on Mar 23, 2010 @ 08:48 pm

k guys.. i need ur help.. me and my boyfriend are together for nearly 2years now.. for a while now ive been feeling like sex is a chore or that im just not n2 it ane more.. At the start i didnt really even find him that attractive and we used to do it nearly every day.. fair enough you usually be like that at the start but it shudnt die down like this as much.. he still always wants it so he doesnt feel like i do.. i love him with all my heart and hes my best friend.. really dont see ane way outa this but people have been tellin me to break up with him but thats defently not an option.. is there ane1 that cud help me with this cuz i really dont no wat to do.. tanx

7 Replies

Ali de Bold
Normal? on Mar 25, 2010 @ 01:44 pm

It's pretty normal to go through periods of time in your relationship where you aren't feeling it. Every relationship goes through peaks and valleys. I don't think you not being into sex right now is a reason to not be with him if the relationship is otherwise great. You say you love him and he is your best friend. Those are two very good reasons to not make a hasty decision. Can you talk to him about it and see if you can find some ways to spice things up?

Dont break up! on Mar 26, 2010 @ 03:27 pm

Everyone loses their sex drive once in a while... but honestly... this is what you should do:
Watch a short porn film... it will get you excited. Or read some erotic stories (free on the internet) if you arent into watching it.

Of course, this wont work all the time... but its good if you know before hand that action is going to go down later that night.

This sounds bad but how do you know your sex drive wont still be low if you date someone new? Having a boyfriend and a best friend all in one is worth more than exciting sex with new people in the long run.
Good luck!

Maybe...just maybe... on Apr 11, 2010 @ 10:29 am

You've settled. If you aren't into it anymore then maybe you aren't into HIM anymore and you are confusing the love. I used to think that I was in love with certain men in my life and it wasn't real. I love them still as friend, as people in my life but I definitely do not love them like I want them in my arms and bed forever.
I don't find these feelings to ever go away. I have felt it and the best thing I ever did was to call it quits and let myself and the other person move on.

Maybe you are at an age where you just need to date and test the waters. It's the best way to find the one you REALLY want. It's a spark that turns into a huge flame. (I found my man when we were both not seriously dating. Just hanging with other people and dating around and realized we don't want to be apart)

Young once on Apr 11, 2010 @ 06:15 pm

You sound pretty young which means you're not at the point in your life where you recognize that the relationship has hit a deadend and there's no going back. How do I know? classic "breaking up is not an option"...why not? who says?
You're lack of enthusiasm with such a personal and private issue says it all. He will soon tire of arguing with you and you will tire of finding excuses so the best thing, the healthiest choice is to break it off now before the bitterness sets in.

I'm really the last person on earth to give sex advise but... on Apr 16, 2010 @ 03:48 pm

Why not try to spice things up? Think of what turns you on and role play that with him. Act like a sex kitten and you might start feeling like one. Do things to turn him (instead of him being turned like default clock work) ...this will make you realize your own sexiness and might help in turning you on!!

I think sometimes people might lose interest in sex because they don't FEEL sexy themselves. So dress up, make yourself feel your hottest and hey do him over too while you're at it!!

In my humble opinion, if you're happy in the relationship on all other fronts, then at least trying to work out the single problem area is worth it.

Keep us posted & Best of luck :-)

who where and a what now? on Apr 17, 2010 @ 07:00 pm

I dont care what anyone tells you.. sexy is VERY important. Maybe that changes down the road but in the first 10 years if your not attracted and wanting him all the time then you need to break up and find someone who flips your switch.

Being buddies is great but you cant bond with a buddy like you can with a lover. Life is short.. dont settle for watered down passion.While your perfectly content with being pals with this guy he wants a lover. If you cant be that person for him let him go so he can find someone who wants the job.

respectfully disagree... on Apr 18, 2010 @ 04:13 pm

... with Anonymous (directly above my post). I have been married for over 15 years and our relationship constantly fluctuates between mad hot passion and cuddles & spooning only. It is what it is, and sometimes the reason you're not on fire is because of other stressors, not necessarily your partner. It can be premature to call things off just because things are a little less wild in the bedroom. Too often we walk away because doing the work to set things straight seems like just that - work.

Of course you should evaluate your relationship as a whole, and of course there may be great reasons to part ways. But here's some harsh truth, girlfriend - as you get older with the same man or with a stream of guy-of-the-month, your sex drive will change over time. It almost doesn't matter who's sharing your pillow. Do you think your grandparents are getting it on night after night? Chances are they haven't made love in years - but they are still very much in love and the relationship no longer depends on sweaty nights.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't use only your bedroom antics as a thermometer for your relationship. It really is only one of many factors. If other important aspects of your relationship are also failing, then start thinking about moving on. If it's just sex, see what you can do to fix that.

Leave A Reply

Your Reply:


Join Our Newsletter

Stay in the loop for the latest news, contests, deals and more!