You blacked out, it's your loss. We can't do anything about that.

on Jun 25, 2014 @ 02:56 am

What are your thoughts on sexual assaults that happen while one has blacked out?
The title basically reflects the kind of response you would get from the police..
They told me that 30% of reported assaults happen during a blackout.

That's a lot of people who are getting away with it if you ask me. The assailant will be ASKED wether he'd like to go for an interview or not. He has the right to say no and nothing else will be done. The least they could do is obligate the accused to show up for an interview, I mean, if you're innocent, it should be fine.

But I guess that's about as unrealistic as thinking he'd go to jail..
Requirements for success: witnesses immediately getting tested to check for drugs/alcohol in your system. 

Totally fair! (Major sarcasm)

14 Replies

Unfair on Jun 25, 2014 @ 05:13 pm

Yes I do believe that young women should be careful about drinking to much etc but rape is rape and no one should be allowed to get away with it. If consent is not given then as far as I am concerned it is rape, too many women are being sexually assaulted when a woman is incapacitated.

I do believe females should be more careful but this does not mean that I condone rape. Our laws need to be changed. There are enough women willing to give men sex any time any way, so why are these men abusing unconsenting females this way. I realize it is considered a power trip but it is wrong and can destroy the innocent party completely.

The only advise I can give, is girls go out in groups, be careful of what you drink or consume, and if you think you have been raped go to the emergency dept and have a rape kit performed on you.

So hard! on Jun 25, 2014 @ 06:01 pm

I am of course absolutely in favour of any rapist (be it man or woman) being duly prosecuted for their crime. They are also entitled to an "innocent before proven guilty" defense, since unfortunately it can happen that the victim could claim rape when in fact it was just morning-after regret.

I also think it can get really complicated if both partners have been drinking heavily and neither is in possession of their full wits during the act. So I do agree that the victim should be properly interviewed to establish if there were any circumstances which may shed light on the situation.

I know of someone who claimed rape and got a guy in a lot of trouble, but then later confided that she made it up because she was mad at him. I believe the charges were eventually dropped but it was a nightmare for him at the time.

There are also a lot of girls who dress extremely provocatively, are dirty dancing at the club, get a guy incredibly riled up, and then at the last minute say no. OF COURSE this is her right. And OF COURSE he should respect her decision. But when both are slobbering drunk, there is a lack of control that can blur the situation. How many of us have done foolish things while drinking? I'm just saying.

Those horrible stories you hear about frat boys getting girls sh*tfaced and then having sex with them are unforgiveable. But as women, we also need to take a certain amount of responsibility for not putting ourselves in unsafe situations. That's the part I'm most frustrated about.

Be smart, and be safe ladies! Don't set yourself up for failure by acting irresponsibly and making bad choices. Always take a wing woman (and not one who will be even drunker than you).

Agree on Jun 25, 2014 @ 07:32 pm

Love your post I agree whole heartedly with what you have written. Rape is inexcusable but at the same time do your part to prevent it from happening by watching how you dress how much you drink etc.

The victim should NEVER blame themself on Jun 26, 2014 @ 03:40 pm

No one asks to get raped/assaulted. No matter how they're dressed. People should be careful when they drink but there's the other "responsibility" which is to NOT participate in any sexual activity with someone who is INCAPACITATED, UNABLE to consent. Now, if she presses charges but then finds out that she participated in it and chooses to drop the charges. I believe it's because deep down, she knows she would do that sort of thing. BUT she was still unable to "truly" consent.

No consent on Jun 26, 2014 @ 05:49 pm

No consent still means NO! Only cowards and truly ignorant people would take advantage of a female who is inebriated or somehow "out of it". Don't you all agree?

Thanks :) on Jun 28, 2014 @ 04:49 pm

Thank you for the support. I've gotten some laughs and awful accusations from this event. It means a lot to have someone say something positive.

NO WAY on Jun 29, 2014 @ 01:59 pm

I don't care if you've blacked out or not. No one has the right to take advantage of a situation.

If you are not able to consent than that means NO! on Jun 29, 2014 @ 09:26 pm

No real man would ever take advantage of a woman in that state. It is not the victims fault in no way shape or form. Unfortunately the police service is still male dominated but if you were to ask an officer if they would like their sister, mother or daughter treated this way you may get a different response.

Do not blame yourself just blame the system and give support to everyone else in these situations so they know they are not alone and you are NOT ALONE.

God bless and may your healing be quick:)


I wish I could change the system somehow.. on Jun 30, 2014 @ 03:00 am

The assailant is also getting away with domestic abuse. His girlfriend is clearly suffering from Stockholm syndrome (either that or she's too afraid of him to call the cops), I don't think the investigators are even trying to check if I told the truth. I told them as much information as I could but it was clear to me that I was just wasting my breath. I don't know what to do..

They said that if there were another accusation of assault made against him.. It wouldn't change/influence much. And that even if they were to find his DNA somewhere on my body, they still wouldn't be able to tell if it was consensual.
They insisted that "he was in love with me and that he means no harm", I swear it was as if they were defending him. He'd been lying to me this whole time, lying to his gf and beating her on top of it all. I thought I knew him.. I clearly don't. They certainly don't know him either if they truly believe he means no harm.

I try to be understanding of how they work... But they were all the hope I had and I left their office feeling more devastated than I've ever had in my whole life.

I feel like I have to do this investigation myself, no one else is doing it. I'm the victim, I know who to speak to, I know I can find something out - anything! I need answers, the truth is out there, I just need to get it out.

Wish you luck on Jun 30, 2014 @ 03:49 am

I know the system sucks, right! I wish you the best of luck in getting answers, wish I could give them to you. Our legal system leaves a lot to be desired. Don't hold it against the police, they are just as frustrated as you are, their hands are tied too.

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