Do you give the ring back after broken engagement?

on Jul 14, 2012 @ 03:29 pm

Hello ladies, I know this is a fairly controversial question, so I'm expecting many different opinions.

My boyfriend of a year and a half proposed 2 weeks ago on a trip out west, then on our way home last night he, out of know where, ended things saying he wanted to try being a "playboy" . I have yet to decide myself whether I will return the ring. I have had a few people saying that since he ended it I should keep the ring, we have no laws stating the ring must be returned, it was not a mutual break up at all. Its still very fresh so I would rather not go into too many details, but the situation was basically that his behaviour never changed, he never stopped being affectionate and kept telling me he loves me, then suddenly a complete 180 and him saying he wanted to break up, we were not fighting at all at the time.

the ring isn't a family heirloom, it's something he picked out especially for me, complete with a single diamond between 2 sapphires (my birthstone). He got the ring a couple months ago, on sale with a non-refundable condition.

What are your thoughts ladies, do I return it to him or keep it?

5 Replies

Ali de Bold
Ouch! on Jul 16, 2012 @ 11:45 am

I'm so sorry this has happened to you! It doesn't even make any sense how he could go from proposing one minute to breaking things off 2 weeks later.

Ultimately it's up to you what you do with the ring. If it were me I'd return it. I'd put it in the mail - not even bother to give it to him in person. It's such a loser thing he did. Why keep the reminder? That's the high road.

On the other hand, did he ask for it back? If not, you could always sell it and do a little shopping ;).

What a loser! on Jul 16, 2012 @ 12:32 pm

Wow, that is horrible! I feel so badly for you :( Thank goodness you found this out now rather than after several years of marriage and a couple of kids!

I agree with Ali that I wouldn't want to keep the ring because it'd only ever remind me of him. The mature thing to do would be to give it back... but that's also letting him off the hook so easily. I definitely understand the desire to keep it, and because it's a gift, you are not required to give it back either.

If I were in your shoes and decided to keep it, I'd probably sell it and spend the money on whatever else. Maybe something that removes the emotion from it, like paying my cell phone bill or whatever. If I wanted to keep the ring for some lingering sentimental purpose, I'd probably have it reset or changed into another jewelry item like a necklace or bracelet so that at least it's different enough that you don't need to permanently associate it with this broken engagement.

Keep in mind that if you keep it unchanged, a future boyfriend/fiance will almost certainly feel uncomfortable about you having it around.

Good luck, and keep us posted with what you decide! I can't imagine how difficult this must be. *hugs*

Keep it! on Jul 16, 2012 @ 12:45 pm

The ring was a gift to you when he made a promise and he broke that promise, therefore, I say, keep it! You deserve and earned it. I think the only trouble with this is that you run the risk of constantly being reminded of that relationship and it could stop you from moving on. So, I agree with @mamaluv and Ali, maybe you should sell it and use the money for something for you. Not on the same scale, but I keep small things or letters around from ex boyfriends, I like having reminders of a relationship (both the good and the bad) so I can move on and learn from that. In any case, I don't think he deserves to get it back so keep it and do whatever you'd like with it! :)

Sucky! on Jul 16, 2012 @ 02:40 pm

I say if you break it off, you give it back but if he breaks it off, you keep it! So, I'm with the others. Keep it and sell it or have it reset.

So sucky! Hope you're doing ok...

HELL NO! on Jul 16, 2012 @ 05:29 pm


If you had been the one to break it off, than I would definitely say to return the ring back to him. But since it was him who broke off the engagement, than keep it.

Sell it, and treat yourself to a trip somewhere nice.

I'm very sorry to hear your story, but just thank God that you didn't get married to him!

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