| 55 Replies:
pennylane | Hmmm... on Jul 15, 2009 @ 03:18 pm
I think porn in a relationship can be a good thing. I may even enjoy it a little more than my significant other. Takes a bit more to get me riled up, and watching porn can usually always get things going for me. Especially fun when enjoyed together. | | Reply | | 
anony-mouse | Gross and Cheesy on Jul 16, 2009 @ 07:06 am
Hey - whatever gets you going but to me it's gross and cheesy. I don't know if I would be mad about him watching it but I'd definitely feel weird about it. | | Reply | | 
aleria | I'm Not For It on Jul 17, 2009 @ 08:50 am
I have found the "porn stash" on my husband's computer and it's extremely upsetting for me. I feel that even though he's not physically with them, he's still cheating on me because I'm the only one he is supposed to be looking at like that. I don't go away on long trips and I'm certainly open to having sex (pretty much want it every day) and yet I find that he's watching porn when he's home by himself for a single hour.
I also believe it's degrading to both men and women and causes people to be seen and treated like objects (my own experience on that too). We also had agreed that porn would not be part of our marriage, so I'm dealing with that too.
What it does though is make me feel insecure, confused and upset. I feel that maybe I'm not doing enough, maybe I'm not good looking enough, maybe he's not getting something from me and more. It makes me feel ugly because I can't look like those women (perfect bodies, perfect boobs, perfect skills) and I can't do half of what they do (I have a genetic disorder that makes my quite unflexable due to my hips) and so it really upsets me. | | Reply | |
aleria | To Add... on Jul 17, 2009 @ 08:53 am
Also, most statistics show that men watching pornography usually leads to other activities (inappropriate conversations with women online to cheating). So to me, I also see it as a danger to my relationship.
I do believe that standards need to be set by you and your partner, but I am against it. | | Reply | | 
eliza-bear | Madison! <3 on Jul 18, 2009 @ 08:30 pm
Wow, I have been struggling with my issues with porn as they pertain to my relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years for most of our relationship. Granted, there are some trust issues, crossed boundaries, and such, but I have sought help online for a long time. Your answer here is the most helpful, and succinct advice I have found! Thank you. Seriously. And I would really like to know more about your take on porn, if you are open to it. :o) | | Reply | | 
merri | cant get into porn but dont mind the concept on Jul 19, 2009 @ 03:47 am
i dont personally like to watch porn.. ive tried it, and its just not for me. too graphic or something. BUT i am not against it and wouldnt be mad at all if someone i was dating was watching it. actually ive watched it before with ppl i was dating. i dont see how its cheating... its just like if you see someone hot walking by and notice it. youre not doing anything with them. well ppl who watch porn arent doing anything with the porn actors either, theyre just looking. they dont even know who this person is, its just a stranger. NOW, if i found someone was on webcam with one of those porn sites, that are interactive... yes, i'd be mad. cuz thats active participation with another person, which in my mind is cheating. but dvds or online videos, are just a healthy expression of sexuality. it actually prevents cheating cuz its a healthy outlet to seeing things that you guys might not do in the bedroom, or other types of women. and, it might give you some new ideas. looking at porn videos makes me feel hotter cuz those women look scary. fake too big breasts, fake too big lips, etc. i dont aspire to look like them. id rather look like me. also, my best friends are (male) porn actors and they are not degraded in their work. i dont know any women porn stars but id imagine its the same. | | Reply | | 
shatteredheart | I hate it! on Jul 31, 2009 @ 09:12 pm
I hate porn, it's disgusting, especially in a relationship! My ex loved it, and I told him how much I hated it...From time to time he'd look at it behind my back, but he promised me he wouldn't...It made me feel like I wasn't good enough for him, wasn't attractive enough, so he needed to look at some fake bimbo getting plowed in some ungodly position just to get turned on enough to get off...It makes me mad just thinking of porn! lol | | Reply | | 
Anonymous
| actually i know about his porn stash. on Aug 08, 2009 @ 06:40 am
he has a whole bunch of dvds i know about, and he's shown me.
and honestly?? i don't really care. boys will be boys.
porn doesn't even get me horny.. i dont know why they watch that shit all the time..
it has like no story line.. its just BAM BAM BAM. right away..
i'm just like... geez... | | Reply | |
Anonymous
| any girls FOR porn? goodness. on Aug 20, 2009 @ 06:03 pm
It's crazy how many of you are SO anti-porn.
Get over it ladies: it's fantasy. Believe or not, most (normal) men can distinguish between that and reality. It's not that he doesn't want to look at you or that he's being unfaithful or whatever. How many times have you thought of someone else while you were having sex with your significant other? Or played with yourself while entertaining dirty thoughts about something other than your man?
I know about his porn stash. In fact, I think my porn stash is bigger (and in all honest, quite different). 4 years and still very strong (sex-life and otherwise).
As far as the "statistics" go, you'll know if you look at the actual scientific literature out there that there has been very little studied in a neutral light - most of the porn studies have focused on men, with an anti-porn spin. If you read carefully (and not just talk about some vague statistics), you'll discover weak arguements and flawed methodology.
In any case, there's always a comfort zone within a relationship - and I'm damn lucky that my boyfriend and I are on the same page. | | Reply | |
aleria | Reply to "any girls FOR porn? goodness." on Aug 25, 2009 @ 09:25 am
Actually I can say 100% that I have NEVER:
--Thought about anyone else why having sex with my husband.
--Entertained thoughts of someone else--EVER
And actually, the statistics that I was looking at was a study by a man who was for porn. After studying the problems it causes in relationships, he changed his mind about pornography. There's a lot of idiots out there that try to say that watching pornography alone or together as a couple will improve your sex life.
I completely disagree.
Thinking about anyone other than my husband would be considered cheating, emotionally, but still cheating.
I believe and stand by the fact that pornography is also cheating. He should only be thinking about me and only want me. He shouldn't need porn to have intimate relations with me.
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