|... on Mar 09, 2009 @ 11:35 am|
Men form emotional ties slower, and are more likely to regard initial sexual contact as just sex. Rarely can a women pull off the friends with benefits caper without eventually feeling emotionally attached. Most of this is due to hormones (estrogen etc) we have....they *(%&* us up lol
Good luck and be strong...you'll need it if you ever decide to enter this type of relationship.....
Ali de Bold
|Why? on Mar 09, 2009 @ 02:49 pm|
Doing this gives you a label of "booty call". Imagine him bragging to his friends, which of COURSE he will do. Then all of his friends will think of you that way too, which means you have zero respect.
While you may tell yourself it's no big deal and you are both using each other, I agree with silvercity that women tend to become more emotionally attached to sex. Plus, while you may still be able to respect him, he will not respect you. When he decides to move on and invest his time and effort with another woman, you will feel used and tossed to the side. In the mean time, you will have wasted your time with him and possibly passed up meeting a really great guy who values you.
I would never put myself into this scenario or recommend anyone else do it. The risks far outweigh the benefits.
|waste of time on Mar 09, 2009 @ 02:58 pm|
I don't get why ANY woman would want to do this. Not only do women get attached (I have had a few friends try this and every last one of them has been hurt in the end) but the guy never looks at the girl with respect in the end, he just sees her as sex. Waste of time, don't bother.
|Hmmm on Mar 09, 2009 @ 08:50 pm|
Why is it a waste if I am using him for sex as much as he is me? I have fun?
I think its unfair to assume every girl gets attached. If you have a past with this guy and come to realize there is no strong emotional connection, but a minor one, with a stronger physical attraction wouldnt that work?
And how would I miss out on meeting a nice guy? I still go about my life as usual, just once a fortnight I have sex? If I started dating someone I would stop and vice versa. Maybe he brags to his mates, but I do to mine aswell? It is what it is.
I am single and dont really have time (or want) for a relationship but I also dont want to go out and have random sex?
I think it comes down to how strong a woman you are
|... on Mar 09, 2009 @ 09:01 pm|
IMO...as long as you don't expect anything emotional from him and you are not lying to yourself about your feelings and are really really strong then I don't disagree with this type of relationship. I just happen to think that it's harder for women than it is for men in a FWB situation...
Source: Personal experience :-)
|Disagree on Mar 09, 2009 @ 10:02 pm|
NO, I don't think it comes down to how strong a woman you are. Most of the women on this website that I have met are very strong women and they don't have F buddies. I think it comes down to what you want and don't want and misschickie and mizzrobin are just not down with the casual romp stuff like you are. I agree with silvercity, as long as you are not kidding yourself then go ahead and do what you want. I am sure most women here would say go ahead and do what you want also.
|Haven't done it myself on Mar 09, 2009 @ 10:44 pm|
I haven't done it myself but I know people who have - guys and girls. I think usually someone does get hurt in the end. It might be one person in the agreement or some outsider.
I personally think that as long as both parties set ground rules then it's fine. Just know what you're getting into and make sure you're safe. If he's doing it with you, he could be doing it with other girls, so make sure you're safe.
As for if it's "right" or not, that's all up to personal opinion.
|Have fun, with caution on Mar 10, 2009 @ 02:27 pm|
I have several friends who have done this, men and women. There were times when the guy actually ended up with feelings for the girl in the end and got hurt - not the other way around.
Remember how much risk is involved. There is always the chance you can catch an STI (and no ladies, do not say that he is "clean" just because you cannot see anything on his penis -- many carriers of STIs have no idea they are carrying anything).
Even if he does say that he gets tested regularly, make sure you get to see the test results. Do not just take his word for it. Test results can sometimes take weeks to receive, so make sure he has received them before he says "I got tested!"
I also have friends who were doing it with a casual partner; only to have fallen love with the guy, but to end up pregnant with their child. And guess what... he left her.
There is always the risk of pregnancy, even if you are on the pill or are using condoms. There are people who use the pill exactly as prescribed and take it at the same time everyday, but still get pregnant (it's always a friend of another friend - or something like that) even though the risk is low, you can always be one of those statistics! If that does happen... wouldn't you want it to be with someone you trust, and would stick with you?
I find it really funny, but in some stores in Paris they put the condoms and birth control next to the baby stuff... really funny.
|good advice on Mar 10, 2009 @ 03:55 pm|
Good advice artist, always be cautious. I do believe it is a personal opinion as tigerlilly said as well. As for eddy enough with the "i'm ugly" stuff, it's annoying.
|It depends on Mar 10, 2009 @ 07:53 pm|
This is all very dependent on the guy and the girl involved. I have had flings where the guy did not want to let go, and then there have been times I didn't want to stop seeing the guy. However I have had a very successful 'friends with benefits". I don't know why it worked. He didn't know any of my friends, and I didn't know any of his, so i have no idea if he bragged, but it didn't matter to me. We both got what we wanted and it was nice. I had a room mate in university who lived on one night stands, she insisted it was her right as a feminist to act just like a man (I am sure real feminists would choke, and that she actually set back the movement a notch, lol).
If this is approached the right way it could work for a while. I wouldn't recommend it lasting very long, or meeting very frequently, otherwise bonds and habits will form that are hard to break when one person wants to move on.