Are your partners emotionally supportive?

on Feb 13, 2016 @ 10:44 am

For the most part mine is, but I find he avoids a lot of problems by either going to bed or going to work in his office instead of confronting issues and dealing with them when they arise. Just wondering if this is normal guy behavior, and would love some tips on how to deal with it.

12 Replies

I would say on Feb 13, 2016 @ 01:38 pm

yes, normal guy behavior. Mine lets stuff bottle in for quite some time, figuring out what is bothering him is like pulling teeth.

I thought so! on Feb 13, 2016 @ 01:40 pm

Thanks for telling me that! Mine bottles stuff up too, and then sometimes it just blows up and we have an argument over it. I wish guys were more straightforward!!

. on Feb 13, 2016 @ 02:36 pm

Sometimes men just want to be alone sometimes to process things going on in their life. They typically want to "fix" things and my experience has been if he feels that something is threatening his masculinity, or is having work problems he wants to work them out himself.
I usually give space and gently ask if there's anything I can do, remind him that I'm here to listen and I usually do something nice and unexpected for him. Just something little that shows him my love. I find it really frustrating but like you said, things can turn into a fight if you're bugging him about his feelings or trying too hard to get him to open up.
Men are weird lol

. on Feb 13, 2016 @ 02:52 pm

Not mine. I find this is a bigger problem in last generation. It's less a 'guy' thing and more how society trains men to act. I think open communication is the way. Just explain how you feel and do your best not to box him into a corner as it can stress them out more.

Lol on Feb 13, 2016 @ 03:00 pm

Yes they are weird! Thank you for your tips! :-)

Open communication on Feb 13, 2016 @ 03:03 pm

I also believe it's a societal issue. Boys are taught that it's not OK to cry or be emotional, but they are not given an alternative coping mechanism except to just shut down.

Yes on Feb 13, 2016 @ 07:55 pm

My Husband is the best - but we also respect each other.

If either of us is in a mood, we need time to process things, and then talk about it when we're ready (it took a few years to figure this out). We're very open with our communication and rarely argue.

Recently, it's been stressful at work for both of us, and he's been very supportive of me and vice versa - it just sucked that I wasn't able to be 100% there for him as I was dealing with my own feelings after I missed an amazing opportunity (thanks brain blank).

We also try to leave the past behind us and not bring anything bad up that happened as ammunition - I see other couples do that, and that would leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

not unusual on Feb 13, 2016 @ 08:47 pm

I think this is common for guys. I think some people deal with things by moving on and focusing on new things rather than want to talk about the problem and relive the moment. My boyfriend and I are the opposite of your problem I think.

Societal on Feb 13, 2016 @ 10:01 pm

That's absolutely true! Actually now that I think of it, my husband does kind of have a problem when he's stressed that he closes off a bit, but he doesn't realise he's doing it. Once I bring it up, we talk about it, but sometimes I'm in a bad mood too and then we can argue.

It doesn't happen often and the longer we're together the less it happens, but I definitely think men are less encouraged to share their feelings for fear of weakness. Some women like a 'strong, silent' man too and they may have had partners in the past who made fun of them for it too.

I guess it all depends on what's right for your relationship. I'm a very open, communicative person, so I like a partner who's going to keep me clued in. But it's definitely a struggle finding the balance between that and respecting someone's differences.

I agree on Feb 13, 2016 @ 11:11 pm

Most bottle it all up and don't want to talk about it until they blow up one day and are discussing things from months ago. I don't think it's right and I do believe in open communication however if that's a personality trait of theirs there's not much you can do.

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