on Mar 02, 2009 @ 03:25 pm|
Would you take back someone who beat on you?
I feel bad posting this because what happened to Rihanna is terrible, but I think it's an important discussion.
As you may know, Chris Brown beat Rihanna recently and she took him back. Then I read on Lainey Gossip that he's frolicking at the beach like nothing ever happened. I know that none of us were there and so it's hard to comment, but I just felt sick seeing that and knowing that she is still with him. I am also furious that nothing seems to have happened to him as a result. No consequences!? That kind of thing is unforgivable and I think it sends a terrible message to women to take men like that back. I was in an abusive relationship years ago and I took him back at the time so I know how messed up it makes you and how hard it is to think clearly so I don't blame Rihanna for her choice. But I do feel like he should have been arrested and her friends and family should have kept him away from her, at least long enough for them both to get councelling; she for the purposes of clearing her head and getting back on her feet and he for his anger issues.
|We can't judge on Mar 03, 2009 @ 03:20 pm|
It's easy for us to sit behind our computers and have an opinion. The whole world can shout to Rihanna LEAVE CHRIS BROWN. But like everyone else, she needs to figure it out on her own. It's no help to come down on her as her "fans". I'm sure she's been told already. She just needs support.
|why is this news? on Mar 06, 2009 @ 10:31 am|
I personally do not understand why this is news. This is a personal matter b/t them. I do not understand why the media has to delve into their personal business. Gobs of relationships go through similar battles -- its hard enough w/o the media prying. I've lost a lot of hope and respect for American media. We've recently started tuning into BBC -- more objective and tells us more worthwhile and meaningful world news.
Ali de Bold
|Sad on Mar 06, 2009 @ 01:53 pm|
This is a tough one. I admit I too get suckered into reading celeb gossip from time to time but it's more for the point of view of who is writing it, like the Fug girls or Lainey Gossip, than the celebs themselves.
This issue is really sad. I don't think it's healthy for people to speculate on the lives and relationships of celebrities at all. However, I also think it's a very sad situation that unfortunately, too many women can relate to.
|Brutal on Mar 06, 2009 @ 07:57 pm|
The whole situation makes me feel sick and sad. This is proof why people should never let celebrities be role models for their children....as celebrities are just as fallible as everyone else. There were reports released today as to what alledgedly went down in the attach and it just sounds horrific. http://abcnews.go.com/images/Entertainment/Chris_Brown_document_090305.pdf
Unfortunately this type of violence happens A LOT more than it is ever reported and when someone in the spotlight returns to the person who so brutally attacked her it does send the wrong message to other young impressionable women out there. Sad sad sad.
|um on Mar 10, 2009 @ 11:45 pm|
I don't think we know the whole situation, an I hope that she isn't stupid. She must've taken him back for a reason *hopes*. And he did get two felony counts for assult and battery..
Ali de Bold
|No reason is good enough on Mar 11, 2009 @ 11:49 pm|
First, there is no possible reason that could justify taking someone back who beats you.
Second, most women in abusive relationships take the abuser back at least once. They feel they did something to deserve it, that he will change, that no one will love them the same, etc. The justification goes on and on. In that situation you are not thinking with the same reasoning you would normally use if you were single or in a healthy relationship. It has nothing to do with how strong or how smart of a woman you are. It's one of the terrible side effects of abuse. You question your own sanity, your sense of worth and everything in your life.
Media prying must make this a million times worse for her. I just hope that other women in abusive relationships don't decide to stick it out because of this example. However, no one should criticize her for her choice for the reasons I mentioned above. Her friends and family should step in, no, BUTT in, take her away from the situation (situation being him) and shut the media out so she can heal from this and move on.
Ali de Bold
|BTW on Mar 12, 2009 @ 04:16 pm|
I hope I'm not coming across as preachy when I share my opinion on things. My goal is not to force everyone to see things my way but to say it like I see it.
The media is constantly sending messages and with culture being so celebrity obsessed, people see stars as role models.
We wouldn't turn our backs on a kid being beaten up at school but as a society we tend to say 'it's none of my business' when it comes to domestic violence, when really that's when we should be butting in to try and put a stop to it.
As you can see I feel strongly on this topic, but I hope I haven't offended anyone with my opinions or delivery.
|not at all on Mar 12, 2009 @ 04:17 pm|
I completely agree with you.
|Lock Him Up on Mar 13, 2009 @ 08:17 pm|
Chris beat Rihanna up like he was in a boxing match. He should go to jail and she obviously needs to see a therapist for taking him back. Maybe when he gets to prison he can find a boyfriend that will beat him the way he beat Rihanna.
|sorry for the long reply but.... on Mar 14, 2009 @ 11:36 am|
First of all, whether she likes it or not Rihanna is in the public eye, she is the role model for many young girls, and is the dreamgirl for many young boys. I understand more than most what she's going through and how hard it is right now to think outside of what she's going through, but she's in this profession, she must. She needs to be strong and fight back, so the young girls and boys learn that beautiful women are also strong women who don't sit in a corner scared while their partners abuse them. They stand up and fight.
I know how hard it is to even think of fighting back when you're in that situation! When being abused, the person becomes scared of their own shadow, they become super paranoid and most often don't even share what they're going through to others for fear that "he will hear! Somehow, i don't know how, but he will hear....and then there will be hell to pay."
I know in many cultures women sustain abuse to such a point, that its the mark of a strong women if she suffers abuse in silence. That is utter rubbish!!! Its not strong to keep quiet when he's screaming at you, or threatening you, or shoving you around or beating you...its the mark of a weak woman who takes the easy way out and keeps quiet. Its the 'easy way', if you keep quiet, because you know how much abuse he'll give you, you know the extent of what he'll do. But if you do somthing foreign and forbidden, like report his abuse, and walk away from the relationship, you really have no idea what he'll do to you and your family. Most abusers dare to yell scream and hit their women because they are supported by their families. So really, if you stand up and fight back against the abuse, you not only don't know what he'll do to you, but you don't know what his family will do to you and your family!!
At the very least, they will spread bad rumours about you! At that point when ur not thinking clearly, those bad rumours take on unwarrented importance and it seems that its better to stay and keep quiet than walk away and have him and his family attack you with terrible rumours that will ruin your and your familys reputation.
That's the very least, and there is no limit to the "most" he can do.... a person who raises his hand to you, who attacks you emotionally and physically, there really is no limit to what else he can do.
Sorry, i'm saying "you" i really mean the abused woman.
Anyways, MissChickie you're absolutely right that there is no reason why a woman should take back a man whose beat her, I hope Rihanna and all abused woman out there have someone who will offer them protection from their attacker and will be there to tell them that they're worth more, that they can be strong enough to fight back, that whatever bad happens is no where near as bad as being in the relationship, that rumours and what not aren't important, etc.... all these things that are common sense when one is in their right sense, isn't so common when in that situation so I hope someone is there to tell them that.