Grow up already

on May 23, 2016 @ 03:13 pm

Ok so I just have to rant - though I am shaking my head and in a way laughing at the same time, the situation is just THAT ridiculous. 
Over 10 yrs ago I dated this guy for a couple of months - he was quite a character and I knew really quickly that he was not the One, he was driving me crazy and I just felt like he was bringing out the worst out of me instead of my best, so instead of trying to make it work I broke up with him. Best decision I could make! We were friends before that and frankly should have never dated but what happened happened and I can't take it back. 
Anyways, over the years I have learned from a few mutual friends that he stopped talking to them because they were still talking to me (and I would never ask anyone to pick a side considering we really did not date for very long). One told him he was childish and he kind of admitted it and now talks to her again, but still. The other day I actually saw him at a friend's baby's birthday party - she knew I wouldn't care that we were both invited, and she did not warn him ahead of time because she did not want him to not show up for such a stupid reason - as she said, we are all grown up and should be able to deal with running into each other - which I completely agree with. 
I said hello to him and he barely said hi back. If a look could kill I'd be in a million little pieces haha. It was BAAAAD!!! 
Seriously, he was there with his wife and beautiful child and he still hates me this much....more than 10 years later. 
It's sad and funny at the same time and I wish he would grow up - clearly in his 40s it might be too late for that? I am not saying let's be friends but come on, mutual friends shouldn't have to pick whether to invite him or me to escape awkardness, we should be able to be civil!  

13 Replies

. on May 23, 2016 @ 03:49 pm

Sounds like a typical doufus. You definitely made the right choice, and your friends that he won't talk to now are probably better off. I wouldn't give this loser any more thoughts or time. Just sayin'...

. on May 23, 2016 @ 03:57 pm

What on earth?!!!!!! The guy is married and has a child and he still acts sour to you. Good gracious, it's quite sad but I do find it a bit funny haha oh gosh. I guess as long as no one makes a scene about it, you can just ignore whether or not he returns your hellos. There probably isn't much point besides out of politeness to invest any time into him if he cannot even say hello or be civil after 10 years. He needs to grow up though, he's married and has a child for goodness sakes but what a story-- I agree with you

Have a good day! :)

. on May 23, 2016 @ 08:34 pm

Wow! 10 years later? With a wife and kids? He should definitely grow up. Don't pay any mind to this. He obviously wasn't worth it then, and still isn't worth it now.

. on May 24, 2016 @ 12:27 am

Wow, 10 years is a long time to hold a grudge on someone. I guess to each of their own.

On the same topic, I have heard and had a few friends with similar problems.
It could be that new new significant other is jealous of you and gets mad at him if he associates himself with you?
I've seen that scenario many many times. The guy gets scared to see his ex or say hi or talk to them because the new (girlfriend/wife) will give him crap for it for days on end.

Still either way, life is too short to hold that kind of grudge or if it's the other way, to be jealous of something that is so many moons ago. :) You, dodge a bullet is all I can say! :)

. on May 24, 2016 @ 02:09 am

If anything, he's the one missing out on what could have been a civil friendship. Although everyone is entitled to feel the way they want to, I do agree that it does seem immature in the way he handled the situation. Maybe the breakup affected him more deeply, who knows... Even at that, now that he's moved forward with his wife and children, wouldn't it be best to put the past behind him and start fresh? Only he knows what was going on in his mind. You did the right thing in trying to be polite. Good for you!

H. on May 24, 2016 @ 07:49 am

Wow....gotta hand it to him for tenacity. If I meet someone free 10 years I can't even remember if I liked them in the first place or

thank you on May 27, 2016 @ 10:06 pm

Thank you everyone for the comments :)
As for the significant other possibly being jealous - I really doubt that is the case - I have met her for the first time there, and she responded to hello without anything giving out that she has a problem with me being there. Did not really talk to her but she gives an impression of very very nice girl - and some of the people I know that know her too confirm that - and she is super pretty too. And from what others say she wears her heart on a sleeve so if she had a problem with me being there everyone would have been able to tell. And she definitely wouldn't feel in jeopardy if he talks to her about me the way he talked about his exes to me (I got the stories with waaaaaaaay too much detail).
I think he is just that kind of a person, he is extremely stubborn and he decided to hate me 10 yrs ago so it's still going on.
Oh well, in some ways it's amusing that's for sure.

It's a small world... on May 27, 2016 @ 10:47 pm

Really though. He'll see you again and hopefully it will feel more comfortable now that he (hopefully) understands that when living in one community - it's a pretty small world with many circles that are more like bubbles..
Sounds like his wife is a pretty chill lady, she'll think of something. :)
All will be well.

. on May 28, 2016 @ 12:25 am

If his wife is cool with you than its him being childish.
On the other hand, I would just give it the 3 strike rule.
You could attempt to say hi to him and if he doesn't say anything
Back by the third hi. Cut him off and forget about it.
At least you know you tried at that point.
One of the downfall of dating someone is after the breakup. Some
People may be able to remain mutual friends some people can't. :)
Again, you dodged a bullet. :)

Mean boy on Jun 06, 2016 @ 09:12 pm

That's too bad, but some people will never get over it. No need to say hello in the future.

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