to him he starts to whine. Anyone have any suggestions why he does this? Thank You :)

9 Replies

Has something changed in his life? on Apr 19, 2012 @ 12:11 pm

I think it's an age thing. My son is three as well and has started whining a lot. Just be firm (and loving of course) and tell him that you cannot talk to him while he is whining. This works for us and within minutes my lil guy is using his big boy voice so he can tell us what he needs. As for the times this does not work, well we just wait it out and ignore the whining until it stops.

I do have a question though. Has anything changed in your sons life recently? Perhaps there is something new that has thrown a wrench in things for him.

Its very common on Apr 19, 2012 @ 01:16 pm

Most children are like that.....My son was like that at that age and now I am seeing all my nieces acting the same way...Dont worry just be patient and set some rules now while hes young and things will be alright...It also will probably keep happening for a few more years as well(sorry to say!) :0 Good luck Alyssa!

Patience on Apr 19, 2012 @ 01:19 pm

My cousin was like that as well... just being patience and being firm but lovely really goes far. In the end, it's just a phase :)

show more love on Apr 20, 2012 @ 05:56 am

I do not have a child,but same as alize my cousin also like this, one thing I often try is stay with him and got some gadgets for him, so I guess maybe at this age they became realize something and them care you love, they hate being ignored, so one best way is stay with him and show more love to him, things would be better when he grow older.

'Terrible Twos' on Apr 21, 2012 @ 03:23 am

Although your son is 3, he could just be testing out more boundaries and such.

It is a phase, and my daughter seems to be going through this as well. Sometimes 'bribery' works to stop it; or, if it gets really bad then threats such as 'If you keep whining then you won't get to...' [go to the park or watch a special show they like] will work too as long as you follow through [and count down from 3 or 5 so they know you mean it, while giving them time to comply].

There were a couple of good suggestions above, such as ignoring until he uses a 'big boy' voice and being patient over all; also pointed out was if anything changed in his life, that could be the cause of this sudden whiny spurt.

Thank You on Apr 27, 2012 @ 10:59 pm

Thank you for all the help everyone, I have tried out a lot of different things the last couple of weeks and he is starting to get a little better :) Nothing has changed with him, hes been on the same schedual for the last year and a half. I love my son more than anything...

A few ideas on Apr 28, 2012 @ 01:51 am

I actually just finished a course in school that really focused on the growth and development milestones of children (I'm in nursing and have worked in child care quite a bit) and this is really a part of him growing up. And although I'm not a parent, I'll throw my ideas into the ring. A lovely fellow named Erikson came up with different stages that we all fit into across the lifespan. Right now, your son is in the initiative vs. guilt phase, ages 3-6 (typically). The theory is that children at this age want to explore and learn the world around them, including their limits. So by whining, it's possible he's trying to see what he can really get away with!

I definitely agree that the best thing you can do is encourage him to speak in his "big boy voice". We did this all the time when I worked at a day care! It clicks in to the child that, "Oh yeah, I'm a BIG kid!" and I find instills some confidence. Kids love to know they're grown up and feel that they're being taken seriously. That said, in the end you know what will work best for him. YOU'RE his mommy! But I'm glad it's gotten better :)

Thank you beachbabe on Apr 30, 2012 @ 09:43 am

Thank you beachbabe. That is really good to know. I didn't know that. I keep telling him to use his big boy words and he is starting to understand that he needs to talk and not whine. So far it's starting to get better :)

It's a stage on Apr 30, 2012 @ 11:40 am

@Alyssa - it's a stage, and one that is hard to say when it will end. My kids are a little older but they still occasionally do this, so I know how frustrating it can be!

My rule with them is that I will not answer them at all when they use a whiny voice. They will only get an answer to their question if they use their Big Kid voices. I have also told them in extreme cases that the automatic answer to any question when asked in that whiny tone is "No". Little smartalecks then start saying things like "Can we have veggies for dinner?" or "Can I clean my room?" in whiny voices. Har har.

I really struggle with whining - it sets my nerves on edge from the first moment and makes me want to lose it with them. It's also why I have explained to them from the get-go that reasonable requests asked in a reasonable manner will usually be answered with a "yes". Sometimes that's a conditional yes and the request can never be extreme.

Ex. "Can I have a cookie?" "Yes, after dinner you may have TWO cookies." (assuming dinner is very soon).

"If I be good at the store, can you buy me that [$50 Lego set]?" "No, you know that's a little too expensive for Mommy, especially since it's not your birthday/Christmas. But you may have any Hot Wheels car from this shelf instead. Thank you for asking so nicely."

Obviously this backfires on my regularly. However, it's all part of the learning process for parents AND kids! As young as your child is, it will take a little while before you can reason with them effectively. I always speak using adult words with my kids and have tried to maturely debate with them from early on, but I realized that a 3 year old in near-meltdown mode is not going to be reasonable. At that point, you just have to dumb it down to as few words as possible and allow natural consequences to reinforce responses. (A natural consequence in my case is that the question/request is simply not answered due to the improper method of communication. I just walk away and *try to* ignore the sounds.)

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