on Mar 02, 2011 @ 10:31 am|
This guy that I just started dating is confusing me, He is going off to the army in 3 months. When we first started getting to know each other he told me he didn't want anything serious because he was leaving soon, I understood his situation and I left him alone... he pursued me and now we are dating. We just recently were talking about our past relationships and how he has been engaged twice and the reason he doesn't want to be serious with a female is because he is afraid of getting hurt but then he tells me he really cares about me and he wants to try to see if we can be serious.... I don't know how to respond he is leaving in 3 months and i really do want to fall under the cliche of waiting for him. Don't get me wrong I really like this guy but I don't love him and if you do last I will get hurt and it will be months maybe years before I can see his face What should I do??
|I would let it be on Mar 02, 2011 @ 11:13 am|
Sometimes circumstances make it more difficult than it's worth to be together. You said yourself, you're not in love yet so my initial advice would be to get out now. It'll be tough, but it will be even tougher if you want to end things while he is overseas.
Having said that, I am also a huge believer in 'what's meant to be will be" so if you are meant to be together in the future, you will! So take a break now, live your life and if you guys end up together down the road then that's awesome! If not, then you'll be with someone who fits you even better :)
My fiancé and I broke up early in our relationship because we weren't seeing each other enough to establish a real relationship. We split from June - August and in September we got back together because we realized it was better being long distance than not being together. So who knows what could happen between you, you could either decide to be together or you will slowly drift apart, either way you’ll have figured out what you want/need. I'm telling you this because I learned a lot while we were apart, it gave me 3 months to really focus on what I wanted in a relationship, separate from him, and I think it made me a better person when I we re-entered the relationship.
Anyways, I hope you do a little soul searching and figure out what it is that YOU want and make the best decision for YOU!
|my 2 cents: don't commit on Mar 02, 2011 @ 11:30 am|
In short: This is not the time he should be starting a new relationship. It's especially not fair on you. You're not in love with him so don't get involved with him right now. Maybe once he's back, if both of you are still free and willing (and he has the proper time to devote to develop a new relationship), then give the relationship a try. But right now, when he's leaving indefinitely and neither of you have "Love" to that level for each other, why voluntarily create heartache where none have to exist? As you said, you don't love him, and you don't know when next you'll see his face. Maybe months or years, right? Do you really want to start building a relationship while your partner is away indefinitely? You might even end up feeling like you got cheated out of your months/years you spend waiting for him? Your relationship is just starting out. You might even find once he comes back that he's a changed man, and the one you waited for is not there?
My opinion is, don't commit now. Tell him that once he's back if you both are free, and he has the time to dedicate to a relationship, and both want to see if a relationship can work between you two, then start again and see where it leads. But to begin a relationship just when he's going away indefinitely makes no sense to me.
This is just my opinion .. good luck with whatever decision you two make!
|Well Hello there Mr Ben and Mr Jerry! on Mar 02, 2011 @ 03:38 pm|
Better to get a good cry out now, binge on some ice cream and chocolate for 2 days rather than spend 4 or 5 weeks binging and crying in if/when you break up 8 months from now...
|agreed on Mar 02, 2011 @ 03:44 pm|
too early to be making an "I'll wait for you" kind of commitment. If it's meant to be it will be - I firmly believe this also. I'm a little worried by the fact he's been engaged twice before. What's that all about? For many people that might just mean he's been unlucky in love, but for some it could point to a pattern...