on Apr 10, 2009 @ 04:39 am|
I am still in love with my ex.
We talk alot still.
I'm not sure what his feelings are.
He was really my best friend.
I bet alot of ppl say that, when they realize that he really wasn't.
But he was mine. I dont know what to do.
Please help. I'm so tired of hurting.
|life's bumps on Apr 10, 2009 @ 12:29 pm|
this the part of love that we all hate the most yet have all expierenced! there is the old saying the heart takes time to heal but hearing that has never made me feel any better, yet it's true! remember you can't make anyone share your same feelings and things do happen for a reason. it is sometimes rare for a couple to remain friends after, take some comfort that you didn't lose such a close friend also. i would think being such friends you might be able to express on a light level with him how u are feeling. only you are allowing yourself to continue to hurt, it can be and usually is for abit hard, to pick yourself up but find who you were before the two became a one! life throws us twist all the time it is how we choose to handle the challenge. you will come out on top! you never know, it might attract some attention!!
best of luck, u won't need it, u already made progress your talking about it!!
|Why is he your ex? on Apr 12, 2009 @ 02:29 pm|
Why is he your ex? What caused you to break up? Forget about what his feelings are like for now, you have to make decisions based on how you feel not on how you think someone else may or may not feel.
When we break up with people we quickly forget why and for some reason all we can remember is the good stuff. Can you completely and truly forgive the person for whatever they did to cause the break up? Or will they be able to forgive you for what you did?
1 million good things wont make up for one terrible thing. Get a pen and a pad and make to columns "things i love about him" and "things i hate about him". Put everything you can think of down on paper from leaving nail clippins in the sink and missing the bowl when they pee to how many times you caught them lieing and cheating. Then put down how many times they made you feel good about being with them. How many times did you get flowers or compliments? How many times were they there for you when you needed them?
Now cross out all the stuff on "things i hate about him" list that you could learn to live with. I asked you to write them down just so you could have a realistic vision of who you think your in love with. Now.. is there anything on the list that you just cant tolerate or forgive him for? Are you willing to accept the fact that he may repeat some of this bad behavoir?
Not look at your "things i love about him" list. Do you need or want things from him that he doesnt seem to have to offer? Are you willing to spend your life without these things?
Your hurting because your heart is attached to the happiness that you remember. Your pain comes from your want/need to feel that happy again. You fear that you will never know happiness again. The reality is that there are billions of men out there that can provide you with the same level if not more happiness. And.. these other billions of men havent cheated on you or called you names or broke up with you.
You have to free yourself from the past so that you can be physically and emotionally available for the future. If you jar your memory with a notepad and pen and take a real good long look at who you think your in love with you will stop hurting.