on Oct 18, 2010 @ 12:02 am|
I don't get to talk about this very often, so I would like to have a discussion on here. So many kids are committing suicide over bullying, and it's ridiculous. This is completely prevented in my humble opinion and I believe parents and teachers need to start getting more involved in the children's lives so they can stop it before it can ever get to the point of suicide or another school shooting. I don't think people actually realize how bad bullying has gotten and can be for the victims, they just have the mentality of kids will be kids and there is not much they can do. As a former victim of bullying, I can completely understand the feeling of worthlessness and loss of hope, and that was back when we didn't have the internet and facebook and myspace, so now kids can be bullied 24/7. I know what it feels like to be constantly told you're ugly, you're poor, you're nothing, you're gross, imagine hearing that everyday and not being able to do much about it and know that everyday will be like that, that can wear you down, and make you go into depression, and being a kid you don't know how to rationalize and you honestly feel like this is the end of the world so a lot of children have committed suicide from feeling this way. There has to be more we can do. I listen to the schools talking to the news and saying that there isn't much they can do, they cannot patrol every area of the school, why are we not jumping on this and trying to figure out how to stop this? The school even refused to have a moment of silence for a boy who committed suicide because of bullying, and even threatened teachers with termination if they went against their demands. I cannot believe what is going on and the fact that the schools are so heartless and unwilling to help figure this out.
|Oh wow... on Oct 18, 2010 @ 04:55 pm|
That's terrible! My friends in Psych were telling me how suicide is a form of a chain reaction... when one person does it, the chances of others who heard about it suiciding are generally higher... weird isn't it?
Anyone suiciding is terrible, but for children to lose hope so fast is appalling... Something definitely needs to be done in schools. But it's hard to say what...
Ali de Bold
|I think much more can be done on Oct 18, 2010 @ 08:57 pm|
This is such a sad topic and I think it's up to every adult in the situation to take more action. First of all, parents need to make sure their children don't grow up thinking the world revolves around them. I don't know if many parents are aware if their kids are bullies or not but that's the first place they need to be taught to be decent human beings. Teachers need to butt in more. There needs to be someone to stand up for those that are being picked on. And I think kids need to be taught less about 'loving me' and more about loving others. Media is all about loving me. That doesn't get us very far does it?
|Very sad on Oct 20, 2010 @ 02:36 pm|
Coming from a family that was completely uninvolved with mine, or my younger brothers' lives, I would definitely say that many incidents that happened could've been prevented with a simple talk from my parents. My brother was recently admitted into a psychiatric hospital because of suicide threats, and one of the reasons was because of bullying. My parents were completely shocked by this and had no idea what was going on in his life. I wasn't. To be honest, most parents don't even realize that they are neglecting their children and if they were told so, they would probably not believe it. Not saying that my parents meant to be distant, they just didn't realize that their own problems (fighting, divorce, depression, etc.) were affecting their children's lives.
There are too many signs that teachers ignore, and I believe it's mostly because they are afraid of getting too involved. In a country that's "sue" happy, people are very cautious at how close they get to children because you never know what their parents are going to do. It's easy to say that schools are capable of doing a better job, but to be honest a lot of them don't realize it's happening right under their nose. I wish they would make it more accessible to kids to talk to counselors, maybe a Facebook page, e-mail, something! And I also wish the media with back off with the whole me, me, me, me trend.
|As a Teacher. . . on Oct 20, 2010 @ 09:34 pm|
As a new teacher is a not-so-great school I can give a bit of a view as a teacher on things like bullying and fights in schools. Mind you I only have this one experience so I don't know how accurate it is in other schools.
There are a lot of sessions for teachers to learn how to deal with students who come to them who are being bullied and how to notice signs. Even if teachers do have this knowledge there are a lot of other factors to consider.
Teachers can only do so much sometimes. For example if one student is bullying another physically, teachers aren't supposed to break up a fight as that involves physical contact with students and a fight will just get worse with more people involved. If it's verbal bullying that is more likely to be stopped but there aren't teachers around everywhere to monitor students at all the time if it happens again.
