on Apr 13, 2009 @ 08:32 pm

I have been dating this guy for the past 5 months now. When we are
together we are great and have a million things in common. The problem
is that I found out that he had been txting other girls about wanting
to sleep with them (I wasn't snooping I was sitting beside him when he
got a response from one of them). I got angry and broke up with him and
then we ended up getting back together. Things were good at first and
then it went bad again over trust issues. He lied time and time again,
and I had the feeling that he was starting to talk to girls online
again.so we broke up for the 2nd time. The entire time we were broken
up he kept telling me that he missed me and wanted me back, that he
didn't want anyone else in his bed, that he was in love with me. I told
him that we were not together so I understood if he was to start seeing
someone else, and that I love him too, but I didn't want to be told all
these things if he was sleeping with someone else. So about a month
into this we got back together again, and just today as I was looking
at a dvd on his floor I found an empty condom rapper. I go to throw it
out and there is another one and a used condom in the basket. He said
that it happened when we were not together and that I can't get mad.
I'm not upset that he slept with another girl (well maybe a little) but
I'm upset that he lied straight to my face...again, and that it came so
naturally to him.

What's worse is that I'm thinking about him all the time, and I miss
him. What should I do. He teld me today that he wants to work this out,
but how do I know he's not just a flat out lier and that I can trust
him. Is it wrong to love someone who lies straight to your face???

11 Replies

Answer: My opinion on Apr 13, 2009 @ 09:07 pm

I am sorry that this has happened to you and I am going to give you some advise. As you said you dated off and on and he lied to you several times, and you have trust issues with him... Well I dont think that is a very good relationship to be in, every time you give in to him you are basically showing him how to treat you, your showing him that everything he did was okay. And it's not. You have lowered your standards for a boy, and thats showing other boys that this is how they can treat you... and they can't. You know it will be hard to let go of him but it will be harder to stay with him, when you know he isn't commited to the relationship. There are other guys that are actually going to appreciate your personal worth and value. Boys are like a pair of shoes, if they fit and your comfortable with them you keep them and if they don't.... well you don't keep them :P

And as a final note, the more you stay with him the more chances that you are going to miss out on your knight in shining armour. ;)

I hope everything works out for you.



Ali de Bold
You know the truth on Apr 13, 2009 @ 11:14 pm

I agree with the advice from Anonymous. This is a no-win situation for you. There is no trust in this relationship because he has proven he cannot be trusted. This is not how a person behaves when they love someone. If he was really in love with you, he wouldn't have any desire to trade flirtatious texts with other women because you would be the focus of his affections.

What he tells you now is irrelevant, because his past actions have been a direct contradiction to his words.

Your Options
You can either choose to continue on with the roller coaster having warm fuzzies with him one minute and reeling from betrayal the next, or you can cut your losses and invest your energy only in positive relationships.

He has given you no reason to believe he has changed and in a situation like this, words mean nothing. If a person really wants to change, they do it. Talking about changing is useless with no action.

Ultimately you have to be ready to let go, but I dated guys like this in my single years and it was a tremendous waste of time and emotional energy.

True love isn't this complicated.


ditto on Apr 14, 2009 @ 07:38 am

I absolutely agree with what the others said. This sounds like bad news, and you should move on now before you get hurt even worse.

Agree on Apr 15, 2009 @ 08:45 am

I agree with all the above. He doesn't sound good at all. Cheating and lying is not a good combo. And even though sleeping with other girls when not together isn't wrong it just doesn't sit right with me. This is causing you a lot of turmoil and I don't think he's treating you well. You deserve better than that.

What a pig on Apr 17, 2009 @ 12:10 pm

Why would you want to be with a slob who leaves condom wrappers around his place for months? If he treats his home like that how do you expect him to treat you? There are a million clues to who someone really is but you have to have your eyes open to see them.

so yeah on Apr 17, 2009 @ 09:38 pm

Now they weren't around for months I'm assuming just days (not that it
makes it ANY better). But it's all good, we hung out the other day to
see if there was anything between us (this was after him calling be and
telling me again that he loved me and wanted to be together forever)
and it was fine. Nothing happened. Then when I got home I called him
and said that it just doesn't work between us. Then he called me 20 min
later to ask, and I quote... soooo can I hit that one more time?? LOL
ummm....NO. What makes this even funnier is that as of that night he's
now listed as "in a relationship". So I checked with a few friends, and
yeah, he's already got a new gf and is asking me to sleep with him
again on last time. Nice eh?? What did I ever see in him???

Sex on Apr 17, 2009 @ 11:22 pm

It sounds like to me he was only looking for sex and being in a relationship can give him a good back-up in case he can't get anything else. I'm glad that you have been able to get out of this.

Its only a booty call... on Apr 21, 2009 @ 02:13 pm

This happens and has happened to all of us!! He is definately not worth your time as the strong "chick" that you are. Run away as fast as you can and get back to some of the things that you love to do to get your mind of this guy. Go shopping..!! Find an amazing HOT outfit...go to the gym...work out hard, buy that outfit and then go out with your gal friends and have a good time.

Walk away from that relationship ASAP...

Ali de Bold
So glad you are done with that on Apr 21, 2009 @ 07:37 pm

I second what nova12 said:

" Go shopping..!! Find an amazing HOT outfit...go to the gym...work out
hard, buy that outfit and then go out with your gal friends and have a
good time."

stay away on Apr 22, 2009 @ 02:04 pm

Stay away from him. The less you see and talk to him, the less feelings you will have. Ignore him as much as possible, if not all together. He will be on your mind less, and you will have more time to meet someone new.

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