Eek, Help, Boy Problems!

on Mar 02, 2010 @ 06:23 am

Hey girls, im in need of help!

Ok, well ive liked this boy for a long time, almost a year and a half but not enough to ask him out, and then we be became much better friends and i began to like him alot more.
At the start of school term i pulled up all the courage i had and told him i liked him, and he didn't really give me a straight answer, and im quite confused.
I mean he acts like hes into me, we always laugh and joke together, we have tons in common, he even opens doors for me when we walk into rooms together.
Was i misreading a sign, because now he acts as if nothing happened.
I see him every day and wish i was with him when im somewhere else, he wont get out of my mind.
But he acts like we're great mates still.
It hurts, really badly.
But does anyone have any advice on the matter?

If not advise for him to try see me the way i see him, then advise to get him out of my mind and over him.
Thanks (:

2 Replies

red flag on Mar 02, 2010 @ 07:31 am

Be honest now - did you come out and say "hey, I have feelings for you beyond friendship and would like to see if we could be more than pals", or did you kinda sorta say that maybe you might sometimes wonder if there was a spark between you... beating around the bush?

If you were direct and he's being dodgy like you explained, to me that is a message that he might be mildly interested, but is probably playing the field a little, seeing what all of his options are before he decides. You deserve better, so drop him as a love interest.

If you were vague, he might be confused about your feelings and trying to play cool until he figures you out, which is why he still hangs around.

Clearly he likes you on some level or he'd be long gone. If he's been crushing on you and you were direct with him, he would have jumped all over that opportunity to be together. Consider how you told him and decide if you were clear enough. If not, you could possibly talk about this again, but directly - ask him on a date. If you were clear and he's dodging, either walk away completely or be okay with staying just friends.

If he doesn't share your feelings, that doesn't make him a bad person. We are all entitled to like who we want, and I wouldn't fault him for wanting to stay friends without the romantic side. The difference would be how he treats you in general. If he leads you on like crazy or maybe even tries to score with you in bed, then he is no friend at all. But if he's just your pal and doesn't know how to gently let you down (so instead pretends like he didn't understand what you said), I wouldn't be too harsh on him. You're both still in school, so I'll assume that you are relatively young still.

Take it all in stride, honey. Things will work out the way they were meant to. I'm sorry you are hurting over this, though. *hugs*

Ali de Bold
Guys are simple on Mar 02, 2010 @ 01:05 pm

It's funny. We as women like to analyze everything, but I think for the most part guys aren't like that. They say what they mean, act like they feel and there really isn't a lot of 'strategy' to it, unless you are dating a player who is a loser for sport.

If you told him you like him and he is pretending like you didn't say anything, he's probably not interested. He might not have the guts to tell you he doesn't feel that way about you, or he might not want to hurt your feelings. If he does like you, you've provided an open invitation and he would act on in.

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