Boyfriend wants me to move in?


shalynsimpson
on Apr 02, 2015 @ 01:33 pm

Okay so I have been dating a doctor since I started nursing school two years ago and he is six years older so I have always been taking the relationship slow, especially since he has two kids from his previous marriage. Now he wants me to move in and that's a HUGE commitment because I am only halfway through nursing school and I am so worried for his kids, I don't want them to feel like I am a replacement mother or anything. What do you think I should do?!
 


4 Replies


fredamans
Talk to him on Apr 02, 2015 @ 02:41 pm

Tell him how you feel and you two together can come to a decision.
If he loves you, it won't be an issue.
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bethanito
moving in on Apr 02, 2015 @ 07:48 pm

Talk to him about your concerns. I think it also depends on how much time you've spent around the kids. They need to be comfortable, too, and if their mother is involved in their lives then she really needs to be okay with it, too. I don't see the age difference as a problem; my husband is almost 12 years older than me, so six seems like nothing, haha. Also, depending on the age of the children, and if he was okay with it, you could ask them how they feel about it. And if they're old enough to understand, you can always tell them that you're not trying to replace their mom, but that you care about their dad and have their best interests at heart.

Hope everything works out!
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Cy73
Decisions to make on Apr 04, 2015 @ 02:41 am

Is this something you want right now? It sounds like you are thinking about your schooling. It also depends on how old the kids are and what their relationship with their Mom is like. It would be a big step with the kids involved. You would be a step-mom figure. It would be a lot of changes for you and your boyfriend. I hope you feel comfortable and not pressured in the relationship esp. since he is asking you to move in. The age difference shouldn't matter. I wish you all the best. Be honest to your yourself and let him know what concerns you the most.
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prettyrainbow
Moving in on Apr 04, 2015 @ 08:15 am

Like the previous ladies mentioned, the age factor shouldn't matter in this case. What's most important is the effect this step will have on the kids first and foremost, your relationship with your boyfriend and your schooling. Is he on speaking terms with his ex? If so, he should be the one to introduce this idea to her first and then you should all come to an agreement together as to how to make the transition work for the kids. This would be a big life change for them too and the more positive steps you all take to make it easier on the kids, the happier you all will be as well.

Your schooling seems to be an issue of great importance to you. Do you feel that by moving in you'll then neglect your studies? If that's the case, just tell him. Maybe you can both work out a way to make sure you can study with ease and if not, he should understand and accept your decision to wait until you've graduated.

In the end, you should both be discussing what this move will mean to both of you. Where will it lead 2-5 years from now? Make sure it's what you both want and if you're not ready, analyze why and how to work at getting to this point in the future. Good luck!

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