on Jan 14, 2012 @ 04:42 pm

ok so i'm a teen girl and i have liked this same guy for 4 years. it is pretty embarrassing. he is super popular, preppy and cute and i'm like the nerd in the corner (no joke!) i don't fit in at my high school....i'm sort of retro vintage, into fashion, haute couture and all that, but that is obviously not his type! it just makes me feel so dumb i dont think he likes me, he never talks to me, but when he has to (like in class for a project or something) he is quite and doesn't make eye contact. this is totally different than how he acts with his friends (goofy, drama queen, center of attention). i feel like a 4 year old with a crush on price charming in some disney it pathetic of me to not be able to shake this guy?

 There is literally no chance in the world he likes me and if he does he is a pro at not showing it. the problem is that even if he did like me, it would never work out becuase his friends don't really seem to cozy up to me. some of my friends have boy friends and i've never even been kissed (let alone liked by a guy or even asked out how lame am i?!) i feel like a baby! i don't really want a boyfriend, but i don't want to be the nubby nerdy kid that no one notices. errr!!!! i am 16 years old....i have a cool life if you get to know me!! i feel like an extra loser whenever i see my crush because when i look at the girls he hangs out with, im just soo not them. they are kinda fake, but sometimes i wish i was them. even just for a bit. it would be way easier if i was popular and could just be in his popular posy. But im not with the band, no where near being in his this totally pathetic of me? can i just please have some advice, i need some direction, support or a clue that maybe he likes me back?? Sorry for rambling....


9 Replies

Aww! on Jan 15, 2012 @ 12:56 pm

You need to get over this guy and just have fun being single :)

Aww! on Jan 15, 2012 @ 01:23 pm

Don't feel like a loser! It's OK not to be like "them".

Just be you. :)

Everyone has had a crush or two in their time so don't feel badly about crushing on someone.....

You have two options:
Don't waste your time over someone if you think its a lost cause OR drum up the courage and ask him if he would like to "hang out" sometime.


I was you!! on Jan 15, 2012 @ 04:25 pm

I hear you! I felt exactly as you do! I loved the same guy from Grade 5 until Grade 11. There was NO way we were ever meant to be together... we were so different. I was the smart, fashion-y, nerdy girl, and he was the popular guy. I was so fixed on him... every year my heart broke a little. People say those crushes don't mean anything... I disagree. Even though you know you need to let go and that if the relationship happened it would likely not be healthy because you have too much invested in it, you love him despite it.

Invest in you... learn to be happy with who you are. One day you will let go. I did. And - I got a full scholarship to university, was Miss Ottawa, backpacked around the world before I met the guy I was meant to marry. Know what? I still think about my high school crush now and then... and know that it was never meant to be... but I don't regret a thing. I just know your future will be just as fabulous... if not better!

Ali de Bold
We've all had crushes on Jan 15, 2012 @ 07:46 pm

I think it's safe to say we've all been there. I certainly have. It's totally normal to feel the way you do so don't beat yourself up about that. But you have to know you have a long life ahead of you and the way you feel about this guy you will one day feel about someone else. High school may seem like forever for you right now but it goes by in a blink.

You could do nothing and see if he eventually makes a pass, or you could talk to him and see if there is any mutual interest but of course that takes a lot of guts, which I never had myself. I may be old fashioned but I've always believed if a guy is interested, he'll work up the courage. I know a lot of girls have the guts to ask a guy out and good for them! But I think guys like to initiate. Your job is to be nice back to him so he doesn't have to worry he will be rejected.

Worst case, nothing ever comes of this and you never see him again once
you graduate. But the good thing is life after High School is better
(and much longer!). Before long you won't even think of him, because
you will have so many new experiences and meet new guys who may even
interest you more or better yet, like you back!

Been there... on Jan 16, 2012 @ 11:10 am

I've been in your exactly situation before! I know how you feel. I agree with Anonymous... learn to be happy with who you are... focus on yourself. You mentioned that the girls he likes are "fake"... you don't want to be like them! Be genuine, be yourself, be happy! Confidence and sincerity are very attractive qualities and will attract a great guy! "Fakeness" and insincerity might also attract a guy... but I don't think he would be a quality boyfriend!

High School does seem like it lasts forever! But it doesn't! Enjoy it while you are there, but know that there is so much more to come!

"Anonymous" and Ali are absolutely right. on Jan 16, 2012 @ 12:48 pm

All through high school I had a huge crush on a guy who didn't just ignore me, he outright rejected me...numerous times. I was also the school nerd, and I had it bad for this guy. He was nice to me, but he wouldn't go out with me.
I felt so rejected, and my self-esteem was so low, that after that I would do anything to make a guy like me, and I ended up making some very bad choices. Twenty years later I found out he is gay, but I was left with the scars from his rejection and all of the compromises I had made in order to make guys like me.
All this is to say that maybe you two are not a good match, or maybe his lack of interest has more to do with something about him than about you. Either way, try not to take it personally. Crushes are hard because it's hard to just turn off your feelings, but this will pass, and you'll meet other great guys, and you'll forget all about him. Just always be yourself, and keep yourself busy doing the things you love to do, and spending time with the people who do love you. You sound like a lovely young lady with lots going for you.

Move on on Jan 17, 2012 @ 04:57 pm

Maybe he does like, maybe he doesn't, either way, he doesn't seem to be worth your time. I don't mean this in a harsh way only that it seems you guys don't have a lot in common, so even if he did like you, what is to guarantee that once you guys actually started getting to know each other that it would work out?

Trust me- the idea of this guy is most likely better than the reality.

I say, shake this off and focus your energy elsewhere. You'll find someone who suits you eventually, but I don't think this guy is it. Once you graduate high school and move on, you'll be meeting way more people (and way more interesting people at that!) and you'll fall into a group of friends who will share your interests.

Good luck!

Get over it! on Jan 17, 2012 @ 10:52 pm

I'm in high school too, so I can relate. But my advice is to get on with your life.

High school only happens once, so make the most of it. Have fun, join clubs and sports, hang out with friends. Interesting people are the ones in the center of the room, not the one in the corner. And of course that doesn't have to be you. But if you invest more in your own life, it will become you.

Who is this guy? He's your crush. Not your boyfriend, not your friend, not a member of your immediate family. He's just a boy. Breathe freely in the knowledge that who you are doesn't impact your overall desirability--just his own desire. And the person who you will marry someday doesn't give a crap about that. You can't judge yourself by someone else's standards, because someday, they might be gone, and then what do you have?

Most importantly, be yourself. People who meet their soul mates at a masquerade tend not to find them again.

Good luck! Sending hugs and rubber duckies,

Write him a note. on May 06, 2012 @ 10:32 pm

Have it say, "Do you like me?" and leave a two checkboxes. One for "Yes" and one for "No." See if he even responds. If he doesn't, most likely, he doesn't like you.


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