Another huge factor is parents. Many parents think their kids are angels. Even after their kid is suspended some parents still think the decision was made unfairly and don't discipline their own child. I don't know how many parents I've called just from this Sept who can't believe their child is failing, not because they never do any work, but for a bunch of other excuses. Or the number of parents who I've called because their child is disrespectful towards me and these parents don't believe he/she would behave this way because that isn't how he/she is at home.
Another are the students being bullied themselves. If they don't ask for help it's difficult to do anything. Even if teachers notice and bring this up with the student and parents, if the student being bullied doesn't admit to being bullied then there's limited action anyone can take.
I've also noticed at my school that there's a lack of resources, though this might not be true at other schools. For example, I have two boys who sometimes fight in my class. I would call the VPs but no one wa available to help because they were dealing with the police concerning another fight. More resources and support are needed at schools and there isn't the money for it.
One thing I was told about suicides is that they shouldn't be glamorized because it might encourage other students to follow suit based on the community reacts. This is why suicides aren't always reported on media. Apparently it's pretty common that someone who is suicidal, who sees the amount of positive attention another person who committed suicide is getting, will do the same because they think that afterwards that's how they'll be thought of and that's better than how they are now.
I do agree that bullying in schools is not good and it should be reduced. But I don't think the responsibility lies solely on teachers. It's a lot more complicated than just noticing bullying occurring and then stopping it, a lot more.
|"it takes a village to raise a child" on Oct 21, 2010 @ 12:24 pm|
... is a saying we hear a lot. And I think it's both true and untrue at the same time.
On the one hand, it's important for everyone to be invested in our youth. When other kids come over to play at our house, I try to always make them feel welcome and loved. If possible, I try to get to know them in the hopes that should they ever need to talk to someone they might consider talking to me. In the same way, I notice many caring, invested teachers at my kids' school who genuinely do their part to make it a safe, welcoming environment.
On the other hand, our families need to maintain an "us against the world" philosophy and not rely on the outside world to help our kids be well-adjusted members of society. Parents that adopt a hands-off approach are taking a risk, and of course that's their right. It's not an option for me, though. I parent very proactively, asking specifically about my kids' schoolday - how are they getting along with friends, with teachers, with the principal? Is there anything on their mind they need to talk about?
In a perfect world, both scenarios would be available to each and every child. Sadly, that's not the case.
|I was a victim on Oct 26, 2010 @ 01:32 pm|
of bullying when I was in grade 6. I HATED going to school because of this. I would get pushed, tripped, punched, name called, made fun of, etc. everyday all the time. The name calling was done openly in front of the teachers, the tripping, pushing and sly punches were done in front of them too. They did nothing. They didn't even bother to reprimand the bullies. If they saw me walking down the class and all of a sudden i would clutch my ribs 'cuz someone had slyly punched me there, they would pretend not to see. If I would trip or be pushed and fall to the ground, it would be as if nothing happened. It felt to me like the teachers were afraid of becoming unpopular to the bullies or something. I'm not, and never was a meek person, so I always stood up for myself, which really didn't help the situation. I told my teachers, they told me that there's nothing they can do, I should just be quiet about it and it'll die down. My parents came to school and talked to the principal, the principal took me aside and told me the same things as my teachers.
The bullies would wait outside for me so on my way home they could push me around / punch me around. I used to have my mom take me to school, bring me home for lunch, take me back to school and bring me back home. So long as she was there I was protected. And before anyone jumps in and tells me that because of this I got bullied, this was my last resort that I had to turn to when even the teachers refused to acknowledge and stop the abuse. It was either that or go home sore every day.
1995 ... It was the absolute worst year I spent in school..ever. The summer break following grade 6 I was crying my eyes out begging my mom to not make me go to school again. Of course I'm glad she didn't listen to me, Grade 7 was an awesome year. New (bigger) school, new friends, now the bullies weren't so macho anymore.
I was really lucky, I had lots of love and support from my parents. I never once felt as worthless as I'm sure the bullies wanted me to feel. I just hated being picked on...
But I'll still never forget grade 6...to this day I remember it.