Avoiding awkward silences on dates - can it be done?

on Feb 20, 2012 @ 04:51 am

A couple of my female friends and I have recently got back on the dating bandwagon after months of feeling sorry for ourselves (I'm talking tubs of Ben & Jerry, crap films and cheap wine). So enough is enough and we've all been on a first date in the last couple of weeks. They wet relatively well but one thing we all agreed on is the fact that there are often awkward silences and we're rubbish when it comes to filling them in. I tend to blurt out random lines which (I think) make me sound like a complete airhead. Either that, or I start looking aroud the room/cafe/restaurant and wait until he says something *CRINGE*!

So what I want to know is how do other people tackle moments of, well, nothingness?


4 Replies

enjoy the silence on Feb 20, 2012 @ 12:11 pm

i talk too much, so really --- i can recall moments of silence between me and a date, well, he got to be really boring to say uh hu...okay, kidding aside........I can relate what you are talking about.

I actually asked guys who I dated in the past about how they feel about. I know, I am shameless.

Anyhow, they said it might sound strange, but they enjoy it. A bit of peace they say. Men don't like talking non stop.

Enjoy that silence to look at each other in the eye, look if your glass or his glass need refill, think of an upcoming show or movie that you might like to watch, ask questions about important matters to you.

what do you think of the state of junk around us?
do you think people should care more about recycling?
Some general topics that does not involve about you or him tends to get better reply.

I will pause and I usually ask questions like "what do you like about your job? Or about your business if he owns one? or what do you like about your studies, if he is still in university or taking his masters?
These questions lead to more than one sentence....if he loves it, he will tell you why.
if he hated it, he tends to tell you about some funny, not so pleasant episode at work.
You might accidentally know the type of person he is by these questions.

A time to think as Jeremy said once - or else, you just keep talking for the sake of talking, and it does not lead to a better conversations.

anyways, i am sure other chicks has more to share, random ideas, funny, cheeky, its all good.

good luck:)

good point on Feb 21, 2012 @ 02:05 pm

I would enjoy the silence, smile, eat / drink, and wait until I have something interesting to say. If you find that eating & smiling away is dragging a bit too long for comfort, compliment the food or drink. Ask him if he's been here before and what has he tried that's any good? Look at the menu selection and comment on what you'll try next time you're here.

Also, look at how he handles the silence. Is he comfortable? Is he getting antsy or fidgety? Is he getting defensive? All a part of getting to know the guy.

Dating is fun, enjoy yourselves :-)

leading questions on Feb 21, 2012 @ 02:20 pm

try to keep your questions open and leading, rather than something that would dead end in a yes/no answer. "what do you think of____"?

Silence is golden on Feb 22, 2012 @ 04:03 am

Thanks for the tips, girls. I actually thought that the man might appreciate a minute's peace! Good point.

OK, I think we're ready to brave our next dates. Thanks for arming us with good topic ideas. I think we'll be in now :)

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