Destination weddings...

on Jan 31, 2007 @ 02:58 pm

What is the norm with destination weddings? Do you pay for your maid of honour to come or the bridal party or the parents? Does everyone pay for themselves? What is the standard?

5 Replies

No clue?!?! on Jan 31, 2007 @ 08:57 pm

Okay this is a topic where I have no idea.

misschickie! what is your take :P

Ali de Bold
Oooh this is a tough one! on Jan 31, 2007 @ 09:37 pm

I think it really depends on the situation. If you are well off enough that you can afford to fly your bridal party down or some family members then it might make sense to do so. But that shouldn't mean it's expected of you.

Most of us can't do that I don't think it's fair for anyone to expect a free trip to Jamaica just because she'll be M.O.H for the occasion.

In our case, everyone who came to our wedding in Winnipeg (do I know how to throw a party or what??) paid their own way. We've flown all over for other's weddings when we can afford it and so it's no biggie for others to do the same for us.

A lot of our friends in Toronto couldn't afford to come to our wedding and that was fine too.

I think the two most important things are to give people enough notice so they can save up/take time off and secondly, be understanding if they still can't come.

Sometimes couples will throw a party after the wedding for the people who couldn't come.

I have heard of this... on Jan 31, 2007 @ 10:57 pm

... I have heard of people who have destination weddings having a receptiong when they come back to town...makes sense to me. I was just wondering if there were any expectations with stuff like this. I am helping someone plan their destination wedding and I did not know what to tell her. I guess if attendees look at it as both a vacation for themselves and a wedding for you, then they should not mind shelling out the cash to travel to your wedding. I wonder how much a couple actually saves by having a destination wedding compared to a traditional one. I hear there is quite a bit of savings but I don't know what that translates to in dollar value...

We are getting married in Mexico on Nov 09, 2007 @ 03:18 pm

and everyone is paying their own way. We aren't even selecting attendants until we know who's coming for sure (meaning - those who actually booked tickets, not those who SAY they are coming but won't book).

Of course, it's my second marriage (his first) and it is a pretty laid back affair. I look at it as we aren't paying for anyone's vacation but our own and people can choose not to come if they don't want the expense.


Cheapskates huzzah! on Nov 09, 2007 @ 09:00 pm

If I were in this situation, I would fully expect to pay my own way. When my cousin got married in Vancouver, he flew my brother up b/c he was in the wedding party and emcee for reception - I know he was pleasantly surprised. I guess in some circles it might be considered gauche to ask people to pay to come out, but for the vast majority I'd say most expect to not receive financial support.

If it's in a city where there are lots of family members (assuming for a sec your friend is not getting married in the Caribbean!), it would be a wonderful gesture for close family (like parents, siblings) to offer their guest rooms to other immediate family. When my bro-in-law was married in my home town, we hosted the stepdaughter and another immediate family member even though we had never met them. That was really appreciated.

If you're still unsure, I'd ask the mother of the bride. Since, even though we hate to admit it, she's really the authority here on family dynamics.

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