his sisters still talk to his ex..

on Oct 17, 2009 @ 05:41 pm

I've been dating my bf for about 3 years now. All is good between us i mean ofcourse we have had our share of problems but i am genuinely happy to have him in my life. I recently found out that his little sister has been keeping in contact with his ex. She sent her a facebook message saying i love you and i miss you. she also commented on how pretty she looked in her pictures. For some reason this bothers me. At times I feel stupid for feeling this way but i can't help it. It feels almost like a slap in the face that I'm here and have been for quite some time and she misses my bf ex it honestly hurt my feelings. I didn't want to bring it up to my bf but i did. I told him what I read and how it made me feel. I also told him that I felt like it could be a way in for his ex to reconnect with him which made me uneasy. He assured me that he would never speak to her and that I am all he wants. He also went on to say that his sis is still a teenager and she and his ex were very close and he can't control what she does, but to trust that he would never speak to his ex. I still feel uneasy and a little hurt. Is this wrong? What should I do? How should I feel? Is this normal? thanks

16 Replies

also wanted to add... on Oct 17, 2009 @ 06:11 pm

he also has an older sister that is my age. I saw that they recently became friends on facebook. I understand the younger sister being naive and not understanding that it might hurt my feelings, but for his older sister to do the same? I just don't understand and my feelings are genuinely hurt i actually cried.. please help

Ali de Bold
Maybe not so bad as you think? on Oct 18, 2009 @ 04:27 pm

Just because your boyfriend's relationship with her ended doesn't mean it necessarily needs to end for the sisters. Your boyfriend chooses to be with you, which is the most important.

I think if you asked them not to be friends with her it would only make you look insecure and they might hold it against you. If she was coming by the house all the time and invited to family dinners that might be a bit different, but from what you've said it sounds like they are merely staying in touch via Facebook, which isn't really that big of a deal is it?

Just focus on having a good relationship with your boyfriend and his sisters. The connection they have with his ex likely has nothing to do with you (i.e they aren't doing it to hurt you), so don't take it personally.


Don't worry about it on Oct 19, 2009 @ 02:39 pm

What is important is that you and your boyfriend have a good relationship. Whether or not his sisters keep in touch with his ex has nothing to do with him or you. I also agree with misschickie in that if you make a big deal about it, it is just going to make you look insecure (which you shouldn't be). I would just leave it alone and concentrate on your relationship with your boyfriend, not his siblings relationships with his ex.

it's a good thing on Oct 21, 2009 @ 09:08 pm

At least you know that they are good people and if something were to happen to you and him, they wouldn't base their relationship with you on that.


it's time to be fair... on Oct 23, 2009 @ 09:19 am

I completely understand that you feel hurt and a little threatened by the way your bf's sisters have behaved but just because he broke up with her doesn't mean his family did. It's hard when relationships end and the people around you are forced to pick sides. I think it's really admirable that the split was amicable for everyone to still be friends.

I honestly don't think you need to worry. If your bf told you he wants you and no other and has never given you a reason not to believe him then I think you have it pretty good. With time his sisters will feel the same about you. (I'm still waiting on my bf's little sis to warm up to me).

You're a pretty lucky girl.

more to this story.. I just found out today... on Oct 27, 2009 @ 02:37 pm

i found out today that his ex sent him a birthday card. he did NOT tell me about it. his whole family knew about it and his sister even thanked his ex for it. I threw in the towel and just told him its over. i knew i could get over his sisters talking to her but now i found out that his ex sent him a birthday card and he didnt tell me about it?? what do i do now? i feel so hurt

i think... on Oct 27, 2009 @ 11:10 pm

that you are overreacting. A birthday card is harmless unless she delivers it naked at 2am in the morning. A card is just a card. I wouldn't blame him for not telling you if you get in such a tizzy over his sisters talking to her. You need to calm down and think of the situation rationally. No one deserves to be treated the way you are treating your bf. How would you feel if he was treating you like that? If you accuse a man of doing something wrong he'll eventually get fed up of trying to defend himself against the person he loves and either bolt or make your lies truth.

And if you break up with him every time you feel hurt and threatened he's going to get sick of your insecurities and leave you to them. I'm sorry if I was blunt and/or rude.

Overreaction on Oct 28, 2009 @ 07:19 pm

I agree that you overreacted. What you said is important, she sent a card, he didn't do anything. As for him not telling you, chances are, it is because he thought you may react exactly as you did. Your reaction says that you don't trust him which is not good and that you are not secure in your relationship which is not good either.

I agree with overreaction on Oct 29, 2009 @ 12:11 am

I agree with misslissa and mizzrobin. I think you have some trust issues with your boyfriend and the whole sister thing and the birthday card are avenues where this is manifesting. What everyone said about the sisters is correct, you can't control who they befriend.

As for the birthday card, it's just a birthday card and not a big deal. I bet you other girls probably wished him a happy birthday in person. If someone sent me a birthday card, I probably wouldn't feel I need to announce it to everyone other than when I just got it. If I got my mail and received a birthday card I'd probably tell my family "Hey, this person sent me a birthday card today" and that's it. It might've just slipped his mind.

I can only imagine what you'd do if his sisters hung out with his ex, she stopped by to pick them up, he was home and they both said "hi" to each other. I think you need to calm down and really look at yourself.

Hmm on Nov 02, 2009 @ 11:11 am

Sounds like you are either overreacting or dealing with someone who has already cheated on you creating trust issues. If your bf has already cheated on you then you might not be overreacting. If you stayed with him after he cheated he should no better than to do anything that even hints at impropriety. He should have thrown the birthday card in the trash and made it clear that he wasn't interested.

If he wants to live like a single guy then let him.

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