Boyfriends-brother issue

on Aug 04, 2012 @ 12:39 am

My boyfriends brother just broke up with his gf of many years. he is currently living across the country but now he wants to move here, and live with me and my bf. My bf and his brother are very close, and have a band together. his brother wants to move here, throw himself into their music, and tour. My bf hates his job, loves their band, and would like this as well. 

I have noooooo interest in any of the above things happening. I love my privacy, I don't want someone else living with us, especially considering that I dont like their music, and I'm sure they would be playing it all the time during practice. Having had lived with both of them before, i know they are super messy and super loud, and extremely frustrating to tolerate on a regular basis when together. I don't want my bf to go on tour, because that just sucks for any relationship. Frankly, I don't think this would work anymore if he went on tour. We have had a long distance relationship before and I would never do that to myself again. 

How do I manage this? I can't tell him to not have his brother come here. They are very close and he's very excited to have his brother here, and that he finally broke up with his crazy ex. But i want to keep things the way they are now with us. What do I do? 

2 Replies

Bf and Brother on Aug 08, 2012 @ 09:18 am

First, you don't know for sure, 100% that any of this will happen. Don't worry over things that haven't even happened yet! Next, I think it's best to be open and honest with your boyfriend. Tell him that you're anxious and nervous. Not that you blame the brother or that you don't want him here. But simply letting him know that you are happy in the relationship and you want to keep it that way will be enough I think. Once the brother gets there, I think it will be important to have "alone, couple" time. Maybe you can schedule date nights. As far as the music career goes, if that is what he loves and it is his passion, you might need to take the good girlfriend, supportive role for a while, even if you aren't totally pleased with it. I wouldn't get ahead of yourself yet though thinking about tours etc. For now, just take it as it comes and have an honest conversation when the time comes. Good luck! xxoo

I would tell him on Aug 08, 2012 @ 01:18 pm

Its your relationship, You have a right to be fifty fifty. If you dont want the brother involved tell him. Im betting that your pocket book will get lighter too. I think it is irresponsible for your boyfriend to ask for such a commitment. Now if your going to marry him..I would weigh out your pros and cons.

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