'friends with benefits'


Anonymous
on Dec 05, 2007 @ 11:16 pm

Ladies (or gentlemen) what are your thoughts on having a 'friend with benefits?' I was having a discussion about this topic with some friends the other day, and we were pretty split down the middle.
I think it's okay as long as you're being safe about it - I mean, everyone has urges that need to be met, but some of my friends were completely against it.
Is it possible to have a strictly friends with benefits, no strings attached type of 'relationship' without getting emotionally involved?
 


5 Replies


reeshie19
well... on Dec 06, 2007 @ 04:46 am

if u both agree on being friends...then im pretty sure it's gotta stay that way.it's always easier when the guy and girl are both not looking for somethin serious.things can get messy if it goes on for too long though...if u think about it.im not sure,i have lots of respect for myself so i wouldn't do it,but then again,i will never look down on girls who do.it's their choice! x x x
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Feisty Redhead
not my kind of thing on Dec 06, 2007 @ 07:48 am

I'm not the kind of girl who can be intimate with a man if I don't love him or at least have some feelings for him, so there is no such thing as "no strings attached" for me. I have had friends who had those relationships though and it seemed that eventually one of them would get feelings for the other person and things always ended badly. Frankly I don't understand the people who can have those kinds of relationships, but to each their own.
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Anonymous
Sure, why not? on Dec 06, 2007 @ 08:54 am

I have had those before, when between guys and not really looking or can't find someone worth it. It is tricky, however. You really do need to find the right person for this job, and boundaries must be clear. It is always better to choose someone you know you could never be with/fall in love with. I had a successful one this past summer. it didn't last long as I found someone I wanted to be serious with, but things never turned for the worst. If you are the type who confuses intimacy with love, stay away! But if you are cool with having a friend in the same boat as you be in a non committed 'friendship" then I say go for it! It has nothing to do with backward feminism, lack of self-respect etc, as things are clear from the get go. In fact, it should be liberating - men and women both have needs. It's better than having a random one night stand, regretting it and feeling bad, or dating someone you secretly don't like just for some intimacy and fun. Honesty is always best, and safest!

Have fun!
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Ali de Bold
not safe on Dec 06, 2007 @ 10:35 am

I've had friends who have done this and had their hearts broken because they fell for the guy. In one particular case I'm thinking of, the relationship was supposed to be strictly for sex and they did this for 3 years (!!!) Though she swore she wasn't interested in him at first, she eventually fell for him and was devastated when he told her he felt nothing. She did everything she could to try to get him interested but there was no point and he didn't want them to stop having sex even after she admitted her feelings, which made her feel really cheap and used. I think it is a dangerous game to play. I also agree with Feisty Redhead's comments.
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MizzRobin
I am with MissChickie on this one... on Dec 09, 2007 @ 10:43 am

I have seen friends try this...the friends I thought could, the friends I thought couldn't and it has NEVER worked out in favour of what the girl wanted in the end. Even when it was stickly just sex with these two friends for years, once the guy found someone he actually liked and had to cut off the fwb it ended up killing the friendship. In the most recent situation, she said she did not want more either but the minute the guy like liked someone she was like 'what the heck does she got that I haven't' and so ended their friendship. I think that part of it has to do with the women involved knowing themselves and part of it is also a part of the way we are built.... after sex women have their own hormones spike that signal feeling of attachment/closeness. Men don't get this spike so they can compartmentalize their feelings if they choose to do so. Anyway, dangerous dangerous territory...steer clear of it if you can!
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