on Mar 30, 2011 @ 10:17 am|
Have you heard about Alye Pollack, the 8th-grader from Connecticut who posted her plea for help against bullying on YouTube?
It's a very sobering story that, despite the strong anti-bullying messaging we've been hearing from celebs and the news, rings all too true for so many kids out there.
Here's her video post...
|I just want to hug her! on Mar 30, 2011 @ 10:27 am|
I get so upset hearing these bullying stories. I though school was bad when I was there but the more I read and hear about what it's like now I think I got off easy.
It kills me that she's only in 8th grade and that she still has all of high school to get through... she's right, it can get much worse.
I don't know what it is that will help these kids; I don't think that telling kids not to bully is the solution. I think there are some serious issues that are causing the increase in bullying and harassment among kids and we need to figure out what they are so we can stop this issue before we have a new generation of depressed and medicated teens/pre-teens.
|tricky on Mar 30, 2011 @ 10:57 am|
I agree with Lauren. Telling bullies to stop is not necessarily going to work. Many kids bully because they were once bullied themselves, or they have a bad situation at home. I'm not trying to say "they can't help it", but rather that often these bullies have hefty personal struggles that they are too young to control how they deal with them.
Having school pep rallies that speak against bullying is all fine and good, but many of these tough kids aren't listening, just rolling their eyes.
Adults need to be more proactive. Teachers and principals need to take close note of kids who are being picked on and find ways to instill the necessary courage for them to tell adults who's involved and what the nature of the bullying is. Let's not forget that many victims are afraid to tell for fear of revenge after school hours and off school grounds! Really, there's only so much teachers and school officials can do. My daughter's middle school has a full-time police officer on duty for just this reason. It's not a troubled school, but it has a large enrollment and there are always bad apples in the bunch wherever you go. Still, bullying does happen despite what I feel is a very proactive attitude in that school. My daughter has reported bullies before, but she certainly doesn't see everything that goes on.
So then it comes down to the parents. I try to be very engaged in my kids' school life and ask them clear questions about what's going on. To my knowledge, my kids are neither being bullied or are bullying others, and I hope they are being truthful with me.
Sadly, not all kids are truthful. One of my daughter's friends was being bullied by a teacher's kid - and I know personally that this teacher has zero tolerance for bullying so I can only imagine that she was being lied to by her child or otherwise led to believe nothing was going on. Eventually the bullying stopped, thank goodness.
Take-home message: butt in! Get involved! Trust your gut, and be proactive.
|Feel for her... on Mar 30, 2011 @ 11:29 am|
I was bullied in grade 6, verbally and physically, to the point where my mom took me to school, and after school she would be waiting in the playground to take me home again. Even during lunch she would come get me and bring me back. During our mid-morning and afternoon breaks I would be part of the sports teams that would play in our playground, and that would help me not be alone so the bullies couldn't push and punch me around. My parents came to my school and spoke to the Principal and my Teacher. Both pretty much said the same thing; that there was nothing they could do. My teacher even took me aside and said to not complain about the bullying because that will just make it worse for me.
I find the teachers are never not aware of bullies, and it seemed to me that they were afraid of the bullies themselves. If they instilled and enforced zero tolerance for bullying I'm sure it will help kids like Alye a lot. It's not enough to just verbally say 'we don't tolerate bullying' but really enforce it. Have consequences that bullies and their parents have to face if their child is caught bullying.
I do agree that more than likely the bullies are facing issues at home which is the underlying cause for their actions, but that doesn't help a grade 6 or grade 8 child who's on the receiving end. I think a good course of action, that would help the victims and the bullies is, when a child is continuously bullying students, parents are called in but that doesn't help, then get Child Services involved. Have them investigate the bully's home and figure out whats causing the aggression. It's a start at least.
|It's a tough situation... on Mar 30, 2011 @ 02:09 pm|
Mumaluv you're right bullies have often been bullied themselves. It's tricky to pin point why any one child would choose to bully others but I think a huge factor for bullying in general is survival and power.
It might sound kind of vague and very general but that's what growing up is about. If you bully others it makes you feel like you have power over at least a few people, so at least you're not at the bottom. I think media has a big role to play in all of it too (surprise, surprise). Even though we love watching the feel good family movies and kids look up to the good guys in movies we are also bombarded with stories/television shows/ movies where the "bad guys" are actually pretty cool.
I'm embarrassed to say it but back in high school I went through a few months where I was a bully. It all stemmed from the movie "Mean Girls" my friends and I were obsessed with it. We bullied another girl in our circle of friends because she was the easiest target and took notes straight from the movie about how to make her feel terrible. I'm so glad I woke up one morning and my own conscience kicked in and slapped me in my face - I apologized to her and eventually we became friends. Looking back I have no idea what came over me to make me think that treating someone like that was ok... and what's worse is we did it in a group, I don't understand how out of 3 girls none of us spoke up against what we were doing for so long.
That whole experience has stuck with me so strongly and when I started working with youth when I was 18 I used it as an example all the time to get my point across that it’s so easy to fall into this habit of putting people down to build yourself up and it can do some major damage to people.
|This made me cry! on Mar 04, 2012 @ 12:21 pm|
Every time I see one of these it make's me cry because I know how bad
|"( on Mar 04, 2012 @ 08:10 pm|
This absolutely breaks my heart, and infuriates me at the same time. Kids are SO mean. 13 year olds shouldn't be taking anti-depressants, in therapy and thinking about taking their own lives. It's also ridiculously disgusting how schools state that they're "zero tolerance-bullying free" Give me a break, these kids are terrified & don't want to go to school because their bullies are there. It's affecting these poor kids educations. If conflict arises, what is the worse that happens? A detention or five? Maybe a suspension? Let me tell you, these bullies don't care. A free vacation from school? That's awesome to them. They aren't getting the message. Unfortunately I don't think the punishment for bullying is severe enough. Kids are KILLING themselves because of the torment they receive. The bullies walk away with a slap on the wrist. If these kids were punished as adults, harassment, assault, & even murder charges would be prominent. If I beat up someone because I thought they were gay, I would be tried and tossed in jail in an instant. Hate crimes. But they're just innocent children. Right? I don't think so. I seriously think this is a terrible epidemic and these poor kids shouldn't have to live in fear and sadness because of these bullies. Everytime I see one of these bullying videos I want to drive to these kids' houses and hug them. Tell them to be strong, and that one day, it'll get better, they're going to be okay.
Bullying is an issue very close to my heart, and it boils my blood to hear about it more and more. Something needs to be done. Something has to change. <3
|Our School's should.. on Mar 05, 2012 @ 08:29 am|
Call the cops when kids are being hurt. You're right though, no one can stop all the bullying, but the kids that are doing the bullying. I think they all need to be rounded up and taken to jail to show all of them just what its like. If they keep picking on kids, or beating them up that's where their going to end up one day. So why not just give them all a little taste of it now. Or round them all up and have a bunch of people start picking on them and show them how much their words do hurt. I don't know what the right answer to all of this is. I just know that it make's me mad and it make's me want to cry for all of the poor kids that have to deal with this day in and day out and its not just in our school's, its on line too. I've bin finding that the girl's are worse then the boy's, but its all the same no matter whose doing it.