Potty Training 3 year old girl!! Help!

on Feb 15, 2012 @ 05:09 pm

I've tried everything on every website, in every book, and taken every piece of advice from every friend and relative but nothing works. My daughter is incredibly smart for her age, but she just won't use the potty! She knows what you do on the potty, she likes to flush the toilet, she will tell me when she has soiled a diaper. Bribes don't help.

EEK, I need some help!!

8 Replies

It can be hard. on Feb 16, 2012 @ 08:41 am

I was lucky with both of my boys and had them trained to do both on the
potty with in a week. When did you start her training? I knew someone
that thought her daughter was so smart because she had her using the
potty at one, but it didn't last. She started sitting down on the floor
no matter where she was and did her business. I've heard that if you
start before they're ready you can have a much harder time in the long
run, like this person did. Her daughter ended up doing this for another
two years and her house stunk because of it. She wasn't much of a
mother, or a house keeper for that matter, but my point is that if you
push them to use the potty to soon it can back fire on you and take much
longer. I waited until my son's showed me that they had some interest
in it, witch was for my first son when he was about three in a half and
my second was about three. My husband was also a big help because he
could show them how to do it way better then I could. We used Cheerio's
and had them try and sink them. I guess that would be hard for you to do
with a girl, but you can try other little games like that with her. I
know its hard, but what ever you do, try not to show her your
frustration. That will only show her that she has a way to get over on
you and she'll use it on every time. Kids are smarter then we sometimes
give them credit for and learn how to get their own way from watching
our reaction to things. I know I wasn't much help, but I'm sure there
are others here that have gone through this with girl's that can give
you a few tips. It will come in time, good luck to the both of you!


just one of those things! on Feb 16, 2012 @ 09:32 am

I started potty training my daughter very early too. I thought she was ready at the time, but in retrospect I realize it was probably not so. We also moved to another country just as she was almost trained and it completely set her back.

I'm not making any assumptions about your situation - if you started too early or if you've had any major life changes lately. Just know that if that IS the case, you should expect some issues around potty training.

So when we started training all over again, we were able to get her to go pee pretty easily. She was about 2 1/2 at that time. But #2, sheesh. It probably took almost a year until she finally stopped going in her training pants.

It's SO individual and it's also so frustrating, but know that a 3 yr old not fully potty training is NORMAL. My boys figured it out much more quickly, but they had big sis to look up to. I have often heard that this is a factor (whether they have an older sibling or not).

And in the end, I PROMISE you, it will get better. Now that we're heading toward warmer months, you might try my trick (such as it is), which is to let her run around with a bare bottom. If she's like my kids, she would die if she messed on the floor. She'll probably beg you to put on a pull-up or her underwear and then promptly poop in them.

You could try just not giving in, but in my kids' case, that often led to constipation. I used bribery, positive reinforcement, and just patience patience patience.

What I would counsel against is punishment for accidents (even though we all know they poop in their pants on purpose). I do use negative reinforcement in my discipline, but never for potty training. You do not want to equate pooping with punishment. She will not necessarily understand that you are punishing her for pooping in her underwear; she will probably associate the punishment with pooping in general. I'm sure you can see how that's a problem.

I wrote a post about this here on ChickAdvisor, which basically reiterates a lot of what I said in this thread. Just keep at it, and when you figure out her triggers, please share them! There are a lot of parents in your boat and you are most definitely not alone. And if all you need is to vent a little bit, well, we're here for that too :)

Thank You on Feb 17, 2012 @ 05:15 pm

Thank You for the support Ladies!

My karlina turned 3 on Feb 20, 2012 @ 05:07 pm

my daughter just turned 3 in february and she aint potty trained yet. each kid is unique and I am not gonna force here. At about 18 months, she was interested, I let her try, and it was hit and miss. And then she totally said no. She was developmentally into building towers and puzzles and she can be bothered. However, she knows when she poop, since she want it changed right away. That is progress for me, even if she won't go yet.

Now, we have training pants here, but she seem to be saying no lately. So I will let her lead, I don't care what the book say. Once my daughter focus on something, she will do it in one week. She walk at 10 months old, so really, I think once she wanted to potty, it will take me one week.

I bet forcing her will just make her make many accidents, which turns her off from potty, and make her scared of doing it.

Her younger brother Kieren 18 months now, is very interested in the potty. In fact, he said "pepe, "and I have to put him the bathroom. At this rate, the 18 months will be potty trained before my 3 year old girl .

Parents just be patient. The books - i read it all.
The positive encouragement works.
The developing a routine - so -so.
The bare bum method - well, makes a lot of mess on my carpet.
The part where you role play with a doll - well, my daughter drown her doll in the toilet bowl.

My eldest is now 7 years old, and I was very on the book with him. He defied everything...and when I was ready to give up - and put on his diaper on, he said, he want his big boy underwear. He was 3 and 1/2 that time, and I can say - he potty trained himself.
If I was busy in the kitchen or doing laundry, he will drag me to the washroom with him. He sits on the potty, I sit on the chair, and their I am cheering his efforts. I never ask him if want to go potty. I said I have given up. But every time he needs to go, he looks around for mommy and daddy. I put a step stool on the potty, so he can reach the bowl by himself. He did..........one day I was in the shower, he poop, and waited for me to wipe his bum.

So, basically trust your own instinct. Do not be discourage. Let your kid help you train himself, and the more you push for it, they tend to say no. Ah, Mother Murphy!

Good luck to us, I have 2 toddlers here that are so in that journey too.



my success on May 23, 2012 @ 11:06 pm

When I trained my 3 years old daughter I had enough of her sitting on the potty not doing anything and as soon as we would put her diaper back on she would go. So I took the diapers off and she would ask for it back on. I refused said no and told her if she had to go to sit on her potty. I'n that day I had her trained. I hope the same works for my son!

Potty Training on May 24, 2012 @ 01:31 am

Don't be (pardon the pun), anal retentive about it. Unless you are having trouble with daycare, don't push the issue. You've been a great Mom and you've tried everything, but ultimately, it's your daughter's decision and sometimes, children just aren't ready until they are "older".
Try and turn a blind ear towards the comparisons that people make that aren't meant to be mean, but they end up making you feel like a failure as a parent. YOU ARE NOT and the same goes for your daughter. She'll let you know when she's ready. Imagine a 3 year old having a nightmare over "The Potty Dance" it must be terrifying. Just ask half an hour after she has drank something; "do you feel like you might need to pee?" Every once in a while (not 16 times a day lol) ask, you might just be surprised. Good Luck and remember, you can't compare oranges and elephants.

get excited! on Jun 12, 2012 @ 09:21 pm

Get her excited about her potty! Take her to the store to pick out whatever potty she wants. If it's plain or boring take her to the dollar store to pick out stickers and let her decorate it herself! My daughter has been training for about a month and thank goodness is doing great. No help from big brother as he was a NIGHTMARE to train. Allow her to have her potty where she pleases, my girl wont go into the bathroom all by herself, but if she can drag her potty around the livingroom (or wherever she happens to wanna play) then it's always right there when she needs it. I was very by-the-book trying to train my son. This time around i'm more relaxed and what will be will be attitude and it's actually working! Sure she still goes to sleep in a diaper, and wears one when we go out, occasionally she will still go in her diaper, but she tells me about it right away. She had a blast adding 100000 tinkerbell stickers to every inch of her potty and the same day she decorated it she used it! I make a HUGE deal and get really excited with her every time she uses it, we dance or sing and get high fives, and the occasional treat doesn't hurt either!

Potty train on Jul 05, 2012 @ 08:08 pm

Just give it time... girls go faster than boys...she'll come around

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