Does he like me...or just friends?

on Dec 18, 2009 @ 10:56 pm

I met this guy in September, and found out he's in a few of my classes. At first, I was pretty sure he's into me, like standing beside me, sliding into the seat beside me, etc... he'd usually text me before classes, and msned with me (almost whenever he had the chance to), usually began with something about school, assignments, etc. Then in mid-November, I went out with him for coffee (just coffee), and he'd continue to msg me when he got home that day, then when I texted him that weekend, he never replied (he always did). Then when I saw him in school again, he seemed kinda different. I thought he seemed kinda cold to me, though my friends said he's the same as before. He still text and msn me, but always about school stuff, and he'd always come over to my house to borrow textbooks. He likes coming behind me to scare me. He flirts with me sometimes, and when I'm texting or msning him, he usually replies with with lol. He doesn't msn me as often anymore, though I'm guessing that's coz he have work almost everyday, so i didn't wanna bother him too much. Anyway, I do really like this guy, but he's confusing me so much...plz help! ><

7 Replies

sending you a message on Dec 21, 2009 @ 12:58 pm

I think he's sending you a message, though I'm not exactly sure which one.

1. He's totally into you, but feels like he's put himself out there and not sure of where you stand. So he's backing off to see what you do next.


2. He's cooling off, but keeping his options open.

Either way, you need to just ask him. I think if he was totally over your flirtation, he would be even less available. Are you brave enough to just ask him out yourself? If you go with "so, where is our relationship headed?" he might get scared, so why not simply ask if he'd like to catch a movie and pizza over the holidays?

Just let things happen and try to not overanalyze, especially this early in the game. Overthinking things is often what gets us into the most trouble with men, right?

Best of luck, and keep us updated!

He's on vacation... on Dec 24, 2009 @ 12:45 pm

I tried asking him out last week (through texting), but he had work. Then he said he's going on a vacation till the xmas day because it's his bday. So meaning if I don't text him, he won't tell me then? So what do you guys think I should do when he comes back? Since I don't want to look desperate...should I be the one to text him or should I wait till he finds me?

My guy friend says he's totally into me...but all guys a different right...? And My mutual friend says, she still thinks we are at the friends stage.

ball now in his court on Dec 24, 2009 @ 04:51 pm

When you say you tried to ask him out, did it go something like this?

"Hey, do you want to get together on Friday, maybe see a movie or whatever?"
"Sorry, I have to work."

or was it this:

"So, what do you have going on this weekend?"
"I gotta work."

If it was the first, then I'd say he's aware of your attempt to ask him out and now the ball is definitely in his court. You should not push any further, as then you will look desperate.

If it was the second, you could possibly try again as there isn't much for him to assume from your question... and some guys can be really dense about that sort of thing.

It really depends on how obvious your attempt to ask him out was, and only you can judge that. Don't forget too, that whatever your friends are seeing is biased - either they really want you two to get together, or they don't for some reason. It's really hard to take their perspective as they can hardly be objective. This is just one of those things where you have to hear it from the horse's mouth.

clarification on Dec 24, 2009 @ 04:53 pm

I don't mean to suggest that your mutual friend is trying to stand in your way. I only mean that it's really hard to take someone's opinion who has a bias, whatever that bias may be. And sometimes friends are just too close to the situation in general and can't see the bigger picture.

Playing around.... on Dec 24, 2009 @ 09:34 pm

It appears to me that he's playing around with your feelings and it's unfair to you. Lotsa guys think it's fun to be flirtatious and make you fall for them, but more often than not... they really have no idea what they want. If you ask me, he is definitely just trying to keep his options open.

Don't waste your time on boys and focus on your studies. One who is really interested will treat you with respect and not play games with you.

I wish it's that easy.. on Dec 24, 2009 @ 11:39 pm

Actually I texted him WHILE he's at work...he replied with or only just "lol haha". I tried keeping the convo going, but it's kinda hard to reply with just "lol haha"...
I asked when is he off work, and he replied 10pm with a sad face (so can't go out).

@Anonymous // Playing around...:
I somehow agree...but I wish it's really just that simple...hahaha....

Ali de Bold
Not serious on Dec 25, 2009 @ 11:09 am

If he's really interested you won't need to analyze it because it will
be obvious. I'd ignore him for awhile and see what happens. If he's
interested, he'll get in touch and find a way to spend time with you.
But from what you've told us, it sounds to me like he is just a flirt.
There are lots of guys like that. In all honesty, we girls do it too.
People like attention and don't realize that their actions are being
taken seriously.

Chin up, Girl! The right guy won't make you analyze his intentions. You'll know them :)

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