on Feb 24, 2011 @ 08:10 am

My live-in boyfriend of almost two years will randomly blurt out "you suck!" to me from time to time. He says it is a joke. I did this when I was 22 to my Ex. Is this some sick cosmic joke? Is this normal or am I overreacting? I am at thirty, he is pushing thirty. I figure this is something siblings do to each other when they are 12 or as adults as a joke, but not couples? This doesn't happen often but when it does, I feel hurt. I don't want to start feeling resentment due to something so small like this. He has an odd job and our schedules are reversed to start with, so I take on 95% of the household chores, how and where can I possibly suck? I don't want to sound like a prude, but randomly hearing something like this from my boyfriend is annoying as hell. He is my boyfriend, not a sibling. What's wrong with him? What's wrong with me? Do other couples do this? 

6 Replies

Tell Him. on Feb 24, 2011 @ 08:59 am

You gotta tell him how it makes you feel. Otherwise the resentment WILL build up and you'll end up belong up about something else. Get your feelings out now and talk about exactly why it's bugging you and how hurtful it can be. Couples are supposed to be supportive of each other and build each other up - you're right random put-downs are childish and they have to use in your relationship.
Good Luck!


Ali de Bold
Immature on Feb 24, 2011 @ 09:18 am

You've got to sit the boy down and tell him to stop that. Tell him how it makes you feel and that though he may be joking it does hurt your feelings.

agreed on Feb 25, 2011 @ 08:53 am

That is totally immature. I think he probably is doing it just as a joke, not to actually suggest you're upsetting him in some way.

And if that's true, then it should be easy for him to stop. If by chance he does mean to hint he's upset about something, he needs to tell you clearly and constructively what that is.

Either way, his behaviour is just silly and totally unbecoming for a 30-year-old.

habit on Feb 26, 2011 @ 12:10 pm

It may be a habit for him to say that. Does he say that to everyone? Sometimes I tell my friends to "shut up!" but I didn't say it to be mean. I just said it jokingly. Once I realized one of my friends had a weird reaction to when I said it, I made it a point to stop myself from saying it. But now that same friend says it to me and we laugh about it. So whether he thinks it's not a big deal or not, if it bothers you, you need to have a talk with him. If he cares about you, he will make an effort to put an end to saying that. You can't help the way it makes you feel and it shouldn't be a big deal for him to stop. You definitely need to express how you're feeling or he will think it's okay and keep doing it. You have the right in a relationship to tell him what's bothering you. In my opinion, I don't think a guy should say "You suck" to his girlfriend.

feel like there is more to the story...... on Feb 26, 2011 @ 04:40 pm

Is there more going on here then what you mentioned? I just ask this because (based on what you have written), it seems like you are angry to the point that you are mentioning other issues-the chores, an ex, etc.

The other commenters are correct-obviously you should tell your guy what's up.

Also, do you have any sort of "outlet" in your life? Do you have time for yourself and do anything else on your own (or with your friends) outside of your relationship?

so... on Feb 28, 2011 @ 03:44 pm

Did you guys work it out? Has the behaviour changed?

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