Feel like Dirt For What He Did To Me.. Am I Overreacting?


Anonymous
on Oct 31, 2008 @ 10:35 pm

Just recently my boyfriend and I decided to spend some time apart to ''grow up". We were arguing alot and we just needed a little break. We were still dating, but decided we would take some time apart to just breathe. I found out today he just added his ex to his myspace profile. It made me so mad I was shaking. I texted him about it and he told me she called him crying about her grandma dying and he had to comfort her. He also has another friend that he knows makes me uncomfortable because they always come to him for comfort and I feel that when you are in a relationship you need to give some things up. I gave up being so close to my guy friends for him. Anyways we were apart two days and I find out he has his ex on his profile. First of all what is he doing to make her feel so comfortable to contact him like this? he had the nerve to call me controlling today. He said we were on a break i didnt think it would be a big deal. I said do you know how big of a slap in the face this was to find out? I got so angry I changed my number and I blocked him from emailing me. What do you guys think is going on here? Did I do the right thing? Did I overreact? Please be brutally honest with me.
 

17 Replies


Steve
Hmm..... on Oct 31, 2008 @ 11:00 pm

The simple fact that he said "we were on a break I didn't think it would be a big deal" indicates he feels like he was caught doing something. Hence the word IT. "It" can be anything, we really have no idea, so let's not speculate because nothing good can possibly come from that. The "what do you guys think is going on here" part? I think you're entitled to be angry at him. The overreacting part? I dunno. It seems sort of extreme but if you don't want to be in contact you're at least taking care of that angle pretty well Are you hoping for a reconciliation? What's your goal with this?
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justfriendsx3
Yes, I think so. on Oct 31, 2008 @ 11:01 pm

I think you are overreacting.
If you're guy friend asked you to comfort you, wouldn't you?!
and you ARE taking a break..and maybe his feelings have changed for you?
You can't blame him for that.
Reply

TigerLilly
Overreacting on Oct 31, 2008 @ 11:30 pm

I think you're taking things way too personal and need to gain some self confidence.

1) You're on a break so you shouldn't be as concerned with him.

2) Exes can be friends, I don't see a problem with that. Plus her grandmother died! Seriously, have a heart here. Maybe she had no one else to turn to.

3) Not really related but it sounds wrong to me that you guys are "sacrificing" friends to be with one another. I personally believe it's not cool to purposefully distance your friends of the opposite sex for your significant other - this goes to both of you. You're friends with your guy friends and nothing more and he should understand that. He's friends with his female friends and nothing more and you should understand that. One of my pet peeves is when people do that when they get in a relationship. It just seems like your disrespecting your friends. Friends aren't back-ups for when you're not in a relationship.

4) Uhh. . . it's just a Myspace page. People add lots of friends they don't even talk to or know.

Brutally honest? You sound paranoid and controlling. You're on a break so really this shouldn't concern you and even if you weren't on a break, trust your b/f. If you can't trust him and start going crazy over little things it probably isn't a healthy relationship.
Reply

Ali de Bold
The real issue on Nov 01, 2008 @ 02:14 pm

I don't think adding someone to your myspace is that big of a deal (break or not). What he does with that is another thing.

I would take this time apart to spend some time thinking. What is the real issue? Why are the two of you having problems? Is this relationship working for you? Do you both still want to be together? Don't focus so much energy on him and what he is doing. If he uses this "break" to start other relationships or rekindle old flames then I would suspect he does not intend to get back together.

He might be thinking this break is permanent. Did he suggest it? Sometimes people say they want to go on a break as a softer way of saying they don't want to be in a relationship with you any more.

Reply

reeshie19
my opinion on Nov 01, 2008 @ 06:18 pm

im a sensitive person so this would affect me too.how long were you dating?i personally think cutting ties from exes isnt a major thing,but if it is affecting your relationship then its a different story..did she ever interfere?because like tigerlilly said..her grandmother died and maybe she sees him as a really close friend to her now...note: "friend".i think blocking emails and changing numbers was a result from an instant reaction,i hope you realise it is a bit childish.why do all that when you could sit him and down and talk?
Reply

Anonymous
he knew.. on Nov 01, 2008 @ 10:49 pm

he knew it bothered me. he knew talking to her was wrong in my eyes. it was two damn days and i find out he had been talking to her and now has her on his myspace?? i cant help but feel betrayed by him. i feel in my heart that he was doing something to make her feel comfortable to contact him and was keeping it from me. i guess im just venting because i know its really over and i cant believe he disregarded my feeling this way.
Reply

reeshie19
that said... on Nov 02, 2008 @ 06:43 am

the fact that you say "he knew talking to her was wrong in my eyes",clears things up more.but are you maybe assuming that he knew or did he always know you were against it?if he always knew,then we could see this in a different light
Reply

Chick85
he's hedging his bets on Nov 02, 2008 @ 10:36 am

I hate to say this - but "on a break" is usually code for "we are almost over" (in my opinion and in my experience). I think he is starting to hedge his bets - lining up some "interesting" prospects and setting up some action for the near future.

Sorry, I hate to say this so brutally - but if the guy is the right one for you - you won't have to "take a break". Also, guys are more pragmatic about this stuff!

I think you did the right thing - block him and move on.
Reply

Steve
yeah on Nov 02, 2008 @ 03:48 pm

cosign with everything nitestar said
Reply

Anonymous
again he knew.. on Nov 02, 2008 @ 07:06 pm

yes he knew. she had texted him once before and we had an argument about it. so he knew.
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