Are all lies created equal?


MizzRobin
on Jan 21, 2007 @ 04:34 pm

Ok so here is a question, are all lies just as bad? I find that I get irritated when a guy tells you a little white lie that you know full well is not the truth just because they don't feel like telling you the truth. I find it very disrespectful. Is telling someone you chilled at home and did laundry instead of I had friends over equal to a very deceitful lie like I am only dating you when someone is dating multiple people? To me, if you don't respect me enough to tell me the truth on the little things then why would I ever believe you on the big things. No one wants to decipher fact from fiction right? What are your thoughts?
 


5 Replies


artist
Honestly is the best policy! on Jan 21, 2007 @ 05:55 pm

I wouldn't say that it is as bad. But if he's lied to you about something like that, then that is not a very good sign. Lying about something like that makes you wonder why all the secrecy. I can totally see why you would be irritated, I would be as well.

For any relationship to work, there has to be that open air of honesty.

You can try and press for an explanation. Like, why would he lie about that? Is there something wrong with you knowing that he had friends over?

I just think that lying to someone you are dating is not good at all, like why would you chance ruining something by lying, if she knows that you are?!!
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Ali de Bold
Don't trust a liar on Jan 21, 2007 @ 06:56 pm

I don't believe there is ever a good reason for lies in a relationship. I'm the same as you MizzRobin, in that I take even small lies as a personal insult that either they think I'm stupid or I don't deserve to know the truth, which are both unacceptable to me.

I think the most important thing you can do is go with your gut on this. If you feel something's up, it probably is. I saw on Oprah or somewhere else that when wives or husbands suspect their spouse of cheating, 90% of the time it's because they are - even though the cheater would always deny it. I would apply that same logic here. If your guy can't be honest with you even about simple things, I would have a really hard time trusting him with big things.

I've met my share of liars in life and not had use for any of them. Especially when it's someone you are supposedly close to. It's all about trust and when someone lies - even about the little things, that trust has been violated.

I really hope it all works out for you. You deserve better than that.
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MizzRobin
Not in the situation right now... on Jan 21, 2007 @ 08:51 pm

Actually I got out of a situation like this already...not currently in a relationship with someone who lies. I have friends who are currently at that point and of course don't listen because there are a kazillion and one reasons to NOT listen to your friend and believe in the guy (insert sarcasm here). Anyway, I have tried to talk to her about this and thought I would post the question to show her that it is not JUST me that thinks like that and get some other opinions from people who don't know her and therefore can give an unbiased opinion. Seems like we think alike misschickie and artist! :o)
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mamaluv
Pathological liars on Jan 23, 2007 @ 02:08 pm

I know a few people who lie about the most ridiculous things, like how much they spent on a grocery item or how long it takes them to drive somewhere. When it comes to more important matters, I really have no idea if they're being honest. I would almost be more willing to forgive the person who lied bigtime once or twice than the one who lies about everything under the sun. Almost!

Lying isn't cool, and I know we've all done it at one point or another. I wouldn't accept it anytime.
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MizzRobin
I know what you mean... on Jan 23, 2007 @ 06:21 pm

I know people who throw the lie out there, even when you weren't asking for any information. I have had a friend go "oh I am so tired I went to the gym for the past few nights" when I know full well it is not true. They just bring it up in casual conversation for no reason when there was no discussion leading to the comment. Those people are the worst because then you don't know what to believe and not believe. I almost understand when people lie to cover up or to avoid getting into something (not that it is the right thing to do or excusable) but to lie just for the sake of it?!!? Weird. Anyway, yeah I don't think lying is really the right way to go anytime...but I am stubborn on that topic I guess. :o)
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