BF best friend and I don't get on - what to do?


Anonymous
on Jan 12, 2013 @ 07:39 am

What to do?

BF'S best friend and I don't get on.

Every time his best friend ask to do something, we go and all he does is talk to my bf and just ignore me. 
So I've decided whats the point meet up if all I'm gonna be is ignored by his best friend
Now his best friend is saying if  I don't come on the next outing, then he is gonna stop trying. with me(although he never has).
Now my BF is upset with me.

But what to do, this dude is playing all the cards, making out like he is making the effort when he totally isn't.
I've given his best friend enough changes and this dude just doesn't like me. 
Its like we are in a play ground fighting for my man.

I've tried trust me I have. 
On so many occasions to gel with him but he constantly ignore me and so does his GF. 
And I'm the person that can't stand to be in someone's company when I know they they don't like me and won't show any respect at all to me. 

So any of you been in this situation?
What would you guys do?
 


6 Replies


KatelynRose1984
Just let it be. on Jan 12, 2013 @ 08:40 am

I find that boys in general can be very "awkward" around girls. Think of it almost as a first date, etc. He is probably making a huge effort - in his eyes, but that might not reflect to you.

The fact of the matter is, HE wants you to come hang out with them.. It's HIS idea. That should definitely mean something! I'd be flattered if my BF's best friend did that.

Also, sometimes it's hard to share your best friend.
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takoda
Boy's will be boy's on Jan 12, 2013 @ 01:05 pm

But I agree with katelynrose, if he hated you he wouldn't be asking you to hang out. Guy's are strange to us and always will be. Both him and your boy friend probably don't even know your feeling like this. When guy's get together they tend to talk about things they like and if we're not into the same things we can feel left out on the side lines. When I got together with my guy we were always with his friends and all they talked about was Harleys and hunting. I'm into the bikes so that didn't bug me, it was when the hunting talk started that I felt left out. That was until I started really paying attention to what they were saying and I started asking questions. After they saw that I was interested they talked to me and my guy not just him and I began to enjoy their stupid stories. I'm not sure how long you've bin with this guy, but it doesn't sound like its bin very long. Give it more time and try an become part of their conversations even if you hate what their talking about, you just might surprise yourself like I did.

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AlexJC
Quality Guy Time? on Jan 14, 2013 @ 11:02 am

When you guys all hang out together, does he invite both of you? It could be that he's feeling a little left over and jealous, maybe he's missing his best friend? If he is, it might be nice of you to give them a little alone, quality guy time. If he understands that you aren't a threat and aren't going to take him away, then I think he'll loosen up and be more welcoming.

And as far as ignoring you when you hang out, it could just be that he takes a while to warm up to people, maybe he doesn't realise he's being a jerk. Some people are just stand off ish. Until then though, I think you need to continue being nice and pleasant but also realise that it isn't up to you and you aren't dating him so what he thinks doesn't matter.
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Anonymous
I will try.. on Jan 14, 2013 @ 04:16 pm

He plans these outing just to see my BF and sadly I'm a tag along - I heard that from my BF bestfriend mouth.
So I'm totally convinced, this dude don't like me. (I haven't told my BF because I don't want to ruin what they got.)
I heard him say that to his GF when I was on a outing an they obviously didn't realize I was right behind them.
It hurt like shit what they all was saying about me. But what can I do..

Thanks all for your replies.
I really do appreciate it.
@Alexjc - I give them enough guy time. Because I understand what it means to be caught up in a relationship and its easy sometimes not to spend a lot of time with your bestfriend.
So its not that they don't have enough time together. they do.
Its been a year now.
You think his bestfriend would have already warmed to me.

I do take all your comments on board..
I will go to another outing with him and see how he behaves.
If I read he's playing me and making out yet again he's trying when he isn't, I'm sorry to say I'm giving up.

Time will tell.
I will try harder to get more an more involved in his conversation, even if I don't like it.
I will try.
Reply

AlexJC
From my personal experience... on Jan 14, 2013 @ 04:32 pm

I can say that from personal experience, if I ask a friend of mine to hang out and she brings along her bf, I would be pissed. And I would probably unnecessarily take it out on the bf instead of actually discussing the issue with my friend.

I don't think its you, I think its him and maybe just take a step back and let them be alone for a while.
Reply

Ali de Bold
Just be yourself on Jan 15, 2013 @ 03:17 pm

It sounds so cliche, but there is nothing you can do but be yourself.

I know it's hard when people don't like you (or it appears that way). We all want to be liked. All you can do is be genuine and be yourself. Be kind to him and his girlfriend even if they aren't to you. It will become evident to your boyfriend that you are making an effort. If they don't reciprocate he will eventually notice that too.
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