Am I too jealous???

on Mar 24, 2014 @ 06:36 am

I have a boyfriend and we've been together awhile, started off as friends might I add that we also met from Myspace when that was popular. This is another issue regarding social networks. I personally believe what you do or say on social networks such as Facebook (in this particular situation) is not much different than real life. Some people think it's a silly opinion, but I figure, whats the difference saying something whether from your own mouth or typing it? You're still saying it right? My boyfriend, needs social networks. He plans to become a public figure and might I add, LOVES women. I understand and I KNOW he would never physically cheat but he is pretty close with a lot of girls and most of his Facebook friends ARE girls, even if he knows them or not. I don't mind him having girls as friends, I just feel there needs to be a clear line between that, and inappropriate relationship for someone who is committed. He likes posts when girls say "I'm horny" or will like sexy and provocative pictures of girls (ones he knows and doesn't know). I personally have a problem with this because I feel why should he be letting these girls know they're beautiful? Which I don't care if he looks, all men and women look, BUT he seems to really fight me on this. I've ALREADY talked to him and told him it made me uncomfortable, and he tells me he's 25, and doesn't care because he's not cheating and I'm being ridiculous and says he will continue to do it and I'll just have to "get over it". We don't fight much, but I'm feeling pretty disrespectful.. more at the way he acted towards me for feeling uncomfortable. I feel like I'm not allowed to voice my concerns because he will start acting weird and get annoyed by me and my insecurities and I know they're insecurities, but I just don't know how to STOP being overly jealous over that sort of thing. Am I wrong? If I am I would really like to know, as well as if I'm not. HELP!

3 Replies

Respect, Not Jealousy on Mar 24, 2014 @ 10:10 am

Personally, I don't think you're being jealous at all. In fact, I think that the concerns you are voicing are perfectly reasonable and it's not coming from a place of jealousy but of looking for some respect and I think you're totally on point with that.

I think that some FB comments can be taken as jokes and I do get having an online personae if you are someone in the public eye but his comments on others girls photos have crossed the line. It's not just a little flirting if he's doing it behind your back and being so explicit about it. I think this guy needs to tone it down as a sign of respect for you and your relationship and if he can't then maybe it's time to give him the boot!

um, what? on Mar 24, 2014 @ 10:21 am

I think you are completely justified in your opinion! Look, if you were ragging on him for something small like leaving the toilet seat up or whatever, I would say it's not worth throwing away a great relationship for (assuming that you guys are otherwise rock-solid).

But looking at other girls, casually flirting with other girls, etc is a HUGE problem for me. Better believe I'd react the same way you are. You have every right to say "this makes me uncomfortable" and if he really loves you, he will stop!

And what kind of a public figure does he want to become anyway? If he wants to do something important like politics, these kinds of antics are a big mistake. The internet is forever, and if you think that down the road someone will interpret your actions in the wrong way, or you may come to regret them on your own, then you know you should not be doing them now either. If he wants to just become an internet personality, do you really want to hitch your wagon to that nonsense? Does he want to become the first Internet Bachelor? Then you DEFINITELY don't want to be with him.

Women have good intuition for a reason. If you are generally a reasonable person and his actions are giving you second thoughts, listen to them. He's not treating you the way you deserve. If it's important to you, maybe you guys can work through this and live happily ever after. He needs to be receptive to your opinion, and he's allowed to disagree with your opinion. And then, you're allowed to leave him.

thanks! on Mar 24, 2014 @ 10:31 pm

Thanks guys! this is eating at me so much! I just didn't want to make any rash decisions and was looking for an objective point of view to make sure I wasn't over reacting!! Both of your answers were awesome, and really confirmed my feelings! I need to follow my gut, you're right! It'll be difficult cause I love him so much, but I need to be respected and if facebook and his need to make sure girls know he finds them attractive is a bigger priority than my feelings of being uncomfortable.. then it's probably time. He didn't respect me when I tried to tell him. Time to let go.

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