Can I Borrow That?


prettyrainbow
on Apr 04, 2016 @ 12:07 am

Has anyone ever asked to borrow something of value to you (whether monetary or sentimental value) and never gave it back? It has happened to me quite a few times and I'm seriously considering saying no to anyone else that comes to me for that favor.

I do notice a pattern though. Most of them have told me they either lost it or had no recollection of ever having borrowed it. Some of them are repeat offenders.

Would you have them pay for a replacement? I've approached some in the past, but others try to intimidate you by saying you're accusing them of stealing. Maybe I'll come up with a sign up system to hold them accountable, like they do for library books!

What are your thoughts on this?


 

18 Replies


Anonymous
borrowers on Apr 04, 2016 @ 12:19 am

Continously it has seemed for years.I don't fall into that trap anymore.
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prettyrainbow
dollysgramma on Apr 04, 2016 @ 12:23 am

I know how you feel!
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fly_eyez
Oh yes! on Apr 04, 2016 @ 04:44 am

I'm a very nice person and would think nothing of allowing someone to borrow my things (or lend money). Books, clothes, makeup, shoes, recipe books, exercise equipment, evening wear, electronics, wigs or hair extensions, a lawn mower, cd's or dvd's, jewelry, etc. Once, even a BED!!! Not anymore! I've been burned too many times. The items were either lost or never returned or returned so many years later I forgot I even lent it. I've even had things returned damaged - like I'm not going to notice??!!
The biggest offender these days? My 20 y o daughter - who doesn't ask - she just takes! Ugh! I swear, she waits til I leave the house then raids my bedroom. I've found things of mine that I forgot I even owned!
It took me a long time, a really long time, but now I just say no. And I don't feel guilty at all. I have NEVER damaged or not returned anything I've been lent. I think it can be very damaging to a relationship and I feel so disrespected; I just couldn't do that to someone else.
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Tracyr
. on Apr 04, 2016 @ 07:02 am

That has never happened to me but it happens to my mom all the time ,I think it's horrible ,I would never feel comfortable borrowing something from someone and not returning it
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prettyrainbow
. on Apr 04, 2016 @ 10:09 am

I'm the same way ladies! I've never hesitated lending things before and have even encouraged others to come and see me if they needed any resources. However, I learned the hard way and have decided that I'm just going to have to say no from now on. It's starting to affect the way I work because they're taking my resources and material (which I've spent hundreds of dollars on) and keeping them as their own.

I think some people are just naturally forgetful. I understand that it can happen from time to time. Even if I would borrow something and lose it, I would come clean about it and offer to replace it for that person. I think the mistake I made was expecting everyone to act the same way I would. Lesson learned!



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KrissiC
Yes on Apr 04, 2016 @ 10:17 am

That's happened to me a number of times with clothes, books, baby items. I have had to make a point of asking repeatedly with certain individuals. Some people have gotten upset with me and said the can't remember borrowing that OR that they've returned it. One person whom I lent a number of baby items to like swings, bouncers, chairs, Jolly Jumpers actually got rid of my stuff saying 'well, you said you're done having kids, so you obviously don't need it'. I did ask that person to pay for the items because they weren't theirs to give away. I'm still waiting on that. Don't imagine I will see the items, money or individual again. Which is sad because we used to be quite close. A sign out system is a good idea! I don't see anything wrong with asking for a person to replace an item they've borrowed from you and lost.
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prettyrainbow
. on Apr 04, 2016 @ 10:31 am

How awful @KrissiC! I could just imagine the value and memories those pieces had for you. They could have at least asked for your permission before giving them away or possibly selling them to someone else. Like I said, we often expect people to act the way we would but there are a few out there that just don't care and prefer to protect their pride and egos instead of apologizing.

The items I lent out are irreplaceable. They were activities and games I had created myself to teach my students. That means I'll need to work overtime to try to build up my resources again. More money spent buying the material I need, as well.

I will be setting up a sign out system to hold them accountable. I'm even going to list the cost of the item on the sheet so that they understand what they're getting into by borrowing it. No more excuses. You lose or damage, you pay. I'm only doing this at work though. For personal items, I'll only lend them to trusted family members from now on and no one else.

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fly_eyez
. on Apr 04, 2016 @ 12:21 pm

That's terrible you guys! Profiting monetarily from a bored item??! And teachers spend so much of their own money for their classrooms - that's just awful!
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b3ckb3ck
. on Apr 04, 2016 @ 02:09 pm

I have that issue with people (mainly loved ones) borrowing my money!!


My one sister I have lent almost $3000 to help her cover bills etc.. But she has magically forgotten about it all LOL! But if she "lends" me money if I'm in a tight spot she expects it back within a week.

My other sister, I have helped her out a few times with rent and bills and I tell her to just get it back to me when she can, and shes usually good for it. One time a couple years ago I asked to borrow $20 till I got paid which I told her was NEXT Friday and she was hounding me all that week for it back.. But when I shelled out $280 to get her cat fixed because he was spraying all over the apartment I never saw one penny back.

I had the same with my ex (the father of my child), I have been paying his legal aid bill monthly for over a year now.. And we've been broken up for about a year now! I used to pay his phone bill as well. He keeps saying "Once I get a job, I'll pay everything back." I've been hearing that for months.

I've learned my lesson lol. I'm not "lending" anyone anything anymore. I'm done being nice.
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KrissiC
Lenfing on Apr 04, 2016 @ 04:35 pm

Yes, people are so selfish and irresponsible with borrowed items sometimes. That's awful that you ladies have experienced that. I now only lend to certain family members to avoid this.
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